TBAY The Biggest of Hedgehogs

[Linda C. McCabe]

No: HPFGUIDX 40569




The Athenian goddess looks the Captain squarely in the eyes.

"Cindy, I've been recently informed that you are in therapy.  I think that
may be a *good thing.*  You see, I understand you dislike the Keeper of the
Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts.  However. Comma.  It just doesn't seem right
that he would be Ever So Evil.  There's too many holes in that theory."

Athena draws the captain to a nice comfy sofa and calmly offers her a cup of
nectar.

"Here, drink this and it will soothe your nerves.  You see, if Hagrid were
ESE...then there would be no series.  If Hagrid had picked up Voldemort's
wand in order to save it later for his Master -- why would he have delivered
baby Harry to Privet Drive?  Don't you think he would have just chucked the
little brat off to sea and let him drown?"

"But, but...I have all these cannons..." Cindy groaned.

"Yes, yes and they do appear interesting on first blush.  Especially how you
responded to the question of how to hide such a large Death Eater at the
graveyard.  Placing him behind Harry is a clever response.  However,
remember in the first book where Hagrid also had the Philosopher's Stone in
his possession as well as Harry Potter.  And he met up with Quirrell
earilier that very same day.  If Hagrid were ESE, then after going to
Gringotts to pick up said stone - wouldn't he have later joined Quirrell at
some pre-arranged site and delivered the immortality to Their Master and The
Boy Who Lived?"

The goddess brought a nice blanket to cover the shivering shoulders of the
captain.

"And there's the pesky detail of Hagrid being tricked into devulging the
secret of how to get around Fluffy in exchange for a dragon's egg.  Surely
if Voldemort knew that Hagrid was a supporter, he could have merely asked
Hagrid himself without having to resort to deceit."

Athena then raises Cindy's chin so that she can look her in the eye.

"I do however like the idea that Hagrid had Voldemort's wand hidden in the
umbrella and that Wormtail scampered to the hut to retrieve it before going
to Albania.  Seeing how a spellotaped wand backfired repeatedly on Ron
during the second year does not make me feel good about Hagrid having his
broken wand working.  It also neatly answers the age old question:  What
happened to Voldemort's wand?  Hagrid picked it up and later Scabbers found
it when he was hiding in Hagrid's hut.  Then retrieved it when he was
exposed as Wormtail and forced to seek refuge in The Evil Overlord.  Does my
fondness for that reading of canon make you feel any better?"

"A little.  At least my posts aren't totally ignored," the captain said
cheering up.


"And Captain, you are welcome in my temple anytime you need a little respite
from the denizens of Theory Bay who would deign to hurl you into its
churning waters," the gray eyed goddess intoned.  "That type of disrespect
is frowned upon.  Why should anyone try to do that to me or any of the
Olympians - they should remember the story of Arachne.  She had the distaste
to compare her talent to mine and when forced to compete with me she wove a
tapestry mocking the gods and goddesses.  Now she spends her day spinning
and spinning webs in the Forbidden Forest as a member of Aragog's harem."

The goddess gives a shrewd look at the brave but battered captain and
decides maybe she is worthy of a little divine intervention.

"Another instance of transfiguration of mortals who did not know how to
behave involved my sister Artemis.  She was bathing under the moon in a
still body of water after an enjoyable hunt.  When a huntsman happened upon
her and did not avert his eyes after he realized what he saw.  Artemis took
her hand into the water and sprinkled his face with water.  Where the
droplets hit him antlers sprung up.  Soon he was a grown stag and his own
dogs were beset upon him.  Woe to those who cross the gods and goddesses."

Athena gives Cindy a smile, "And now Captain Cindy, I have been known to
bestow favors to mere mortals in the past who have shown bravery.  Since
there have been those who have attacked you or your paddle, I shall invoke
the power of transfiguration to your paddle.  But it shall only work three
times.  Use it wisely and do not make me regret having given you such a
power."

Captain Cindy thanks Athena and picks up her newly enchanted paddle and
hefts its large mass onto her shoulder.  She starts whistling as she heads
back to the Big Bang Destroyer as thoughts of how she could use this new
power in a creative and Bangy way.



Athena