( TBAY): HP and the Superfluous Scene

[rowen_lm]

No: HPFGUIDX 40194

Cindy wrote:
>>"Now that you mention it," says the Captain thoughtfully, "JKR does 
do that.  She does that *a lot,* doesn't she?  She sneaks in some 
*filler* on us when we least expect it.  And I can *prove* it!"<<

>>"There's more?"  Dicentra asks in disbelief.<<

>>"Oh yeah," the Captain says, reaching for her pocket version of 
Goblet of Fire, Cliffnotes Edition.  "Have a look at Chapter 
Six, 'The Portkey':<<

<<snip summary "So they learn about Portkeys and apparating. So 
what?">>

>>The Captain nods, smiling broadly at her success.  "So that's 
pretty darn superfluous, and it's not just part of a chapter; it's a 
*whole chapter!*  An entire *superfluous* chapter!"<<


Rowen REALLY has to disagree with this. I think that chapter has some 
key points. Novels are not to be written like encyclopedias, packing 
the most possible info into the least possible space. The number one 
purpose of books (IMNSHO) is to tell a story. It's an art, not a 
science. It's supposed to be enjoyable and asthetically pleasing. 
This chapter not only contains several bits of foreshadowing and 
information, but is an enjoyable read because of the humorous 
Weasleys. :)

Summary of Reasons for The Portkey:
1. Explains more about apparating. More facts about JKR's world for 
us. It makes her world seem more real because it relates apparating 
to getting a driver's licence. People failing tests, newly licenced 
people doing it constantly just because.
2. More about F & G's joke shop. There has to be more about it in the 
book before Harry can make a big point of giving them money to open 
it at the end. And there's no Mrs. Weasley to stop them from doing 
jokes at Hogwarts, so this is basically the only place to convey Mrs. 
Weasley's disaproval. It also shows her disappointment with F & G for 
their not-as-good-as-Percy grades.
3. Explaination of Portkeys, the QWC and anti-muggle precautions. 
Again making her world more believable. It gives us reasons we 
haven't already found out about it.
4. Reminder of a semi-rivalry between Cedric and Harry.

I think this is plenty of info for one chapter that's only, what, 
nine pages long in US hardback. As for having the information 
included in other chapters, why not in this chapter. It would be a 
little late for JKR to be explaining about portkeys AFTER they used 
one. It would be like the Weasleys and Harry using Floo Powder first 
and explaining how it worked after retreving Harry from Knockturn 
Alley. It doesn't fit in a logical sequence of events. Like I said in 
#2 in above list, it's the only time it makes sense to include 
Molly's disapproval of the twins. It makes her character more real.

A book is not just a series of facts, it's a story. The facts have to 
be revealed in a not-obvious way. It's really tacky in writing to 
describe your characters in long paragraphs outside of dialogue or 
action. Details should be given while the action is moving. If JRK 
had summarized this chapter into a paragraph before the next chapter 
going something like: "Harry, Hermione and the Weasleys woke up the 
next morning to head to the QWC. Percy, Charlie and Bill were 
apparating in later (which, by the way, requires a licence. Did you 
hear the one about the wizards who splinched themselves?) but the 
rest of them had to walk up a hill to touch this thing called a 
portkey. Mr. Weasley had explained that a Portkey . . . etc."

REALLY TACKY.

This is not the way JKR writes her books. IT's better to have your 
characters find out information (and thus, your readers) than talk 
directly to your reader. I don't really know how to explain why this 
is extremely faux-paux in writing. I can't come up with a word for 
it. If someone who is more articulate than me could explain it 
better, please do so.

Anyway, I believe this chapter is very necessary. La de dah.

Rowen