Re: SHIP: Florence, Bertha and C.U.P.I.D.’S.B.L.U.D.G.E.R.

Fri Feb 15 02:00:41 UTC 2002

No: HPFGUIDX 35238

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "cindysphynx" <cindysphynx at h...> wrote:
> Cindy wrote:
><snip long Florence/Bertha/Snape/Sirius theory>
>Why can't Florence be Sirius' girlfriend? Hmmm. Let's spin that for 
>a bit. If Florence if Sirius' girlfriend, then Bertha sees Snape 
>kissing Florence, who has suddenly developed an appreciation for 
>sallow skin, hooked noses and greasy hair. Well, OK. Snape curses 
>Bertha, but Sirius hears about it anyway. This <tiny snip on piece I 
will address shortly> would come up short in its effort to be a 
>motive for everything 
>Snape does -- turning DE, hating James, hating Sirius.

Errr, but that's not what I was making for at all
 How about this 
simpler take on events: Florence is Sirius' girlfriend. Bertha sees 
Sirius kissing Florence behind the greenhouses and then (in complete 
consistency with Canon and not proposing a single thing more than 
Canon tells us) teases Sirius about it. Sirius, hot-headed as he is, 
infuriated hurls a hex after her. After all who likes being spied on 
while making out with their girlfriend?

This of course leaves Snape out of things completely. Right, got to 
elaborate a bit then: The kissing scene Bertha walks in on takes 
place during the couples' first date. (All the more reason then for 
Bertha to think that she'd found out something juicy—- if it's common 
knowledge that Sirius and Florence are dating where's the teasing 
value?—- and all the more reason for Sirius to get upset—more 
vulnerable, see?) And then it is through Bertha, as you suggest, that 
Snape finds out about the incident. So?, you might ask, If Snape's 
not going out with Florence why should this information bother him 
enough to start off a life—long vendetta with Sirius? Ahhh, this is 
where C.U.P.I.D.'S.B.L.U.D.G.E.R. comes in! Poor Snape you see has a 
* huge* crush on Florence! Consequently, though she may not * 
objectively* be his girlfriend, she is so * in his mind*! And because 
he really doesn't have any right to hold winning Florence against 
Sirius he naturally does so with a vengeance! Why? For the same 
reason he hates James for being good at Quidditch. That's just the 
way Snape works! Black has everything AND the girl Snape had his eye 
on! Grrrrr!!!

Cindy again:

>That said, we do need someone to devise a theory for why Sirius 
hates 
>Snape so much. This is more than just the hatred Sirius has at the 
>end of GoF. For some reason, Sirius hated Snape enough to play the 
>Prank, but I haven't seen a LOLLIPOPS, George, CUPIDSBLUDGER, 
Prince, 
>Mercy, Mercy II type of explanation that I find compelling. Any 
>takers?

I think I'll accept that challenge! C.U.P.I.D.'S.B.L.U.D.G.E.R. can 
indeed explain this puzzle even if it is with just a biiiiiiiiit of a 
stretch... Watch it:

Florence, an all-round amiable, fair and commendable character, 
serves one more purpose in the books: To repudiate the Good Guys 
assessment stated early on in the books (this is an all-encompassing 
and extremely ambitious theory you see, that takes on the solution of 
all HP questions, problems and inconsistencies ; -)) that "there's 
not a wizard that went bad that didn't come from Slytherin". How does 
she accomplish this? By making fast friends with Severus Snape of 
course! Oooohh! How do you think Sirius is going to take to that? Not 
well would be my bet! The first girl he actually has a real interest 
in and she goes off gallivanting with that walking, talking, slime-
dripping Encyclopedia on hexes! And what's more the putrid little 
weasel has the nerve to go around * making passes* at her! Grrrrr!

Ta da! Now we've got both parties nicely snarling at each other!

And so I come to The Prank. 

I wrote:

>And then you've got the Prank. Somehow (Why, oh, why I 
>wonder!) "Well, the slimeball didn't wash his hair enough so he 
>deserved it" doesn't cut it for me. There's got to be something more 
>there. Sooooo...cherchez la femme!
>
>
> Now I realize throwing your rivals in love to hungry 
>werewolves is not exactly a morally acceptable way of getting rid of 
>them, but at least this theory leaves gives room for more backstory 
>on the incident, a *real* explanation of it,so to speak.

What I meant by this (though this is not necessarily to be understood 
by my wonderfully clear phraseology) was that maybe The Prank was 
merely the last and most precarious of a whole series of rivaling, 
macho-exhibiting attempts of the two boys to prove themselves 
errrr... "worthier" than the other.

Once more Cindy:

>Why would Sirius go after Snape's girlfriend? Because (and this is 
>difficult to admit because it goes against my SINISTER instincts) 
>Sirius is just plain not nice.

Been meaning to ask this for a long time: What exactly does SINISTER 
stand for?

On a totally different tread Marina wrote:

>And this is the point where Snape becomes someone I respect, see,
>because most people in such a situation would drop-kick philosophical
>considerations right out the door.  I mean really, how many people
>live their day-to-day lives following a philosophical principle?  
Most
>of us just live following our natural inclinations, and because our
>natural inclinations fall within the bounds of what society finds
>acceptable, we manage to muddle through somehow.  Snape, OTOH, went
>and threw his lot in with people he's naturally inclined to despise,
>because he decided that *they were right.  And he risked his life
>doing it, too.  I mean... wow.

Just like to state that I like this view on Snape. I do think that he 
is what you might call * deep*. He thinks. And he chooses. And he is 
in his thoughts and choices a most unique person. He lives by a code—
not a code constructed by his social environs, but one he has built 
by himself and for himself and that is in fact not accepted by 
anybody else. It needs some backbone to do that, you know! And a 
great deal of belief-in-self too. Snape has set himself apart from 
and against the rest of the world and this is both pitiful and 
admirable. And yes, though I do not necessarily applause all his 
choices, Snape does earn my respect.

(Note that at least in my opinion neither C.U.P.I.D.'S.B.L.U.D.G.E.R. 
nor L.O.L.L.I.P.O.P.S. as I understand it, claim that Passion for 
Unknown Damsel needs be the only reson behind Severus' deliverance 
from evil ways. It is merely the final nudge in the right direction. 
Feel free to think otherwise if you're not too fond of George.)

Return to Cindy:

> Why, you're welcome, and good luck on the tests!
> 
> Cindy

Thanks! I'll need it!

Charis Julia at last gives up and heads off to a very inviting bed

                                           snore