He's Not There (filk)

[coriolan_cmc2001]

No: HPFGUIDX 36777

Argus Filch in his first solo filk!

He's Not There 

(To the tune of She's Not There)

Dedicated to Eileen

THE SCENE: Filch's office. Enter FILCH

FILCH
Albus told me about Peeves, and all his pranks
But who could ever have believed he'd make me a crank.
But if you've time, please hear my story
How his cackles have made me swear
Peeves, when I have to try to find him
He's not there

Ooh, nobody told me that rude words were all he knew
No one told me the Baron's all he listens to
But now he's emptied out a chalk bin
And ev'ry child he tries to scare
But there's no purpose served in talkin' 
He's not there.

Well, let me tell you he's a Poltergeist
The way he floatin', the colors that he wears
His voice is loud and cruel
He wants to get your conk so please beware
And it's so hard to trap this quarry
He'll poke your nose or pull your hair
The Friar grants him yet more chances
He don't care!

Well, let me tell you he's a poltergeist
The way he floatin', the colors that he wears
His voice is loud and cruel
He's gonna get your conk so please beware!

  - CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm