TBAY: Filch's Double-Cross

[Cindy C.]

No: HPFGUIDX 46041

"George!  She's waking up!"

Cindy fought to open her eyes, dimly aware of the thin smear of 
sweat between her cheek and the leather sofa.  She saw the outlines 
of several people standing around her, but her vision was too 
blurred to make out their faces.  She shut her eyes against the bare 
halogen bulb that hung from the rafters overhead.  The howl of the 
coming storm was soon drowned in the feverish pounding in her head.

"Where am I?" she croaked.  "What happened?"

"Don't try to move," George said quietly.  "You had a bad night.  
You did *way* too much theorizing.  We were really worried."

Cindy rubbed her eyes, and her vision cleared enough to recognize 
Melody, Risti and Eileen.  Risti looked nonplussed, but Melody was 
ashen and shaking.  Eileen's eyes were puffy, and she bit her 
trembling lower lip.  "You could have *died!*" she whispered.

"I don't remember anything," Cindy asked, struggling to sit 
up.  "What . . . . what did I say?  What did I *do*?"

"Oh, you were out of control, that's for sure," Risti said flatly.  

"You were knocking back shots with JKR, spinning some insane Filch 
theory.  And then when she left, you just wouldn't stop.  You -– you 
kept right on theorizing.  And then you -–" Melody's voice died in 
her throat.

Risti sighed impatiently.  "You finished off JKR's leftover ale." 

"I . . . I drank JKR's *backwash?*" Cindy asked.  She pressed her 
hand to her forehead and collapsed back onto the sofa.  "Oh, I think 
I'm gonna be *sick!*"

"Yeah," Melody said, "and you had this whole theory about how Filch 
will be the Pied Piper of the muggle world and -- "

"Oh no!" Cindy gasped.  "Tell me I didn't use the words 'Pied 
Piper!'  For all that is Good and Holy, please tell me I did not 
call my theory 'PiedPiper!Filch!'  'Cause Elkins will never let me 
live it down!"

"No, you didn't," said Risti.  "But you hacked up the theory pretty 
good, because you thought that the Oprah kid said the muggles 
would 'invade' the wizarding world, and he never said any such 
thing."

"He didn't?"  Cindy sat up again, this time swinging her feet to the 
floor.  "Well, that doesn't matter.  The theory itself is perfectly 
sound.  Whether the kid used the word 'invade' isn't important."

Risti folded her arms across her chest.  "Oh, the kid said nothing 
of the sort, Cindy.  You were *way* off.  The kid said 'crazy things 
are going to happen' and 'muggles are going to get into the 
wizarding world.'"

"'Get into.'  'Invade.'  Makes no difference," Cindy said with a 
shrug.  "The point is that there's going to be an increase in 
muggle/wizard contact.  So far, there hasn't been much meaningful 
contact between wizards and muggles.  The Grangers have twigged to 
the wizarding world and have even visited Diagon Alley.  Fudge has 
been in contact with the muggle Prime Minister about Sirius Black.  
The Dursleys know plenty, but the Robertsons don't remember a 
thing.  

"That's important, see.  That suggests to me that whatever contact 
there will be between muggles and wizards in OoP will be different 
in character from what we've seen so far.  And having Filch double-
cross the wizarding world would certainly be different."

"Hang on," said Risti.  "I'm not buying this whole Oprah thing.  In 
my opinion, what the kid spouted out on national television could be 
mistaken."

"Uh, you want JKR to come right out and say that cute little kid is 
a *liar?*" Cindy said in disbelief.  "Come, come now!  She told the 
kid that he was 'scarily close.'  No way can she ignore the whole 
muggle/wizard thing now.  Nah, she's boxed in, all right.  Besides, 
you know that canon George brought out -– that whole scene where 
Arthur Weasley talks to the Grangers in Diagon Alley?"

"Yeah?"

"BORING!" cried Cindy.  "I mean, why would JKR even *bother* to put 
something that dull in the next book at all?  Voldemort will be 
back!  Unforgivable Curses will be flying!  Dementors will be 
sucking souls out of anyone who stands still too long!  Snape will 
be spying, the Old Crowd will be gathering, Wormtail will be 
crushing things with his silver hand.  And with all that Banging, 
JKR is going to have the Grangers window shopping in Diagon Alley 
again, explaining electricity and money to Arthur Weasley?  Nah, I 
just can't see it."

Cindy bent over, her head between her knees as she fought a sudden 
wave of nausea.  "I just know that Filch is the key here," she said 
in a muffled voice.  "Filch has been around for all four books, 
right?  But what has he *done* that matters?  That is a very 
important clue.  Think about the characters who have been around 
since the first book.  The trio, Dumbledore, Snape, McGonagall, the 
Dursleys, Pettigrew, Voldemort, the Weasleys -– and Filch.  The list 
is not long at all, and all of these characters have figured into 
the plot in some critical way so far –- except Filch.  Are you 
telling me that Filch is being mentioned again and again for no good 
reason?"

