The Big Bangers and Neville

[lucky_kari]

No: HPFGUIDX 35733

Cindy, you've finally sold me on it. Push over a MATCHINGARMCHAIR, and 
 I'll install it in my cabin on the Good Ship LOLLIPOPS, and put my 
GIANTCUSHION on it, while comfortably contemplating the prospect of 
promised exchange arrangements between CUPID'S QUAFFLE and LOLLIPOPS, 
dreaming about ambushes, and wondering why I've fallen for that fickle 
Hanoverian George. 

"But Charlie is my darling", says Eileen sleepily, who, as a child, 
used to rage against Culloden.

Cindy to Elkins:
> I thought we decided we could still be friends.  Besides, I see that 
> you have rebounded to George, and deep down I'm very happy for you. 

But we can still be Georgians and believe in bloody ambushes, can't 
we? Otherwise, you and Elkins are pulling me apart. It's already 
enough trouble trying to cope with your insinuation that us Georgians 
are a scantily clad lot. 
 
> Oh, you want to play "My Neville Backstory Is Bigger Than Yours," 
> huh?  OK, I'm in. 
<Cindy continues with a bang-up backstory for Neville Longbottom>
> 

Ah, I'd always suspected I had Big Bang tendencies, and your story 
just gives more bang for your buck than anything I've heard yet. That 
said, why am I a Georgian? Oh, for a very Georgian reason. Like Snape, 
my principles, awakened by Elkins's relentless witnessing, have 
trumped over my fondness for Big Bang theories, however viscerally 
invigorating.

But this one I'll stick to. 


> No, no, no.  Reverse Memory Charm Neville suffers, you see.  I'm 
> giving Neville a *tremendous* amount of pain.  I'm enhancing his 
> memory so that he hears the shrieks of his parents *every darn 
> day*.  Not only has the Reverse Memory Charm wrecked his memory for 
> things like where he left his toad, it has caused him to repeatedly 
> experience his parents' torture in Dolby and Technocolor.  Reverse 
> Memory Charm Neville has to be Tough to avoid losing his mind 
> completely, if you ask me.  

WOOHOO! Wouldn't that floor Harry, when he finds out? 

> 
> I like to be inclusive, though.  If you like, Neville can be a 
> SYCOPHANT in the making.  Add the pressure of ToadKeeper where 
> Neville has to be strong enough to restore his parents, and you have 
> cinematic nitroglycerin.

Cindy, how could you even suggest this? BTW, I want nothing of your 
ToadKeeper. I hear they give you warts, so keep that craft far away 
from me, though I will do occasional stints on the Big Bang vessel. 

> I think Tex (was it Tex or Eric Oppen?) will have to row that boat 
> upstream himself.  It has Edge (I think), but I don't see why the 
> Lestranges would torture Neville.  Canon says that the Lestranges 
> tortured Frank to get Frank to talk.  I don't see how Frank goes 
> insane if someone tortures Neville.  I mean, why bother?  I need 
> someone to set the scene for me there.

Possible Edge. And you know how we all worship Edge. Your suggestion 
that Fudge has Edge has been mesmerizing me (and making me laugh up my 
guts) for the last half hour. But how is this Edgey? I thought Edge 
was a characteristic of personality. Yet, perhaps you are right. It 
certainly is twisted. OK, you've sold me on it, even though you don't 
believe in it yourself. 

OK. Time to set the scene.

Why would the Lestranges leave Neville out of the picture, Cindy? They 
tortured Mrs. Longbottom to make Frank talk, why would they leave his 
little toddler out of the business? Because Florence Lestrange was a 
kind maternal woman in whom Neville awakened the thought of a lost 
life as Mrs. Sirius Black barefootedly baking cookies for the hordes 
of little Blacks? No, I don't think so. 

"You won't talk? Well, do you want to see your child tortured?"

And Frank Longbottom, being unbelievably tough and principled, like 
the upright Slytherin he is (:-), regards Flo. with a look of 
loathing, and tells her to go to Hell. (Which she does really, Azkaban 
not being that nice a place.) 

Fortunately for Neville, Avery who was on lookout (because he couldn't 
stomach the violence) comes bounding in, and tells them that the house 
is surrounded by Ministry wizards, who have with them a terrified 
Lucius Malfoy, who has told them the whole plan, since he is afraid of 
a) Being seen as an accomplice to it, if he doesn't pass on Avery's 
blabbings or b) The Scheme actually working.  

MUHAHAHAHA! cries the evil Florence Lestrange, while Bartie Crouch 
begins to bawl with fear, and Frank Longbottom laughs at them. 

"You'll never get away, m'dear. My pal Moody will track you to the 
ends of the earth. "

"He'll never know who it was, MISTER Longbottom. We'll apparate out of 
here, and you, your wife, and your child will be incurably insane."

You see, if reverse-memory-charms exist, why would Flo leave Neville 
in a position to testify? Of course, she'd want to leave the little 
tyke in exactly the same position as his parents. 

She picks up poor cowering Neville and raises her wand, but 
cool-headed Frank makes a final and heroic move, summoning up his last 
bit of magical power to push the child out of her hands, and through 
the window. Flo's rage is, of course, horrible, and what she does to 
the Longbottoms is... ummm... very bad. 

You see here, that I'm presuming that Mrs. Longbottom has already been 
mostly incapacitated by this point in the narrative. And, that makes 
sense, because it's Frank who matters for them. They can do whatever 
is necessary to his wife and child, but they need to keep him 
unbefuddled and completely conscious until the last minute. 


> Elkins again:
> 
> > And besides, who ever heard of a "Reverse Memory Charm," anyway?  
> > There's no such thing in canon. 
> 
> OK, now, that really hurt.  

I agree, but I will be tough, I will be brave, and soak it up, as you 
put it. /me calms herself with the soothing passage about the 
Gondorian heads she has used so effectively to help Elkins recover 
from a nervous breakdown. 

Cindy to Elkins:
>And 
> you said you were agnostic on the subject of Memory Charms and were 
> willing to work with me if I'd go along on Avery.  I feel soiled 
> somehow.  

Well, that's what happens to those who marry for reverse-memory 
charms. 

> Reverse Memory Charms are not *directly* mentioned in canon, true.  
> You know, kind of the way Avery's backstory isn't directly mentioned 
> in canon.  <g> But the Reverse Memory Charm *clues* are there.  

Take that, Elkins! 

> There's also the fact that Memory Charm Neville is so darn 
> *obvious*.  I'd say 98% of the people who read the first four books 
> work out Memory Charm Neville completely on their own.  Is JKR so 
> comfortable with her fancy new husband and her fancy new mansion and 
> her fancy new wallet that she's not even going to *try* to shock us 
> with Neville's backstory?  I just can't accept that.  I can't and I 
> won't! ::holds breath, turns red in the face::

JKR, unless you oblige us, we will be holding you personally 
responsible for Cindy's death!!!!

/me turns to comfort Cindy. "Can't you start breathing again? Just 
until OotP comes out, at least? Then you could decide if you want to 
suffocate yourself, based on the actual book? No?"

Eileen

PS. 

>But I must point out 
> that I *still* haven't heard an alternative backstory explanation of 
> what is going on with Neville and Trevor.  
> 
> The challenge still stands.  ::looks around the room hopefully::

I'll think about it. Anything to keep out of TOADKEEPER.