TBAY: There's Nothing Like SUCCESS

[Edblanning at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 41076

Returning once more to the Castle, Eloise's attention was attracted by the 
fragrant smoke billowing through the open French windows (Les Fenetres, as 
Diana seems to think she should call them) of the drawing room.
'A visitor?' she wondered and her suspicions were confirmed as she saw the 
unfeasibly long, blonde plaits which trailed over the back of the deeply 
upholstered sofa.
'Porphyria! Nice to see you. I... um.... see you've replenished Diana's 
incense supplies. I haven't smelled that one before.'
Porphyria looked oddly nervous.
'No, it's a new one.'
'And yet it seems strangely familiar.'
'No, I don't think so....'
'Yes. There's definitely something there. Something else. Something you're 
trying to cover up.....'
'I don't know what......'
'It's the sweet smell of SUCCESS, isn't it? Come on, where is he?'

SUCCESS (Snape, Unfortunately Comatose, Couldn't Ensure Stone's Safety), as 
some may remember, is a small, but exceptionally cuddly and helpful (and 
sweet-smelling) little theory which explains Snape's odd absence at the end 
of PS/SS. Snape couldn't chase after Quirrell because Quirrell had nobbled 
him (that's British slang for what you do to race horses, BTW. If you want 
them to lose, that is). A potion in the Pumpkin juice, or something of that 
ilk. Whether Snape actually drinks pumpkin juice is another matter. Strong 
coffee, tea or some other mildly addictive stimulant have been suggested. Or 
it could, I suppose, be blood, if you're that way inclined. There are also 
some variations in theory as to who the culprit was. Some find it just too 
pathetic to think of Snape being outwitted by Quirrell like that and 
implicate Dumbledore (a version I find it hard to make work), whereas the 
McGonnagal variation has a fair bit to be said for it. *If* she's evil. What 
am I saying? I founded the OFH, for goodness sake! Oops, that was close.

Where was I? Yes, SUCCESS. Well, small and cuddly and sweet-smelling as he 
is, he is not usually allowed in the drawing room.

'Where is he, Porphyria?'
Porphyria put on her best innocent face.
'I don't know.'
'She'sh got 'im 'ind 'er back' came a rather muffled voice from deep within 
an armchair behind Eloise. 
Eloise swung round round. Diana was slumped in the chair, obviously overcome 
by the strength of the scented smoke.

'Porphyria.......'
Porphyria resignedly pulled out the plump cushion she had been leaning 
against which turned out not to be a plump cushion, after all, but SUCCESS, 
stuffed into purple velvet sack. At least the girl had a sense of style.

Eloise released the poor creature, who clung to her like his mother, which in 
a sense she was, quivering with fear, his normally long lush black fur 
completely dishevelled.
'What *have* you done to him?' she screeched.

'She'sh been int...interro....ashking him queshtions,' said Diana, 
accidentally knocking over the empty champagne flute on the table next to 
her. Aah. *Not* the smoke, then. Eloise made a mental note to ask Diana's 
physician brother, George, whether St Mungo's had a de-tox programme.

'What kind of questions?'
SUCCESS looked up at her, his big, appealing brown eyes sparkling waterily. 
Although small and furry, his command of English was exceptional.
'Questions that call into question my whole being. Questions which suggest 
that I don't even *exist*,' he piped in a tremulous voice.

'I *did* apologise,' said Porphyria, defensively. 'I even called him 
"lovely".'

'It's all very well to call someone "lovely", but that's not of much comfort 
to them when they're about to vanish in a puff of logic, now, is it?'

SUCCESS decided to make a direct appeal, lunging for the hem of Porphyria's 
robes as he did so.
'Remember Tinkerbell! I can't exist if no-one believes in me! Say you do! Say 
you believe in fairies, I mean, in exceptionally cuddly, helpful, furry and 
sweet-smelling theories! PLEESE'

Porphyria averted her eyes and produced a large file which she handed to 
Eloise. 
'I'm sorry,' she said, but I don't think I can.'

Eloise took the folder and read the contents, a long and closely argued case 
which demonstrated that if Snape were really pretending to Voldemort be an 
agent in deep cover, a theory which she had herself espoused, then it was 
impossible for him to go after Quirrell in such a way as could provoke 
Voldemort into revealing himself and forcing Snape either to co-operate or to 
reveal himself as his enemy.

'I see.' She looked sadly at the trembling wreck who had returned to her 
feet. 'Yet there might be hope. Does it *really* matter if Voldemort 
confronts him? Isn't it to Dumbledore's advantage if Snape gets the 
opportunity to affirm his 'loyalty' to Voldemort? If he makes out the case 
that he thought Quirrell was being disloyal to Voldemort, that he was out for 
himself? He is supposed to be in *deep* cover, after all and Voldemort isn't 
ready to make his return yet. As you suggest, it might be an advantage to him 
to have someone placed in such a strategic position. Are you *sure* that he 
couldn't have talked his way out of such an encounter, possibly even taken 
advantage of it? Anyway,' she threw in weakly, as a last ditch effort, 
'Quirrell still might not have wanted to take the risk.'

Porphyria didn't look convinced, though she was evidently moved by SUCCESS's 
plight.

'Let's have a drink and talk it over.'
'Drink?' said the voice from the armchair.
'Not you, Diana. SUCCESS, perhaps you'll get them will you?' said Eloise with 
a meaningful look. 
SUCCESS nodded and bounded purposefully over to Diana's drinks cabinet, 
returning with two glasses of single malt containing just the right amount of 
Highland spring water.
'This is nice,' said Porphyria, 'Have I had this one before?'
'No, definitely not,' said Eloise, watching with satisfaction as the sleeping 
draught which SUCCESS had subtly slipped into her glass took rapid effect.

'No such thing as SUCCESS, indeed!'

Eloise

For an explanation of the acronyms and theories in this post, visit
Hypothetic Alley at 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/files/Admin20Files/hypothe
ticalley.htm 

and Inish Alley at 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/database?
method=reportRows&tbl=13



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