TBAY: Stoned Harry

[dicentra63]

No: HPFGUIDX 38561

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Dicentra looks at the subject line, then at the messages beneath it,
then at the subject line again...

Something is very wrong with all this.

If this is a TBAY thread, then where is the water?  The SHIPs, and
other flotation devices?  The CARPing?  The ACRONYMS, fer peetsake! 
Amy said she was de-TBAYing this thread, but I bet it didn't even get
mud on her doormat when she brought in inside.  People!  Chop! Chop! 
If you're gonna TBAY, you gotta get your feet wet!  

Dicentra resolves to, er, resolve this problem by grabbing the two-man
kayak abandoned the Fourth Man crew and bringing it near the shore.  
Then she runs over to Stoned!Harry, gets a handful of his robes, and
with surprisingly little effort drags him to the kayak.

"Look," she says to Stoned!Harry.  "Yeh gotta have a boat to use that
TBAY prefix.  Otherwise, there's no reason to use it."

Stoned!Harry, looking a bit dazed, doesn't seem to understand. 
Dicentra grabs his right leg and shoves it in the kayak's opening. 
Stoned!Harry shifts his weight into the kayak, and upon feeling the
vessel move into the bay, quickly swings his other leg out in front of
the kayak.  To Dicentra's surprise, his left foot doesn't sink into
the water.  Stoned!Harry doesn't seem to notice anything unusual about
this, and he pulls his right leg from the kayak and begins to stride
across the water, still looking as if he'd just awakened from a long nap.

Dicentra, realizing that there needs to be a point to all this, runs
over to a can(n)on sitting on the shore and takes careful aim at
Stoned!Harry, who is now standing about 30 yards out, watching some
fish swim under his feet.

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Cindy responds to Katze: 
> Oh, I don't *like* having Harry just surrender his immortality.  I 
> mean, where's the Bang there?  He just kind of nods when he realizes 
> the sacrifice he must make, maybe with his eyes tearing up a bit?  
> Ron and Hermione just kind of shrug back at him, because, hey, he 
> gets to live out the rest of his life just like they do, so where's 
> the tragedy in his forfeiture of immortality? So when Harry forfeits
immortality, he can't be around to live a normal wizarding lifespan. 
He has to Meet His  Maker *right then.*
>
Dicentra responds:

Oh yes, he most definintely has to die at the end.  And JKR has
alreadly told us how it's going down (at least I think she has). 
Remember when Harry and Ron were making up predictions in GoF and how
Harry inadvertently predicted the three tasks?  Well, the last
prediction Harry made was his own beheading.  And, as someone pointed
out last time I pointed this out, Ron and Harry were later playing
with a couple of the twins' trick wands in McGonagall's class: Harry's
had turned into a rubber fish and Ron's was a tin parrot.  Ron
beheaded Harry's fish with his parrot.

Is that Bangy or what?  Not only does Harry have to die to take
Voldemort out, but it will end up being by Ron's hand. (Whether it's
good!Ron or evil!Ron I cannot say at this time.)  And his head comes
off, too!  BANG!
> 
> Cindy (who wants Harry to tangle with Voldemort on a rickety catwalk 
> high over a river of molten lava or something else really, really 
> visual)

We can do that, as long as Harry eventually loses his head in the
process.  Willingly.  Like Sidney Carton and all that.

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Dicentra calls out to Stoned!Harry: "Yo!  Harry!  Watch your neck,
there!"  He waves cheerily to Dicentra; it's obvious he doesn't get
it.  Dicentra looks around for more can(n)ons to aim at him, but they
all seem to be languishing in a recently purchased manor in Scotland.

Dicentra adjusts her FEATHERBOA and stomps off, disgusted, while
Stoned!Harry wanders aimlessly across the bay.    

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--Dicentra, who really likes fish