TBAY: Minerva McGonagall Is Ever So Evil!

[ssk7882]

No: HPFGUIDX 39470

Elkins was out for a little walk in the forest when she noticed Cindy 
standing just a few yards off the path, staring contemplatively up 
into the highest branches of some nearby trees.

Cindy was musing:

> That means that *someone* has to betray Dumbledore, and that 
> someone must have Dumbledore's trust (so that they can get the drop 
> on him) and must be capable of killing him. . . .The only person 
> who can bring down Dumbledore is someone who has his trust and uses 
> that trust to stab him in the back.

> So who does Dumbledore trust enough to let his guard down? It's a 
> fairly short list, I think...

Always up for a spot of hedgehog-watching herself, Elkins threw her 
head back and began scanning the tops of the trees.  She thought that 
she could see a faint mammalian shape up there somewhere, but without 
her omnioculors, she couldn't be certain precisely who it might be.  
So she listened in silence while Cindy considered the merits of 
Snape, and of Moody, and of McGonagall, and of Hagrid, and of Sirius, 
and of Remus, and of...

Elkins frowned.  Hold on.  There was something odd about that shape 
up there, wasn't there?  Something...

She blinked.  The hedgehog in the high tree above her was smiling.  
Grinning, really.  And it didn't even look all that much like a 
hedgehog anymore, come to think of it.  It was beginning to look more 
like...like...

As Elkins watched, the hedgehog-that-did-not-much-resemble-a-hedgehog 
slowly faded from view.  

Only its smile remained behind.

"Cindy," Elkins said softly.  "Cindy?  Uh, could you go back to 
Number Three again for just a minute please?"


---------------


Cindy:

> 3. McGonagall. Uh, no. She couldn't even ward off Crouch Jr.'s 
> dementor. 

Well, really, Cindy!  She wouldn't have *wanted* to ward off Crouch 
Jr.'s dementor if she was a follower of Voldemort's, now, would she?  

You think that little Barty "Oh, how I hate all those Death Eaters 
who walked free" Crouch wouldn't have ratted her out to the Ministry, 
given half a chance? You think that little Barty "No, Daddy, please 
save me, I just can't stand all of these scary dementors" Crouch 
wouldn't have tried to offer the ministry a little deal, if he 
thought that it might cut back his prison sentence by a year or two?  
You think that McGonagall was willing to take the chance that the 
next time someone loaded little Barty up with a mouthful of 
veritaserum, they wouldn't think to ask him anything about *her?* 

Hah!

If you ask me, the happiest moment in Minerva McGonagall's *life* was 
the moment that she first realized that Fudge's Dementor was going in 
for the Kiss.  In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she stumbled right 
*into* Snape, just to make sure that he wouldn't have time to do 
anything to stop what was about to happen.  Even if Snape did suspect 
that she'd done it on purpose, he'd never be able to convince 
Dumbledore of that fact.  Not after that amazing impersonation of 
Flustered Woman Who Can't Keep Her Head In A Crisis that McGonagall 
pulled off, with all of her shrieking and trembling and flushing and 
fist-balling and disarrayed hair and the like.

"Ward off Crouch Jr's dementor."  

<snort>  

Yeah.  Like McGonagall would really have wanted to do *that.*


Boy.  You know, I'd figured that ever since Porphyria's j'accuse a 
few weeks ago, we'd all just accepted as a matter of general 
*consensus* that Minerva McGonagall Was Ever So Evil.

But clearly I was wrong about that.  So let's just take a look at all 
of the canonical evidence stacked up against dear Minerva, shall we?

Porphyria listed a number of suspicious things about McGonagall in 
message #38783:

> Is McGonagall Ever so Evil? Is that why she goes around wearing 
> Slytherin colors all the time, even though Snape himself rarely 
> bothers? Is that why she didn't warn Dumbledore in PS/SS after 
> Harry accosted her, convinced the Stone was in jeopardy? I bet she 
> finagled to buy him that Firebolt to get him on the Quidditch team 
> early so that Quirrell would have his shot at jinxing him off of 
> it. Yeah, she was in league with Q-man all along! And she really 
> wants Trelawney discredited, doesn't she? Maybe it's to keep people 
> from believing her *next* true prediction!

> Oh, yeah, I'm onto her. She's the one who can turn into a cat and 
> creep around the school late at night. Spying on Harry, no doubt.  
> Wait -- didn't she go to school with Tom Riddle? Maybe they were 
> lovers! Hang on: she's tall and thin and has black hair, just like 
> Tom -- maybe they're cousins! Or for those of you who like it 
> juicy, maybe they were both. >:-D


All of which is certainly compelling enough.  

