TBAY: Minerva McGonagall Is Ever So Evil!

[cindysphynx]

No: HPFGUIDX 39495

> "Cindy," Elkins said softly.  "Cindy?  Uh, could you go back to 
> Number Three again for just a minute please?"

Don't mind if I do!

Yeah, I should have listened to Porphyria when she first started 
knocking back that Kool-Aid and told me straight up that McGonagall 
was Ever So Evil.  I didn't *want* to believe, that's what it was.  
I feel like such a *sucker*!

But it is even worse than Porphyria said.  It is even worse than 
*Elkins* said.  McGonagall's Evil Little Fingerprints are all over 
the plot to restore Voldemort to power!

First up, look what McGonagall teaches Harry.  This is *Harry* we're 
talking about, the baby who defeated Lord Voldemort, the wizard who 
may be called upon to save the wizarding world itself.  Is 
McGonagall teaching him the Animagus transformation or how to 
Apparate -- skills that might save the boy's life?  

Heck no!  She is teaching him how to turn beetles into buttons, 
needles into matches, porcupines into pin-cushions.  And what 
exactly is Harry to do with these oh-so formidable Transfiguration 
skills?  "Hang on, Lord Voldemort!  Once I change this match into a 
needle, I am going to *prick* you to death!"  

At the end of 4 years, the boy knows next to nothing about 
Transfiguration, and we have McGonagall to thank for that.  She 
actually gets *paid* for this?  

Yeah, she'll get paid all right.  She'll be honored above all other 
*Death Eaters*, that's how she'll be paid!

Need more proof?  How about a *direct link* between McGonagall and 
Fake Moody?  Before the Third Task, McGonagall, Fake Moody, Hagrid 
and Flitwick are stationed outside the maze.  McGonagall says, "We 
are going to be patrolling the outside of the maze."  And how does 
Fake Moody describe his mission that night:  "You had an easier time 
of it than you should have in that maze tonight, of course . . . I 
was patrolling around it, able to see through the outer 
hedges . . . "

Did you catch that?  McGonagall had the same marching orders as Fake 
Moody:  "*patrolling*" the maze!  Now, what are the odds that 
McGonagall and Fake Moody used the word "patrolling" out of sheer 
coincidence?  It sounds like they might have had a little 
conversation to work out what they were going to do, doesn't it?  

Geez, the two of them didn't even *try* to hide their little 
conspiracy, did they?  Who staged a "loud conversation" with Fake 
Moody to tip Dobby off about the gillyweed?  Right in one!  Minerva, 
that's who!  I can just *see* the two of them practically yelling in 
their fake stage voices, their hands cupped around their mouths, 
ennunciating their words ever-so-clearly to make sure Dobby didn't 
miss a word of it.

You know what else?  That McGonagall couldn't keep her nose out of 
places where it doesn't belong in GoF, and she proved herself to be 
a bit of a control freak, if truth be told.  "Tired of walking in on 
Harry, Hermione, and Ron all over the school, Professor McGonagall 
had given them permission to use the empty Transfiguration classroom 
at lunchtime."  

Huh?  What is she doing snooping all over the school, following 
Harry as he tries to prepare for the Third Task, anyway?  I'll tell 
you what she is doing.  She is monitoring Harry's progress to make 
sure he *wins* and is whipped straight to her Evil Master.  Yup, she 
is so gung-ho to help Harry that she looks the other way when he is 
receiving unauthorized assistance from Hermione, the brightest 
student in the whole school!  Anything to bring home that Triwizard 
Cup for Hogwarts, eh Minerva?

No, she wasn't leaving *anything* to chance, was she?  The hostages 
were placed into a bewitched sleep in *McGonagall's* office, weren't 
they?  Boy, that's some power play, isn't it?  Minerva has no 
official role to play in the tournament, but there she is, dictating 
where and with whom Harry practices, making sure the hostages are 
brought to her office.  Nah, she has no official role other than to 
*keep an eye on things on behalf of her Evil Overlord!*

You know how badly McGonagall had you all fooled?  Look at Crouch 
Jr.'s confession:  "I offered to carry the Triwizard Cup into the 
maze before dinner . . . Turned it into a Portkey."

Well, look at that!  He never says *he* turned it into a Portkey, 
does he?  Oh, sure, when Crouch Jr. talks about transfiguring his 
dead father into a bone, he is quite explicit:  "I Transfigured my 
father's body."  But when he talks about the Portkey, he suddenly 
drops a personal pronoun, doesn't he?  Well, there's a reason for 
that.  He probably had a little help with that Portkey, don't you 
think?  Help from a certain *Transfiguration Teacher* I could name.

Don't even get me *started* on a witch who thinks formal attire 
ought to include a hat with "a rather ugly wreath of 
thistles."  'Cause that is just plain Evil!

Cindy (trying to remember that there are two "L"s in "McGonagall" 
but only one "L" in "Evil")