FILK: "I Am the Very Model of an Anti-Hero Archetype"

[moongirlk]

No: HPFGUIDX 35889

I know I probably shouldn't send this to the whole list, but I had to 
applaud you publicly - this is one of the best of all the fantastic 
filks I've seen on this list!
And I can't tell you how grateful I am for replacing the *other* 
image I had in my mind of Snape singing and dancing, wherein he had 
on tights and sang "What I did for Love".

kimberly 
Who would have tacked this onto her last post had she seen the filk 
before posting.


--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "marinafrants" <rusalka at i...> wrote:
> I Am the Very Model of an Anti-Hero Archetype
> to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General", from
> Pirates of Penzance
> http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/pirates/html/p13.mid
> 
> Scene: Enter SNAPE, swirling his cloak, followed by a chorus of
> SLYTHERINS
> 
> SNAPE:
> I am the very model of an Anti-Hero Archetype,
> My condescending manner's guaranteed to make the heroes gripe,
> I hang out in a dungeon that a nicer guy would wither in,
> It doesn't bother me at all because I am a Slytherin.
> I always dress in black with a theatrical and stylish flair,
> It makes up for the fact that I don't brush my teeth or wash my 
hair.
> I work with smelly potions in an underground laboratory
> And have a gift for sarcasm and other snarky oratory.
> 
> SLYTHERINS:
> He has a gift for sarcasm and other snarky oratory,
> He has a gift for sarcasm and other snarky oratory,
> He has a gift for sarcasm and other snarky oratory!
> 
> SNAPE:
> I'm biased toward Malfoy and the other kids in Slytherin,
> I terrorize Longbottom into quiverin' and ditherin',
> In short I can assure you that I more than live up to the hype
> Of being the very model of an Anti-Hero Archetype.
> 
> SLYTHERINS:
> In short we can assure you that he more than lives up to the hype
> Of being the very model of an Anti-Hero Archetype.
> 
> SNAPE:
> I have an evil history that's murky and mysterious,
> I have a vicious grudge against that bloody bastard Sirius,
> I torment Harry Potter every opportunity I get,
> But when he is imperiled I am always there to save the brat.
> I was a double-agent in the previous Death Eater war,
> And now I go again to risk my scrawny neck for Dumbledore,
> Exactly what I'm doing, only JKR can say for sure,
> But if I'm caught I'll probably get Crucio'd by Voldemort.
> 
> SLYTHERINS:
> But if he's caught he'll probably get Crucio'd by Voldemort,
> But if he's caught he'll probably get Crucio'd by Voldemort,
> But if he's caught he'll probably get Crucio'd by Voldemort.
> 
> SNAPE:
> I'm capable of standing up to hazards occupational,
> I'm capable of carrying a grudge cross-generational,
> In short I can assure you that I more than live up to the hype
> Of being the very model of an Anti-Hero Archetype.
> 
> SLYTHERINS:
> In short we can assure you that he more than lives up to the hype
> Of being the very model of an Anti-Hero Archetype.
> 
> SNAPE:
> In fact, when we discover the true history behind the Prank,
> And learn the real reasons for my quitting the Death Eater ranks,
> And why I knew Dark Magic by the time I first showed up at school,
> And whether I'll make Dumbledore look like a genius or a fool,
> And if Karkaroff mentored me the way he mentors Victor Krum,
> And if I ever really had a crush on Harry Potter's mum,
> In short, when Jo reveals the truth behind my nastiness and rage,
> You'll say a better archetype has never stalked across a page.
> 
> SLYTHERINS:
> In short, when Jo reveals the truth behind his nastiness and rage,
> You'll say a better archetype has never stalked across a page.
> 
> SNAPE:
> I'm  complicated and intense, heroic and despicable,
> My motives are so twisted, some would say they're inexplicable,
> In short I can assure you that I more than live up to the hype
> Of being the very model of an Anti-Hero Archetype.
> 
> SLYTHERINS:
> In short, we can assure you that he more than lives up to the hype
> Of being the very model of an Anti-Hero Archetype!
> 
> 
> Marina
> rusalka at i...