TBAY: Minerva McGonagall Is Ever So Evil!

[pippin_999]

No: HPFGUIDX 39562

Pippin, Dicentra, Elkins and Porphyria are enjoying a lively game 
of hedgehog croquet on the grounds of Diana's castle. Pippin 
tries to line up a shot, but her dark glasses *will* keep sliding 
down her nose, and her flamingo  keeps getting tangled in her 
FEATHERBOA. Besides that she is distracted by the sounds of   
Cindy down on the beach, holding her paddle in a menacing way 
as she moves in on  Stoned!Harry shrieking, "Off with his head!"

Elkins gives her hedgehog a mighty whack:

>>>>Minerva McGonagall.

Foreshadowed As Ever So Evil From The Very First Chapter Of 
The Very 
First Book.<<<<


 and sends it careening into Pippin's, which promptly spreads its 
wings, flies into the trees and sulks.

Pippin attempts  to coax it down.

"What's the matter?" she asks, peering up into branches of an 
enormous yew. Pippin, like all TBayers, is an Urchinmouth, and 
speaks the mysterious tongue of the hedgehogs.

"McGonagall's very first appearance in the very first book!" sniffs 
her hedgehog. "Lupin isn't even _in_ the first book! It's not fair!'

"Oh come on! Elkins didn't mean a word of that nonsense! What 
did you think she was up to with the Cheshire Cat reference, 
anyway?"

"I don't care! I'm not coming down unless you can find a hint that 
Lupin is ever so evil in his very first scene!'

"Fair enough," says Pippin. She thinks for a moment. Dicey and 
Elkins come over to watch.  Down on the beach, Cindy pricks up 
her ears. She hasn't had the heart to return to the Big Bang 
Destroyer since all those Lupin-is-evil can(n)ons mysteriously 
appeared on board. 

Pippin smiles triumphantly. "Piece of (drugged chocolate) cake! 
Lupin, in his very first scene, does the most sinister thing anyone 
can do to a child!"

Pippin's hedgehog looks confused. "He does? But he's just 
sleeping. And then he drives off the Dementor, and then he --Oh  
No. No, no, no. Oh, how *could* he!"

Now everyone else looks confused. But ever-so-clever Elkins 
nods appreciatively. "Of course. Lupin hasn't been properly 
introduced. They only know who he is because of the name on 
his case. That makes him a STRANGER. And he gives 
them--ohhh the infamy--candy!" 

"Harry took CANDY FROM A STRANGER!" Dicey cries. "Is he 
mad?" 

"McGonagall's very suspicious when she hears about it, too," 
says Pippin. "Remember when they're all in her office later? As 
soon as she hears about that candy, she says"sharply", "Are you 
sure you feel all right, Potter?" 

"You see? She's worried about Harry. As if she could be a Death 
Eater, when she's not even afraid of Dumbledore! Argues with 
him all the time. Waits around on purpose to see him. Ran 
Hogwarts all by herself for three weeks in CoS, and the world 
didn't come to an end, did it? Well, Ginny nearly got killed, but 
then Minerva's a Hermione fan, isn't she. She just wanted to 
clear the path for H/H. <g>"

Pippin's hedgehog sails down from the trees and nestles in her 
arms. 

"There, there. JKR would never encourage children to take candy 
from strangers who know their names without being told, of 
course not!"

Pippin's hedgehog looks up at her. "Typing 'Pippin's hedgehog' 
over and over again must be pretty tiring for you. Why don't you 
give me a name?"

Pippin sighs. Tabouli is travelling and she is ever so much more 
clever about these things...still, she decides to give it a try.

L.Y.C.A.N.T.H.R.O.P.E.

Lupin Yields Candy, A Nasty Trick, He's Really, Obviously, 
Perfectly Evil


Pippin
 off to assemble further evidence of distrust between McGonagall 
and Lupin