TBAY: Peter Doesn't Get The Girl

[lucky_kari]

No: HPFGUIDX 40543

(Apologies to Elkins in advance. Elkins is really quite nice, much 
nicer even than Lily Potter.)

It is a lovely night out on Awphtawppik Lagoon. The moon is shining, 
as a kayak glides across the waters. Careful observation produces some 
curious facts about the kayak. It is covered with dents and scrapes, 
and although it has room for four paddlers is only occupied by two, 
languidly paddling around under the moon.

"I really needed this break, Avery," says one of the paddlers. "After 
my friends memory-charmed me and then abandoned me, and we got mixed 
up with Gilderoy Lockhart."

The paddler called Avery shakes his head.

"No, you're right. Not Gilderoy Lockhart. George Lucas. Same 
difference. But anyway, I want to say, Ave, that you've always been 
there for me. Unlike some people I could name."

Avery smiles appreciatively.

"But as nice as this vacation's been, I just got an urgent call from 
Elkins. She seemed a little surprised I was alive when she got me 
through our campfire. Said something about being glad I got away from 
Pettigrew and that she wasn't a Gryffindor. But, apparently, she's got 
something big on Pettigrew."

Avery begins to shake.

"Look, Ave, don't be coward. I mean, we sycophants have to stick 
together. At least, that's what Elkins told me once. Not that she's 
stuck to me."

Avery raises his eyebrows.

"Unresolved issues between us. She's been threatening to revoke my 
SYCOPHANT membership. All because of You-Know-Who."

Avery's big brown eyes grow larger.

"No, not THAT You-Know-Who. Cr.. Well, never mind. Let's go and see 
Elkins."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Eileen and Avery bring their kayak gently towards the waterfront 
entrance of St. Mungo's. On entering Theory Bay, the two had been 
greeted with the news that George had requested Elkins to come for 
group therapy with Cindy. "About time," thinks Eileen.

"Do you have a referral?" the nurse asks.

"No. I can prove I'm a member of Fourth Man, FEATHERBOAS, SYCOPHANTS, 
and Subversive!Neville. Will that get me checked in?" asks Eileen.

The nurse flinches and waves Eileen towards the room where George is 
helping Cindy and Elkins to sort things through.

"YOU CALLED ME DEMENTED!" comes a shriek from behind the door that 
sounds like Cindy's. "Just because I said that Cruciatis makes you 
*stronger*."

Avery turns to run, but Eileen takes him by the arm, and pulls him 
into the room.

"Ah, Eileen, Avery," George raises his gorgeous eyes. "Long time no 
see. In fact..." George doesn't finish the sentence. The last time 
Eileen and George met, he was fanning Tabouli while Tabouli screamed 
orders at her crew to bring back Eileen in chains for attempted 
LOLLIPOPS desertion.

"Am I demented?" asks Cindy earnestly. "Elkins says I'm demented. She 
says Pip will think I'm demented too. What do you think?"

"Demented is good," says Eileen calmly. "If one wants to understand 
someone walk in their shoes a mile. If one wants to understand the 
wizarding world, be demented."

A look of disaproval comes into George's beautiful eyes. 

"However, I came here to talk to Elkins." Cindy bursts into tears. 
"NOW IT'S YOU TOO!" she screams and throws herself sobbing into 
George's shapely arms. For the first time in his life, George looks a 
little awkward, doing a passable imitation of Ron Weasley in PoA. 

"Hello Eileen," says Elkins a little stiffly.

"Hello."

They stare at each other a little.

"Having fun with CRAB CUSTARD recently?" says Elkins, a cold glint in 
her eye.

Eileen blushes. 

"It's not my fault," begins Eileen. "It's just..."

"It's just that Crouch Sr. is so dead sexy? Eileen, how could you? And 
you maligned our poor Barty Jr. a charter member, may I remind you, of 
SYCOPHANTS." 

"Elkins, SYCOPHANTS were made to worship Tough people," says Eileen in 
an impassioned, and curiously trembling voice. "Aren't you glad it 
wasn't Voldemort or Cindy?" (Cindy begins to wail.) "Forgive me, 
Elkins, forgive me!" Eileen throws herself on the floor. "You like 
Percy, don't you? Percy worshiped Crouch. I've always told you I'm 
like Percy." 

"Get up, Eileen," says Elkins softly. "Stand up. You ask for 
forgiveness? I do not forgive. I do not forget. Three long months.... 
I want three months' repayment before I forgive you. Cindy here is 
already paying some of her debst already, aren't you, Cindy?"

Elkins looks at Cindy, who continues to sob.

"You returned to me, Eileen, not out of loyalty, but out of boredom. 
You deserve this pain, Eileen. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes, Elkins," moans Eileen, "please, Elkins, please..."

