TBAY: Stoned Harry

[cindysphynx]

No: HPFGUIDX 38571

Dicentra wrote:

> If this is a TBAY thread, then where is the water?  The SHIPs, and
> other flotation devices?  The CARPing?  The ACRONYMS, fer 
>peetsake! 

::hangs head in shame::

Oh dear.  

As usual, Dicentra is right.  This thread got off to such a pitiful 
TBAY start that it is almost a disgrace to the uniform.  It's a TBAY 
pretender, an imposter, a wannabe.  Sheeze, no one even *tried* to 
brandish a paddle at anyone, for crying out loud.  Something is just 
wrong here.  Terribly wrong.  

It's a problem that can be fixed, though, isn't it?  Caroline is the 
Captain, and I'm sure she'll take control of this thing before it 
crashes into the rocks.  If you want my Always Humble opinion, I 
think I know why this thread headed in the wrong direction.  Dicey, 
who is infatuated with fish, wrote:

<"))><  <"))><  <"))><  <"))><  

That's where we got off track, I think.  With all due respect, 
Dicey, I think it works *much* better this way:

><((">  ><((">  ><(("> ><((">  

Yes.  A minor course correction is just what we need.

***************************

OK, you guys are starting to *scare* me just a bit.  I mean, it's 
one thing to just imagine having Harry die.  Anyone can do that.  
I've done it many times, although not as often as I've imagined 
Hagrid's demise.  ;-)

But now you guys have found actual *canons* for Stoned!Harry!  

If you look closely, however, there are two additional canons for 
Stoned!Harry.  And I promise you, once the roar of the crowd dies 
down, we'll need something *much* bigger than a two-man kayak to 
house the legions of rabid Stoned!Harry believers.

Immortal Stoned!Harry, according to Dicentra, can walk on water.  
And, pray tell, what was the very first thing Harry saw in the 
teacup in his very first Divination Class?  *A Cross*!  It was a 
crooked (some might even say Old Rugged) Cross!

<waits patiently for the disturbed murmer of the assembled masses to 
die down>

And, my friends, what did Ron see when he looked into Harry's cup?  
Ah, you don't remember, do you?  Let me refresh your 
recollection:  "[T]hat looks like an animal . . . yeah, if that was 
its head . . . it looks like a hippo . . . no, a sheep."

A sheep?  A young sheep?  A *lamb*, I daresay?  

<waits patiently for the roar of the crowd to die down, along with a 
few muffled Amens>

Yes, it all adds up.  Stoned!Harry is destined to die a death as a 
sacrifical lamb to spare others from an awful fate.  A death 
by . . .  uh . . .  by decapitation.

Um, maybe JKR will think better of that particular means of Harry's 
demise.  There's still time for something a little less gruesome, I 
think.

Caroline wrote (about Ron and Harry rising from the table together):

>And remember in PoA, when Harry and Ron got up together 
>from the table of 13? Yep, I can see Ron bringing about Harry's 
>death & dying right after

 
Well, we want to stay right on canon here, so Ron and Harry have to 
die *together*, not, er, sequentially.  So how on earth can Ron and 
Harry die together, have Harry be beheaded, and have Voldemort wind 
up in the soup with them?

Ya got me.  Anyone?

<Caroline
>--really liking Stoned Harry, but tired of him eating everything in 
>the kayak

Don't take this the wrong way or anything Caroline, but do you think 
maybe you could spruce things up in the kayak a bit?  The last 
Captain was a sweetie, but between you and me, she was a bit of a 
SYCOPHANT who spent more time in hand-wringing than in your basic 
nautical maintenance.   Keep that under your hat, though, will 
you?   

Cindy (who thinks TAGSWATCH or their new apprentice Brady should 
fire up the acronym generator)