For *starters.*

Because you see, there's more evidence than just that.  There's a 
*lot* more evidence.


For one thing, there's her behavior right after the third task.  
Crouch Jr. wasn't the only person at Hogwarts who seemed terribly 
keen to lure Harry out of sight of Albus Dumbledore that night, you 
know.  McGonagall gave it a shot as well.

In fact, she tried to get Harry away from Dumbledore the instant that 
Crouch/Moody had been taken out of the action.  She, Snape and 
Dumbledore barge into Fake!Moody's office.  Fake!Moody is stupefied.  
Dumbledore kicks him onto his back and starts pulling his scary "the 
gloves are coming off now" Do Not Anger The Powerful Wizard routine.  
Snape stares intriguingly at himself in the Foe-Glass.  And what does 
McGonagall do?

>From _GoF, Ch. 35:

"Professor McGonagall went straight to Harry.

'Come along, Potter,' she whispered.  The thin line of her mouth was 
twitching as though she was about to cry.  'Come along...hospital 
wing...'

'No,' said Dumbledore sharply.

'Dumbledore, he ought to -- look at him -- he's been through enough 
tonight--'

'He will stay, Minerva, because he needs to understand,' said 
Dumbledore curtly."


Oh well.  At least she gave it her best shot, right?  

She looks as if she's about to cry, eh?  Yeah, no kidding.  I'd look 
as if I were about to cry too, I think, if I'd just had the sort of 
terrible disappointment that Evil!McGonagall just suffered in that 
graveyard, and if Dumbledore wasn't going to allow me to curry my 
Dark Master's favor by delivering Harry up to him myself, and if on 
top of all of that, my idiot colleague was likely to be ratting me 
out to all of my enemies in a matter of only a few minutes.

If she looks as if she's about to cry when Crouch is thwarted, 
though, that's nothing compared to how she looks after they feed him 
the veritaserum.  She looks positively *sick* when that happens.  And 
really, who can blame her?

Boy, though, what a relief when Dumbledore asked *her,* rather than, 
say, Snape, to be the one to stand guard over Crouch, eh?


>From _GoF,_ Ch. 36:

"'Minerva, could I ask you to stand guard here while I take Harry 
upstairs?'

'Of course,' said Professor McGonagall.  She looked slighty nauseous, 
as though she had just watched someone being sick.  However, when she 
drew out her wand and pointed it at Barty Crouch, her hand was quite 
steady."


I'll bet it was.  

I'm telling you, Fudge's showing up with that Dementor was the best 
thing that ever happened to McGonagall.  She'd been standing there 
over Crouch racking her brains to try to think of some way to 
ensure his silence that wouldn't cast suspicion right back on her -- 
should she claim that he had tried to escape, perhaps?  No, no, 
Severus would see right through that one.  Well, okay, a memory charm 
perhaps? -- and then along came Fudge with his Dementor and solved 
all of her problems for her.  What a relief!  But a bad moment there 
for a minute as well, I'm sure.  As a general rule, I don't think 
that secret DEs feel at all comfortable with Dementors.  In fact, 
she's in quite the state when she tells Dumbledore about what 
happened, isn't she?  You think that's fury?  That's not fury.  
That's terror comingled with profound relief.  That's a post-
adrenaline rush "there but for the grace of God went I" moment, which 
she then Ever So Cleverly exploits to lend credence to her whole 
Flustered Woman act.



Still not convinced that Minerva McGonagall Is Ever So Evil?  No?  
Not even after all of that?

Well, okay.  How about we look at her appearance in the very first 
chapter of the very first book then?


First off, McGonagall's very appearance on Privet Drive that morning 
is *highly* suspicious.  Just what precisely is she doing there, 
anyway?  She implies that she has been waiting there for Dumbledore --
 and yet she keeps herself hidden from him, only revealing herself 
once he makes it clear that he knows perfectly well that she is 
there.  She claims that Hagrid was the one who told her that he would 
be there -- but only after Dumbledore himself first suggests that 
possibility to her, and she changes the subject very quickly 
thereafter.  She waits outside of the house on Privet Drive *all day 
long,* even though it seems clear that Hagrid and Dumbledore had 
prearranged to meet there only after nightfall.  Wouldn't Hagrid have 
mentioned that fact to her, if he had really been the one to tell her 
that she could find Dumbledore at 4 Privet Drive?  And when Hagrid 
finally shows up, he says absolutely nothing which supports her claim 
that she had spoken to him earlier that day.  No "Oh, Professor 
McGonagall, found the place all right, then?"  Nothing like that.