"Yet you have helped me in the past. You have even stood up for 
Subversive!Neville," says Elikns watching Eileen sob on the ground. 
"Worthless and traitorous as you are, you helped me... and Elkins 
rewards her helpers..."

Elkins raises her wand and whirls it through the air. A streak of what 
looked like molten silver hangs shining in the wand's wake. 
Momentarily shapeless, it writhes and then forms itself into a 
gleaming canon, bright as moonlight, which soars downward, and lands 
right at Eileen's feet.

Eileen's sobbing stops abruptly. Her breathing harsh and ragged, she 
raises her head and stares in disbelief at the silver canon.

"Elkins," she whispers. "Master... it is beautiful... thank you... 
thank you!"

She scrambles froward on her knees and kisses the hem of Elkins' 
robes.

"May your loyalty never waver again, Eileen," says Elkins.

"No, Elkins... never, Elkins."

>If we rework TEWW EWWW To Be TREWWW so that it is *Peter,* rather 
>than Snape, who was offered Lily as his prize, then everything begins 
>to fit together. 

Eileen begins to smile. 

>It explains why Voldemort hesitated for only that 
>split second before cheerfully slaughtering Lily. After all, if he'd 
>really promised her to some *competent* Death Eater, one with some 
>genuinely useful *skills,* then one might think that he would have 
>thought twice before deciding not to follow through on his promise.

Eileen nods. 

But then one wonders why Voldemort even bothered to ask her to stand 
aside. Perhaps he thought it would be sadistically fun to hand her 
over to Peter, but having that documented disdain for women, he 
decided he didn't care, and just killed her?

>Small wonder that Voldemort does not trust Peter's loyalty! And 
>small wonder that Peter himself seems so mistrustful of Voldemort's 
> likelihood of keeping his promises this time around. From Peter's 
>perspective, you see, Voldemort has a really lousy track record when 
>it comes to this kind of thing.

Ah, this goes a long way to explaining their relationship. I mean, 
what
evidence has Peter to be so darn suspicious of Voldemort's promises?
We all know that the devil is the prince of lies, but other than that? 
(;-)
And, he keeps jumping to the conclusion that Voldemort's going to
kill him. A reasonable conclusion perhaps but what has got Peter's
mind into "He's trying to kill me and double cross me" mode? The only
way he could already have been doubled-crossed is if we involve Lily. 

>In fact, right after Voldemort's rebirth, when maimed Pettigrew gasps 
>out his reminder of some "promise" to his unimpressed master, is he 
>really referring to a current event at all? We have all naturally 
>assumed that Voldemort must have promised Pettigrew some reward in 
>exchange for the sacrifice of his hand. But the words can be read 
>differently. It could be that what Peter was really trying to say 
>there was: "Don't hold my past disloyalty against me. You promised 
>me Lily, and you reneged. Surely you can understand why I might have 
>been a bit faithless, under the circumstances? So come on, be a 
>sport, won't you? *I* sure have. Don't make me bleed to death here 
>in this creepy graveyard, okay?"

Yes, yes they can. And it's worse than that. It isn't even bleeding to
death that Peter's primarily afraid of. I didn't notice this very much
before but...

"He caressed it gently, too; and then he raised it and ponted it at
Wormtail who was lifted off the ground, and thrown against the 
headstone where Harry was tied; he fell to the foot of it and lay
there crumpled up and crying."

As far as Peter can see, Voldemort is about to kill him, not just
leave him to die. He isn't even pleading for the reward, or even
for the bleeding to stop. He's pleading that he not be killed. A 
perfect time to remind Voldemort. "You promised.." "So, you 
killed Lily and now you're going to kill me?"

Elkins then went into a lot of Freudian stuff. Eileen doesn't really 
get
Freudian stuff, but she did find it interesting that Peter cut off his
pointer finger. Kind of inconvenient.

>But the graveyard is hardly the *only* 
>place that Peter has exhibited such reluctance to look Harry in the 
>eyes, is it? In fact, he shows that same reluctance even before he's 
>accumulated any burdensome life debt at all. He never once faces 
>Harry in the Shrieking Shack until the very end, when he has already 
>checked everyone else in the room off on his Supplication List. And 
>even then he is reluctant. He hesitates, he "turned his head 
>slowly." He is far more willing to clasp Harry's knees or to grovel 
>at his feet than he is to look directly into those familiar emerald 
>green eyes...

Eileen nods again. 

>He knows that if he even once speaks her name, his voice will betray 
>him.

>As indeed, his words very nearly do. Consider this line, for example:

>"Harry, James wouldn't have wanted me killed...James would have 
>understood, Harry..."

>He would? James would have *understood?* Understood what, for 
>heaven's sake? Cowardice? Self-interest? Betrayal?

