Coloured Flamingos (WAS: TBAY Sirius Black Is Ever So Evil)

[charisjulia]

No: HPFGUIDX 39847

Eloise was getting excited over croquet:

<<<<<<<Aha! Yes! If only we can introduce some more, differently 
coloured flamingos, 
it will make croquet so much easier! The pink flamingos, remember are 
indicative of Snape's supposed loves and we only have one left since 
I 
unfortunately strangled its companion (but didn't someone recently 
suggest 
another love for Snape? Come to think of it, STUDMUFFIN proposes a 
whole 
harem, so perhaps we're not as badly off as I thought).

But yes, why not have green flamingos to represent Sirius' proposed 
loves?
>>>>>>>>>>>

Yes! Exactly! That's the idea! Just think of the * fun* we could have!

So pink is Snape `cos it clashes in such an alarmingly delightful way 
with his shadowy, onyx eyes. Sirius gets green because he's 
definitely destined to love a cabbage-- smelling Polyjuised girl. Who 
else then? Hmmm, this requires some thought. . .

I said:

> Some weeks ago Cindy proposed her brilliant Pillow Talk idea. 
> Unfortunately this obvious stroke of genius was unappreciated and 
> eventually discharged. Now, however I move for its re--examination. 


Eloise wrote:

>Oh. So she's not Mrs Lestrange.
>The move from Albus (think of the Latin) to Black, you mean?
>So Sirius is into older women? *Seriously* older women? (If she's 
>Albus' 
>sister, presumably she doesn't need to polyjuice herself older.) Or 
>this is 
>all in the course of duty? Eeeeew!!!
>Oops. Sorry. Got a bit ageist there. Obviously he's just stringing 
>her along, 
>yes? Poor Arabella!

Yes. Well, I was actually hoping no—one would bring that tiny, 
petty,  insignificant problem up, but since you mention it. 

Now, I did try to work out a plausible timeline, but unfortunately 
this does not seem to be possible even with the most extreme 
stretches. Phooey. Oh, but, look here now. If Telemachus can do it, 
so can Sirius, OK? You got a problem with that? Huh?(parenthetically, 
did you know that, Fenelon aside, according to another tradition 
Telemachus married not Circe (who was of course decades older than 
him), but Nausicaa, daughter of Alcinous, who bore him the twins 
Romulus and Remus? Though of course the most accepted version of this 
tale is that they were the sons of Mars and Rea Silvia. Interesting 
however that Telemachus is supposed to have  left Ithaca because of a 
prophesy according to which he would bring about the death of 
Odysseus. Or maybe not.)


>I never quite understood *why* the Sirius/Arabella partnership was 
>abandoned. 
>I never thought the objections were strong enough to completely 
>disprove it; 
>I rather warm to it, myself.

I never quite got that myself. Was there perhaps some shattering post 
that I missed? I'm not quite sure I quite I buy the idea that Sirius 
was hanging out in Arabella's bedroom at the beginning of PoA, mind 
you. I do still object to that. But surely that doesn't disprove the 
rest of the theory, does it?

Besides, think of the * evidence* we've collected here. We're talking 
whomping big can(n)onballs (well, you know, relatively speaking of 
course. . .) For starters you've got the all—mighty cabbage smell. 
*Never * forget the cabbage smell. Then there's the fact that 
Arabella absolutely * must* have a really, really * good* reason to 
be posing as a Muggle for all those long years. I mean she'd better 
have one. `Cos if she just did it for Harry out of the goodness of 
her heart,well, I, for one, will be really * deflated*. Pathetic, 
that's what it would be. Pathetic. And anyway, she's not even all 
that * nice* to Harry, is she? At least Harry doesn't seem to think 
so. (And, anyway, people acting so altruistically out of mere 
goodness of the heart would surely provide decent * cake*?) Finally, 
you've got Padfoot hanging out in the garden of some house in 
Magnolia Crescent. You can't tell me that was put there as simple 
garnish, can you? No,no, no, I refuse to believe it. I mean, the 
street's even got a * name*, for crying out loud. And Sirius needn't 
have actually * talked* to Arabella after all. He could simply have 
been staring longingly into her living room unwilling to show himself 
before he got a haircut (though mind you that Polujuise Potion 
doesn't sound to me like it's done much for * her* looks either.), 
or ...