"Nah, I think you're wrong about Filch," said Melody.  "You said 
that Filch hates the students. I think that is a bit harsh. He may 
be intensely jealous of them, but to out and out hate them?  We 
always see Filch threatening the students and jeering at them, but 
has he ever done anything against any student beyond his normal 
job?  Filch is just a joke because he never backs his threats up."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Cindy said quietly.  "Filch –- Filch 
is downright dangerous, and he'd kill if he had the power and half 
the chance.  Take a look at CoS, 'The Writing on the Wall.'"  

**********

"What's going on here?  What's going on?"

Attracted no doubt by Malfoy's shout, Argus Filch came shouldering 
his way through the crowd.  Then he saw Mrs. Norris and fell back, 
clutching his face in horror."

"My cat!  My cat!  What happened to Mrs. Norris?" he shrieked.

And his popping eyes fell on Harry.

"*You*!" he screeched.  *You!*  You've murdered my cat!  You've 
killed her!  I'll kill you!  I'll –"

***************

"Now look at Filch's reaction there," said Cindy.  "All he knows is 
that something happened to Mrs. Norris.  There is an enormous crowd 
of students all around.  The trio 'stood alone in the middle of the 
corridor,' and they aren't even near Mrs. Norris.  But what does 
Filch do?  He jumps to the conclusion that Harry killed Mrs. 
Norris!  He doesn't accuse Ron, Hermione, Draco or any of the other 
students.  No, he goes right after The Boy Who Lived, and he 
threatens to *kill* Harry!  That shows that Filch is not only 
irrational and murderous, but that he doesn't revere Harry the way 
others in the wizarding world do.  Makes me wonder about Filch's 
loyalty to the wizarding world, it really does."

Eileen stopped dabbing at her eyes.  "Cindy, I hate to be the one to 
break it to you, but you know the bit about how Filch will learn to 
do magic late in life?  Magical!Filch is a Dud, Cindy!  Filch learns 
to do magic. Who cares? He's not an interesting character. It'll be 
all heart-warming, but even if he saves Harry, it doesn't Bang. So, 
the other two candidates here are always Petunia and Dudley Dursley. 
Both of whom could very well end up getting into the wizarding 
world. If either of them was to magic, that would be bangy as well. 
And JKR has suggested that there may be a redemption scenario for 
Dudley down the road. 'There's a lot of things coming with the 
Dursleys that you wouldn't expect,' didn't she say, more or less? 
And she said she felt sorry for Dudley, because he has been abused? 
Well, that's my theory and I'm sticking to it."

"There you go with the 'redemption' thing again.  You have a real 
weak spot for redemptions, you know that, Eileen?"

"So what if I do?  Magical!Petunia and Magical!Dudley have way more 
Bang potential than Filch."

"Oh, I beg to differ," said Cindy.  "Heck, go ahead and make all 
three Dursleys magical if you want.  Where's the Bang there?  Dudley 
comes to Hogwarts and eats?  Petunia comes to Hogwarts and makes a 
pudding?  Vernon gets red in the face and stops selling drills?  The 
Dursleys are a giant three-headed Dud.  At least Filch knows the 
soft underbelly of the wizarding world.  The Dursleys don't know 
much of anything that could make a difference in the war against 
Voldemort."

"Maybe so, Cindy," Eileen said.  "But everyone knows that no Filch 
theory is complete without a Mrs. Norris angle.  Tabouli has 
established FLIRTIAC as something close to canon fact.  The thing is 
water-tight.  And in the face of FLIRTIAC, you haven't even 
mentioned Mrs. Norris as part of Turncoat!Filch."

"Mrs. Norris?" Cindy repeated.  "Oh, that's *easy.*  Mrs. Norris is 
a cat.  A plain old boring cat.  She's not part kneazle.  She's not 
an animagus.  She didn't drink some Kitty Gro potion.  Nope, Mrs. 
Norris is just your garden variety, furniture-scratching, litter-box-
filling, hairball-hacking feline.

"Did ya hear that, Tabouli?"  Cindy threw her head back suddenly and 
called out to the heavens.  "MRS. NORRIS IS JUST A PLAIN OLD 
EVERYDAY HOUSE CAT!"

There was a white flash of lightening and a thunderclap that shook 
the windows.  The halogen bulb flickered and buzzed in the eerie 
silence.

George took a step backward and swallowed.  "Uh, maybe we'd better 
call it a night.  I kept the place open a bit late, but I really 
should get home to the Missus before dawn," he said.

Eileen gasped and advanced on him, her hands balled into 
fists.  "You're *married?*  You've been dating me and flirting with 
every skirt in town, and you're *married!  Why, you low-down, 
cheating, two-timing -– "

"Relax, babe," George laughed, easing his bare arm around Eileen's 
shoulders.  "Who said anything about marriage?  The Missus isn't my 
wife.  I mean, me?  Married?  That would just be so *wrong!*  No, 
the Missus is my red convertible, remember?  And like I said, it's 
getting late."

He shooed the others out the door of the Tavern and flipped the 
deadbolt behind him.  "Would you like a ride, Eileen?  Come on, 
it'll be a blast.  I'd like you to teach me a little something about 
redemption, if you have the time."

Cindy

************
For an explanation of the theories in this post, check out 
Hypothetic Alley at

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/files/Admin%
20Files/hypotheticalley.htm
 
and Inish Alley at
 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/database?
method=reportRows&tbl=13