>No. James would not have understood. That is because James was 
>*heroic.* In fact, James was so tediously and irritatingly and 
>*boringly* heroic that not one reader has ever confessed to having a 
>crush on him. James would never have understood such motivations. 
>But one thing that even he, one thing that even the Ever So 
>Infuriatingly Virtuous James Potter might have understood? 

>Even *he* might have understood how it must feel to be haunted, 
>obsessed, tormented, *consumed* by the fires of passion for the 
>lovely young Lily. 

>After all, he married her.

A very good canon, Elkins. It's given me a thought. I could see Peter 
having convinced himself that he did everything he did to protect 
Lily. Voldemort would sooner or later have made him crack, or found 
out some other way, so he made a deal that would save Lily. And surely 
James would understand that. Wouldn't he?

I'm not sure that his evident liking for Weasleys and Ron is relevant, 
but if you say so.... 

But then Elkins launches into a mutation of "Peter gets the Girl!"

You're right that the hex story should belong to Peter, not Snape, not 
Sirius, or anyone else. It just doesn't make sense that Dumbledore 
would bring it up here. I think Peter did take his revenge on Bertha 
Jorkins. But what for?

"I'll tell you what for!" cries Cindy. 
>"Bertha told Peter she had seen him kissing Florence, and it was a 
*flat-out lie.* 
>She was *teasing* him – she says so in the 
>Pensieve. And Big Mouth Bertha had to go and tease Peter about 
 >something that never even happened *right in front of Peter's first 
>true love* – Lily Potter. This *ruined* Peter's chances of ever 
 >having Lily, drove Lily into the waiting arms of James, and made 
>Peter mad enough to hex stupid Bertha on the spot for telling 
>tales. And mad enough to follow up and help kidnap Bertha many 
 >years later and torture her half to death." 

"Cindy, my slippery friend," says Elkins lazily. "Why don't you 
believe my version of events?"
>Oh, yeah. Bertha just *ruined* Peter's strategy there, giving the 
>game away that he actually *was* capable of finding female 
>companionship when he wanted it. Undercutting all of 
>that "Hopelessly Devoted Admirer Who Will NEVER Get A Date With 
>Anyone Else" stuff that he'd been feeding to sympathetic soft-touch
>"Lily-Was-Nice" Lily. Giving the show away that dear little "Oh, I 
>can talk to *you* about this, Peter, because you're not *like* all 
>the other boys, Peter" Pettigrew really was "just like all the other 
 >boys" after all. After finding out that Peter had been snogging 
 >Florence behind the greenhouses, was Lily ever going to give way to 
 >the temptation to let him have just one sympathy...uh, hug?

"You know, Cindy, Elkins," says Eileen. "They're both really great 
stories. And one of them is true. But it strikes me that Elkins is 
well more sordid, and Cindy's more romantic. And well, Peter's sordid. 
I'm sorry, Cindy. I'm with Elkins."

>As [Elkins]As she disentangles her hair from one of the thorns, she 
hears 
>newcomer User Google, musing out loud:

 >"Will Wormtail Pull A Gollum?" 

>Elkins coughs and wipes the back of her hand across her mouth.

> "A Gollum?" she repeats to herself. "A *Gollum?*"

>She shakes her head. 

>"Nah," she says. "Way too obvious."

SPOILERS for the second last chapter of the LOTR.
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"Wormtongue!" called Frodo. "You need not follow him. I know of no 
evil you have done to me. You can have rest and food here for a while, 
until you are stronger and can go back to your own ways."

Wormtongue halted and looked back at him, half prepared to stay. 
Saruman turned. "No evil?" he cackled. "Oh no! Even when he sneaks out 
at night it is only to look at the stars. But did I hear someone ask 
where poor Lotho is hiding? You know, don't you, Worm? Will you tell 
them?"

Wormtongue cowered down and whimpered: "No, no!"

"Then I will," said Saruman. "Worm killed your Chief, poor little 
fellow, your nice little Boss. Didn't you Worm? Stabbed him in his 
sleep, I believe. Buried him, I hope; though Worm has been very hungry 
lately. No, Worm is not really nice. You had better leave him to me."

A look of wild hatred came into Wormtongue's red eyes. "You told me 
to; you made me do it," he hissed.

Saruman laughed. "You do what Sharkey says, always, don't you, Worm? 
Well, now he says: follow!" He kicked Wormtongue in the face as he 
grovelled, and turned and made off. But at that something snapped: 
suddenly Wormtongue rose up, drawing a hidden knife, and then with a 
snarl like a dog he sprang on Saruman's back, jerked his head back, 
cut his throat, and with a yell ran off down the lane. Before Frodo 
could recover or speak a word, three hobbit-bows twanged and 
Wormtongue fell dead. 

* * * * * * * * * *

Eileen always happy to light a candle beside Elkins's