Lupin's relationship with Harry

[grandisiowa]

No: HPFGUIDX 32480

VERY thought provoking this. 

> I've recently reread PoA and there's something that's been bothering 
> me. Is Harry hurt that Lupin doesn't attempt to reach out to him like 
> Sirius has? They were both one of his dad's best friends, so does he 
> ever wonder why Lupin just doesn't seem to care as much? 

Lupin is a werewolf. He might perceive himself as dangerous. Because of 
his condition, he has been living a hand to mouth existence. He would 
want to be part of Harry's life, but might wonder if that is a wise 
idea. I think he cares very much about Harry. He is just not as 
effusive as Sirius. I think Sirius' emotions control him basically, 
while Lupin tries very hard to control his emotions. They are very 
different personalities, and a lovely study in contrasts.

Does Lupin care as much as Sirius? Absolutely. It might be a difference 
in the characters' personalities.

Another factor involved is the teacher element. I know that there are 
extenuating circumstances in this teacher student relationship, but 
there are certain obligations about being a teacher, and how you should 
behave. You guessed it, I'm a teacher. I work at a community college. 
Sometimes I become friends with my students, but only after they are 
done with their course of study with me. Why? Well, there's a power 
relationship involved, and it's best to be cautious about that sort of 
thing. So Lupin may hesitate about reaching out to Harry because of 
that as well.

Sirius sends 
> Harry birthday presents and invites Harry to live with him, so why 
> doesn't Lupin? I understand that the latter would probably be 
> impossible considering the werewolf problem, but would it be so hard 
> to send Harry a present? 

Money. Lupin hasn't had any money. He is very, very poor, because of 
the werewolf thing. We can only assume he doesn't have a family 
fortune, and has been forced to make his way in the world. Ergo, again, 
while the desire to send Harry presents might be there, difficulties 
present themselves. 

And just one more thing.. was Lupin ever a 
> bit miffed at James for making Sirius best man and godfather to 
> Harry? I have to say that if I were in his position, I'd be a bit 
> jealous.

This is a good point for consideration. Certainly, Sirius and James 
were BEST friends from all indication, and that might be why James 
chose Sirius. Remus could have understood this, or this could have 
really hurt. 

>From a pragmatic viewpoint, there's that werewolf thing again. I can 
imagine that James and Lily would like Remus to be involved in Harry's 
life, but to have Remus take care of Harry should something happen to 
them might not be wisest for both Harry and Remus.

I would really like to know (rather than speculate :) ) Remus' 
psychology. I find him a fascinating and complex character, full of 
reserve, and twists. Sirius, in spite of his tragedy, wears his 
emotions on his sleeve. We're never quite sure what Remus is thinking 
or why.

Thank you for such a thought provoking message.

Catherine