FILK: "I Am the Very Model of an Anti-Hero Archetype"

[marinafrants]

No: HPFGUIDX 35879

I Am the Very Model of an Anti-Hero Archetype
to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General", from
Pirates of Penzance
http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/pirates/html/p13.mid

Scene: Enter SNAPE, swirling his cloak, followed by a chorus of
SLYTHERINS

SNAPE:
I am the very model of an Anti-Hero Archetype,
My condescending manner's guaranteed to make the heroes gripe,
I hang out in a dungeon that a nicer guy would wither in,
It doesn't bother me at all because I am a Slytherin.
I always dress in black with a theatrical and stylish flair,
It makes up for the fact that I don't brush my teeth or wash my hair.
I work with smelly potions in an underground laboratory
And have a gift for sarcasm and other snarky oratory.

SLYTHERINS:
He has a gift for sarcasm and other snarky oratory,
He has a gift for sarcasm and other snarky oratory,
He has a gift for sarcasm and other snarky oratory!

SNAPE:
I'm biased toward Malfoy and the other kids in Slytherin,
I terrorize Longbottom into quiverin' and ditherin',
In short I can assure you that I more than live up to the hype
Of being the very model of an Anti-Hero Archetype.

SLYTHERINS:
In short we can assure you that he more than lives up to the hype
Of being the very model of an Anti-Hero Archetype.

SNAPE:
I have an evil history that's murky and mysterious,
I have a vicious grudge against that bloody bastard Sirius,
I torment Harry Potter every opportunity I get,
But when he is imperiled I am always there to save the brat.
I was a double-agent in the previous Death Eater war,
And now I go again to risk my scrawny neck for Dumbledore,
Exactly what I'm doing, only JKR can say for sure,
But if I'm caught I'll probably get Crucio'd by Voldemort.

SLYTHERINS:
But if he's caught he'll probably get Crucio'd by Voldemort,
But if he's caught he'll probably get Crucio'd by Voldemort,
But if he's caught he'll probably get Crucio'd by Voldemort.

SNAPE:
I'm capable of standing up to hazards occupational,
I'm capable of carrying a grudge cross-generational,
In short I can assure you that I more than live up to the hype
Of being the very model of an Anti-Hero Archetype.

SLYTHERINS:
In short we can assure you that he more than lives up to the hype
Of being the very model of an Anti-Hero Archetype.

SNAPE:
In fact, when we discover the true history behind the Prank,
And learn the real reasons for my quitting the Death Eater ranks,
And why I knew Dark Magic by the time I first showed up at school,
And whether I'll make Dumbledore look like a genius or a fool,
And if Karkaroff mentored me the way he mentors Victor Krum,
And if I ever really had a crush on Harry Potter's mum,
In short, when Jo reveals the truth behind my nastiness and rage,
You'll say a better archetype has never stalked across a page.

SLYTHERINS:
In short, when Jo reveals the truth behind his nastiness and rage,
You'll say a better archetype has never stalked across a page.

SNAPE:
I'm  complicated and intense, heroic and despicable,
My motives are so twisted, some would say they're inexplicable,
In short I can assure you that I more than live up to the hype
Of being the very model of an Anti-Hero Archetype.

SLYTHERINS:
In short, we can assure you that he more than lives up to the hype
Of being the very model of an Anti-Hero Archetype!


Marina
rusalka at ix.netcom.com