[HPforGrownups] Comforting!Ron, Lying!Harry

[Amy Z]

No: HPFGUIDX 39312

Penny wrote:

>Figuring out that Harry might want to play Quidditch was just an 
> >instinctive guess based probably on Ron's desire to let off some steam 
> >in a physical way.  I think we're meant to know that Hermione doesn't 
> >get it; this is underlining that males react to stress differently >than 
>females.  Big surprise.  :--)  Mind you, this doesn't make it any >less 
>what Harry needed at that moment, but I'm not sure I'd term Ron's >action 
>as "comfort" per se.  Maybe we're operating under a different >definition 
>of "comfort" is all.  When you originally said that Ron was >someone who'd 
>demonstrated an ability to give & receive "comfort," I >had an immediate 
>mental image of something very different than what's >been suggested so 
>far.  I think I'm thinking of comfort more in the >sense of how Hermione 
>responds to Neville after Moody's class or how >Sirius responds to Harry 
>when Harry's just seen the dragons or, most >classic, how Molly responds to 
>Harry in the hospital wing post-Voldy >rebirth.  I suppose that explains my 
>reaction of "Huh?  Ron, a great >comforter?"  :--)

Well, I think it shows that you, along with Hermione and probably 90% of 
women, myself included, find hugs and sympathetic listenings more comforting 
than "hey, I know, let's play ball."  But within the context of Harry's 
feelings, Ron's suggestion of Quidditch is as sensitive as Hermione's toast 
offering:  both pick up on what he needs right then and offer it without any 
prying or pride in their own sensitivity.  Both are comforting because of 
their effect.  I have the same associations with the word "comfort" as you 
do, but they assume that typically female models of comfort are the true 
ones, which is unjustified, nay, sexist.

It is really unfair to conclude that Ron just wants to play Quidditch 
himself--what in canon suggests that this is the case?  We know that Harry 
finds Quidditch a great release when he's worried, and presumably Ron knows 
it too.  If it's instinctive, great--he should keep listening to those 
instincts.

BTW, and off on a tangent, does anyone else want to know whether Harry 
quakes at the thought of playing with/against the legendary Charlie Weasley? 
  Or whether Ron's a bit intimidated about playing with all these varsity 
Quidditch players, even if they *are* just his brothers and best friend?

>Has he lied to Hermione?

Yes, about figuring out the Egg.  But:

>He sort of lied by omission to them both though, didn't he?

Yes, more than once.  He doesn't tell them about his wand being linked to 
Voldemort's (in "Weighing of the Wands," GF, it says he's never told 
anyone); he doesn't tell them what the Hat said to him and all his 
subsequent fears that he belongs in Slytherin in CS; he doesn't tell them 
about hearing his mother's voice for quite some time in PA.  Naturally there 
are lots of things people just happen not to tell their best friends, but 
these are important items, and in each case the text calls our attention to 
the fact that Harry hasn't confided in Ron and Hermione.  I wouldn't call 
any of it *lying*, but it does point up the limits of his trust.

This thread seems to be an echo of the "is one of them a bester friend than 
the other" question from a couple of weeks ago, and no, I can't say that 
Harry's markedly more honest with Ron than with Hermione.  It's not as if he 
lies to Hermione on a regular basis.

Amy

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