And when precisely would McGonagall have spoken to Hagrid, anyway?

It wasn't at Godric's Hollow.  She is surprised to learn that Hagrid 
has been entrusted with the infant Harry.

It couldn't have been after Godric's Hollow for the same reason.  
Also, she arrived at Privet Drive early enough in the day for Vernon 
Dursley to see her on his way to work that morning.

And if it were *before* Godric's Hollow, then why on earth wouldn't 
she have spoken to Dumbledore earlier that day?  She is addressed 
as "Professor," so presumably she already works at Hogwarts.  
Couldn't she have spoken to him there, or sought him out wherever he 
spent the rest of the day, rather than hanging some miserable suburb 
all day long just to wait to talk to him?

No.  I think that she's lying.  I don't believe that she came to 
Privet Drive because Hagrid told her that she could find Albus 
Dumbledore there.  In fact, I don't believe that she came to Privet 
Drive to speak with Dumbledore at all.

For one thing, just witness her response when Dumbledore first 
arrives:

"A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so 
suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the 
ground.  The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed."

Now, I have two cats.  And I have to tell you: tail-twitching and eye-
narrowing is absolutely *not* how cats express pleasure at seeing 
someone they have been waiting all day to have a nice chat with.  
When cats twitch their tails and narrow their eyes, that is an 
expression of aggression, anxiety, or predatory intent.  It is not 
friendly cat behavior.

In fact, given that this particular cat is actually a witch in cat 
form, I would go so far as to say that she reacts to Dumbledore's 
appearance with outright *hatred.*



And what does she do then?  Does she resume her human form so that 
she can speak with this man she has supposedly been waiting for all 
day long?  Does she greet him, as one might expect?

No.  She does not.  She lurks in the shadows, watching him 
carefully.  She does not reveal herself to him until he leaves her no 
other choice:


"Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer back inside his cloak and set off 
down the street towards number four, where he sat down on the wall 
next to the cat.  He didn't look at it, but after a moment he spoke 
to it.

'Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall.'

He turned to smile at the tabby, but it had gone.  Instead he was 
smiling at a rather severe-looking woman who was wearing square 
glasses exactly in the shape of the markings the cat had had around 
its eyes.  She, too, was wearing a cloak, an emerald one.  Her black 
hair was drawn into a tight bun.  She looked distinctly ruffled.

'How did you know it was me?' she asked."


Note the Slytherin green outfit.

Note also that McGonagall is apparently surprised to learn that 
Dumbledore can recognize her in her animagus form.  But the specific 
forms of registered animagi are a matter of public record! Hermione 
looks them up in _PoA._  So are we meant to understand that 
McGonagall was not, in fact, even *registered* at this point in 
time?  Was her animaga status her own little secret? Does McGonagall 
have a criminal past?



Nearly the entire wizarding world has been celebrating Voldemort's 
downfall all day long. People are ecstatic about what has happened.  
But McGonagall isn't.  She is *furious,* although she tries to mask 
her fury as irritation with the celebrants' lack of prudence:


"'When could you have been celebrating?  I must have passed a dozen 
feasts and parties on my way here.'

Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily.

'Oh yes, everyone's celebrating all right,' she said impatiently."


"Angrily."  Yeah, I'll bet she's angry.  



McGonagall is disdainful to the point of contempt when it comes to 
Muggles:

"'You'd think they'd be a bit more careful, but no -- even the 
Muggles have noticed something's going on.  It was on their news.'  
She jerked her head back at the Dursleys' dark living-room 
window.  'I heard it.  Flocks of owls...shooting stars...Well, they're
not completely stupid.'"



Her agenda once she is speaking to Dumbledore is to pump him for 
information about Voldemort's rumored fall.  She seems particularly 
desperate to learn whether it is really true that Voldemort has been 
vanquished:


"'People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad 
daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumours.'

She threw a sharp, sideways glance at Dumbledore here, as though 
hoping he was going to tell her something, but he didn't, so she went 
on: 'A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-WHo seems 
to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all.  I 
suppose he really *has* gone, Dumbledore?'"


Dumbledore tries to put her off again and again, but McGonagall is 
not to be dissuaded by any of his diversionary tactics.  She loftily 
ignores his attempt to distract her with sherbet lemons and 
immediately returns to her interrogation ("As I say, even if You-Know-
Who *has* gone--").  She also refuses to allow herself to be side-
tracked into a conversation about the value of referring to Voldemort 
by name, although she *does* flinch when Dumbledore speaks it aloud --
just exactly as Pettigrew will later do at the sound of his master's 
name in the Shrieking Shack.

