Lupin's inferiority complex

[charisjulia]

No: HPFGUIDX 32618

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "grandisiowa" <cstump at k...> wrote:
> VERY thought provoking this. 
> 
> > I've recently reread PoA and there's something that's been 
bothering 
> > me. Is Harry hurt that Lupin doesn't attempt to reach out to him 
like 
> > Sirius has? They were both one of his dad's best friends, so does 
he 
> > ever wonder why Lupin just doesn't seem to care as much? 
> 
> Lupin is a werewolf. He might perceive himself as dangerous. 
Because of 
> his condition, he has been living a hand to mouth existence. He 
would 
> want to be part of Harry's life, but might wonder if that is a wise 
> idea. I think he cares very much about Harry. He is just not as 
> effusive as Sirius. I think Sirius' emotions control him basically, 
> while Lupin tries very hard to control his emotions. They are very 
> different personalities, and a lovely study in contrasts.
> 
> Does Lupin care as much as Sirius? Absolutely. It might be a 
difference 
> in the characters' personalities.
> 
> > And just one more thing.. was Lupin ever a 
> > bit miffed at James for making Sirius best man and godfather to 
> > Harry? I have to say that if I were in his position, I'd be a bit 
> > jealous.
> 
> This is a good point for consideration. Certainly, Sirius and James 
> were BEST friends from all indication, and that might be why James 
> chose Sirius. Remus could have understood this, or this could have 
> really hurt. 
> 
> > I would really like to know (rather than speculate :) ) Remus' 
> psychology. I find him a fascinating and complex character, full of 
> reserve, and twists. Sirius, in spite of his tragedy, wears his 
> emotions on his sleeve. We're never quite sure what Remus is 
thinking 
> or why.
> 
    I absolutely agree with you. Lupin is definitely a very 
complicated character and one whose reactions are very hard to 
interpret. Reserve and self-control seem to be his mottos as far as 
interaction with others is concerned and this can not only explain 
why he hasn't reached out more openly to Harry, but also why his 
friendship with James might have been a fraction less close than that 
of James and Sirius.
    Lupin has been stigmatized by his werewolfhood. For him it must 
be something ever present, never to be forgotten, even pushed aside 
for a while, something that touches him every day of the month and 
not only when the moon is full. I at least have been given the 
impression that it is the major factor in his life against which he 
measures everything else.
    And he definitely isn't proud of it. In fact his attitude towards 
his werewolfness, by extent towards himself, is disgust. At the end 
of PoA at least Harry notices the self-loathing in Lupin's voice as 
he talks of what he is. Later on he plainly states that he is a 
hazard to the school. If this is the way he looks on himself, is it 
not natural that he would never allow himself to get too close to 
anyone believing that in that way he would be doing damage to himself 
by reaching out for things (he believes) he cannot have and to than 
other person by associating them with a werewolf?
    When Sirius admits to Lupin that he did suspect him of being V. 
spy (by the way I think it states it plainly in the book that S. did 
think this. He even apologizes to Remus for doing so. Answer to 
Janett "Plus Sirius was the>first choice in being secret keeper. Did 
they really not trust Remus because he was a werewolf?") 
Lupin takes it impressively well. Doesn't he mind at all? I think 
Lupin views himself as standing alone in the world. He is always 
expecting rejection even from his friends. He is shut out not only by 
the barrier of distrust and prejudice everyone else has set up 
against him, but also by one he has set up against the world. That is 
not to say that he can't handle having friends- he plainly loved that-
 but I don't think he would allow anyone to develop a "greatest 
friend of all" relationship with him. His feelings of guilt and shame 
would always hold him back.
    Having said all of this let me explain that I do not believe that 
we (the readers) have been let to get carried away about how tight a 
group the Marauder's were. I think they were great friends even 
including Peter. After all, Sirius says that any one of the others 
would have given his life for Peter. That's no small thing, is it? 
However it does seem to me that of his three best friends Sirius was 
James's "bestest" and this might be due to a number of factors (maybe 
they really did know each other before Hogwarts) but also to Remus's 
aforementioned complexes.
    Perhaps there was some deterioration towards the end. They knew 
that one of them was the spy and that would have made them all 
suspicious of each other. However I'd like to think that they all 
willed for the other to be innocent. Remus definitely hated it when 
he thought that Sirius was the spy (" or thought I knew him") and 
Sirius seems greatly remorseful that he ever suspected Remus. It is a 
mark of how strong their friendship really was that when all the 
misunderstandings have been cleared up they immediately embrace like 
brothers and stand put it behind them.
                                                Charis Julia