Why Suspect Lupin? (WAS: Snape, Lupin's Mistakes Again)

[moongirlk]

No: HPFGUIDX 35175

I tried and I tried to get caught up before commenting on this 
thread, but I'm all in this dark, sexy place Lupin-wise now, and I 
just can't wait.

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "lucky_kari" <lucky_kari at y...> wrote:
> This has got to be the most brilliant character sketch I've seen 
for 
> awhile. <snip>
> Your post made me realize why it is that I love Lupin 

I have to agree with this, although I'd say it explains my feelings 
of something slightly, let's say Edgier than love of Lupin.  
I love him for all the kindness and the enocouraging of Neville and 
being the first person to share Harry's parents with him in a real 
and personal way.  I love the lone wolf thing - the persecuted soul 
who has a hard time trusting because he's never been trusted (my take 
on why he couldn't bring himself to tell Dumbledore about Sirius and 
the tunnels - makes it all the more poignant that the only real 
friendships he ever had were destroyed by lack of trust).  I love his 
sense of humor and his seemingly eternal readiness with chocolate 
(what's not to love!).  

But thanks to Elkins I realize that I *dig* him for the fact that 
he's this only-just-under-control volcano who has the capacity to 
destroy half the people around him (and I'm not talking about 
physically as a werewolf).  It's that insight - if he wanted to, he 
could go straight for the most tender spot and make a grown man cry 
(hmmm... like Peter?), but (unless terribly provoked... like with 
Peter) he chooses not to.  

I was blushing reading Elkins' post and realizing that I'm, well... 
turned on by his capacity for cruelty.  How can this be?  

Snape's got the same capacity, but he acts on it, and not 
appropriately (meaning not only on horrible people like Peter).  
While I have begun to see where some are coming from with him (and 
when occasionally he's managing a degree of restraint can even agree 
with them), he doesn't do it for me in general.  So it never occurred 
to me that I actually liked the underlying currents that allow him to 
do those things, but when they're presented as traits of Lupin's, I 
think they're hot.  I'm beginning to think I'm a sick and twisted 
individual.

I'm going to have to, for the sake of my sanity, cling to the belief 
that it's the control of said volcano-ness that I dig, not the 
volcano itself.  

kimberly
hoping this isn't an indication of some bad-boy fetish in real life, 
but afraid it might explain why things haven't worked out with the 
nice guys she's dated.