Although it is perfectly obvious that McGonagall's interest in this 
conversation lies in her burning desire to know whether or not 
Voldemort has truly been defeated -- and if so, if it was truly Harry 
Potter who was responsible -- the narrative voice chooses to make 
this fact *explicit* -- just in case the reader somehow missed it:


"Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said, 'The 
owls are nothing to the *rumours* that are flying around.  You know 
what everyone's saying?  About why he's disappeared?  About what 
finally stopped him?'

It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was 
most anxious to discuss, the real reason she had been waiting on a 
cold hard wall all day, for neither as a cat nor as a woman had she 
fixed Dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she did now."


Boy.  Jo sure didn't want us to miss that, huh?  It's *important* to 
the author that the reader understand how very anxious McGonagall is 
to learn the truth of this matter, as well as to note that she goes 
about trying to get this information out of Dumbledore in an oddly 
indirect fashion.  It is absolutely essential that the reader 
understand this.


Although she affects shock and grief when she learns that the Potters 
are dead, McGonagall's voice only actually begins to *tremble* when 
she approaches the possibility that voldemort may truly have been 
unable to kill Harry, and that his powers have now been broken.  It 
is only when she gains confirmation of this fact that she actually
"falters:"

"'It's--it's *true?*' faltered Professor McGonagall.  'After all he's 
done...all the people he's killed...he couldn't kill a little boy?  
It's just astounding...of all the things to stop him...but how in the 
name of heaven did Harry survive?'"

Notice how quickly she corrects herself from her initial estimation 
of Voldemort's power ("after all he's done") to one more in keeping 
with a position of emnity towards Voldemort's cause ("all the people 
he's killed").

It is only after she is assured that indeed, it is true that 
Voldemort is gone that McGonagall actually begins to weep.



Oh, no.  I don't trust that Minerva McGonagall.  I do not trust her 
at all.



There are also strange off-notes in McGonagall's characterization in 
this scene. Nowhere else in canon does McGonagall fawn.  She is not 
the sycophantic type.  But she certainly does fawn all over Albus 
Dumbledore in this scene.  It's actually quite disgusting:

"'Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know -- oh, all right, 
*Voldemort* -- was frightened of.'"

'You flatter me,' said Dumbledore calmly.  'Voldemort had powers I 
will never have.'

'Only because you're too -- well -- *noble* to use them.'"


Oh, ick.  "Oh, Albus.  You're so *noble!*"  Blech.  Ugh.  It does 
seem grotesquely out of character for the ordinarily brisk and 
sensible McGonagall, doesn't it?  For her to start *simpering* like 
that?

But of course, she may have very good reasons for wanting to suck up 
to old Albus here. Voldemort's gone, and his Death Eaters have 
probably already started turning themselves in to the Ministry in 
droves, claiming that they've been under the Imperius Curse.  
McGonagall's got to be getting pretty nervous right about now.  And 
as we've seen with Snape, Dumbledore makes a very powerful protector.

I also find myself wondering about all of that "too noble to use all 
the powers at your disposal" stuff.  Just how long has McGonagall 
been feeding Dumbledore that line, anyway?  From the very start, 
perhaps?  Might that not in fact have been one of her *jobs?*  
To try to ensure that no matter how ugly the conflict might become, 
Dumbledore would continue to place limits on his own actions?  To try 
to subvert and weaken the enemy? 


And you think that *Snape* is the likely Big Shock Betrayer of this 
series?

Nah.  Snape betraying Dumbledore wouldn't be a shocker.  McGonagall, 
though? Now, wouldn't that be something.  Not Dumbledore's left-hand, 
but his right-hand. Not the head of House Slytherin, but the head of 
House Gryffindor.  Not the Designated Red Herring, but instead the 
very first member of the wizarding world that the reader ever *met?*

Now *that* would be a shocker.  *That* would be betrayal.  And not 
just for Dumbledore himself, but for everyone: Harry, Snape, all of 
House Gryffindor. And particularly for Hermione, of course.  
Hermione, who has that protege/mentor thing going with our dear 
Minerva.

Yup.  Yup.

<Elkins nods, satisfied>

Minerva McGonagall.

Foreshadowed As Ever So Evil From The Very First Chapter Of The Very 
First Book.



-- Elkins, who will happily exchange her SUCCESS: the Dumbledore 
Variation for a whomping big glass of SUCCESS: the McGonagall 
Variation; and who also wonders whether she has earned an honorary 
membership in the OHF for firing so very many big canons up into the 
tree-tops, even if she was aiming them at Porphyria's hedgehog.