Huh.

Oh. My. What did I just say? I just . . . Hang on a sec, guys.

Rewind, rewind. . . doesn't see a reason to speak to her, names put 
there as more than garnish, Magnolia Crescent. 

Yes! * That* was it.

Magnolia Crescent. * Magnolia* Crescent. Magnolia * Crescent*. 

Eloise, I think we've got ourselves another flamingo.

How could I have been so * blind*? It wasn't Sirius who loved 
Arabella! It was Remus! I, mean, of * course*! It's all been all 
along right there in black and white . Duh!


Right. Now, first of all look at the type of street we've got here. 
Is it a "Road"? No. Is it a "Close"? 
No. "Avenue", "Way", "Mews", "Lane", "Row", "Terrace", "Gardens" 
even? No. It's a "Crescent"! Why a Crescent? (incidentally a crescent 
is IMHO a rather silly place to go to if you're running away from 
home. It doesn't really * lead* anywhere.)

Well, because, of course, as opposed to a full moon which is his 
Boggart, a sickle moon is naturally what Remus * loves* most. 
Therefore the crescent is a symbol of his love for the lady who 
resides in a street of this shape. So obvious really.

And then there's the Magnolia. Well, I think we've all aware of JKR's 
rather unfortunate habit of naming women after flowers. Lily, 
Petunia, Pansy, Lavender and of course the all—encompassing Fleur. 
Why not a Magnolia as well? Lily and Magnolia, best friends since 
Hogwarts days. Very fitting, wouldn't you say? Notice too how Lupin 
is also named after a flower. How cute.

And then there's that Arabella. Very significant too. Dead give away 
actually.  How? Err, well, . . .(Don't laugh, Fiat!)  Well, you see, 
it's Arabella, right? Which could become Bella, yes? And, err, you 
know, in the Disney motion picture, err, well,  Belle, you know. . . 
<very quickly> loved the Beast. . . Err. Yes. So.


OK, so you can take that or leave it. But still the name's got to 
mean something, hasn't it? Only the major child protagonists seem to 
get names that mean nothing whatsoever (despite being perfect for 
them anyway) and Arabella isn't a child nor has she been major up 
till now. 


Huh? What's that you say? It's just a name and names don't provide 
staunch Canon? Look, I don't know what book * you*'ve been reading, 
but I'm talking about Harry Potter here, ok? 


So. . .Where was I? . . .Oh, what * is* it again! Well? Get it out 
already! Huh? We don't know for sure that Arabella Figg lives in 
Magnolia Crescent? That's just where Harry ended up after he blew up 
Marge? Oh, please! What a feeble objection! Ok, then Mr Smart Guy. If 
she didn't live in No2 Magnolia Crescent, where * did* she live? It 
wasn't Privet Drive, Harry tells us it was a couple of streets away. 
Do * you* know of any other streets in the Surrey of the Potterverse? 
Ha! Didn't think so! 


And now for the colour co--ordination. Lets see. . .this flamingo 
should be. . .hmmm. . . why, purple of course! Like the magnolia.
(though they also come in white and pink as well, I believe, but 
pink's been done (so * passe* now, really, one thinks. . .) and 
white. . . well, flamingos are supposed to be of passionate colouring 
surely! Otherwise, what's their point? 


>Eloise, who isn't sure about any of it either, but quite likes 
>shell-shocked 
>Neville and is very confused about whether she and Charis Julia 
>agree on this 
>(and are therefore *both* boring) or not. ;-)

Charis Julia, who thinks they do, is very much afraid that they are, 
but would rather not talk about it ;--)