TBAY: MAGICAL DISHWASHER's third strain QB (a side venture from Spy!Snape)

[abigailnus]

No: HPFGUIDX 47032

Abigail is at sitting at the bar at the TBAY saloon, nursing the Pina 
Colada that she - sigh - finally bought off George, waiting for 
Grey Wolf and Pip!Squeak to address some of her earlier comments.  
Not that it's ever boring at the TBAY saloon - why, just a few 
minutes ago the Sirius Apologists arrived unexpectedly and caused 
quite a ruckus.  Abigail is just settling in to watch the show when 
the saloon doors burst open and in a girl runs in, panting and 
clutching her side.  She gets a tall orange juice from George and 
makes a bee line for Abigail.  She cocks her head and asks, "Are you 
Abigail?"

Abigail looks up with a quizzical look, although that may be the fact 
that, in another TBAY universe, she's just been called a 'lady', "Yes.  
Who are you?"

"I am Melody.  I am that ellusive third member of the MD defense 
that hasn't quite earned her wings yet."

Abigail sniffs in her glass, "And let me guess.  Tonight is the night.  
Please.  Sit down little girl and let me explain to you about your love of 
this precious little theory."  

"Now," Abigail says rather business like, "MD is a theory like any 
other.  A theory that should be built on canon.  Which it is, I am not 
refuting that.  Now since it is built of canon, it should therefore be 
confirmed in later canon.  It is only fair."

"No,"  Melody says flatly, twirling the straw in her OJ.  "I say you 
are wrong, a theory does not have to be proven in the next three 
books to stay a good theory.  There are often motives that 
always stay hidden.  Not all means are shown, and just because 
they might not be does not mean it did not happen or that they 
are not important enough to tell.  Some things are better left 
unsaid and just implied.  All that we should be content with, and 
Harry should be content with for that matter as Dumbledore seems 
to want, is that Voldemort is gone."

"I see."  Says Abigail flatly.  "So what you're saying is that MAGIC 
DISHWASHER is subject only to a direct contradiction from within 
canon.  I find that very convenient.  May I ask what makes MD so 
special?"  She smiles mirthlessly.  "Because I could just as easily 
argue that the depravities that Arthur perpetrated while under the 
Imperius curse are too much for his young children to hear, and that 
therefore we should be content that he is a happy, well-adjusted 
person, and suffice ourselves with the implication that there was a 
darker undertone to his life - one that is better left unsaid."

"Well, yes, I suppose we could."  Melody concedes, a bit 
uncomfortable.

"No, we could not!"  Exclaims Abigail.  "And if you believe that we 
could than I am afraid we have come to a parting of the ways.  
You have left me, and other MD objectors, with no means of 
arguing against the theory.  If we claim that Dishwasher is out of 
character for, say, Dumbledore, you pull out the fireman analogy 
- which I came up with, by the way - and leave us looking like 
sentimental fools.  If we argue that the theory puts Dumbledore 
at the center of the books, you cry 'Metathinking!', even though 
many of us find the idea of treating the books as if they took 
place in the real world just as problematic.  And now you claim to 
be canon-proof?  And make no mistake about it, claiming that you 
don't need verification in canon is just a hop and a skip away from 
claiming that all canon contradiction is, in fact, a lie or a 
misdirection."  Abigail pauses and realizes that she may have just 
gone too far.  Certainly Melody seems a bit upset.  "I'm sorry, but 
you don't get to set your own rules.  There are those of us who 
have legitimate concerns about MD, and you won't let us express 
them.  I hope you can understand how that makes me a bit upset.  
Anyway, what about my problems with the logistics of 
Dumbledore's actions?" 

"Are you second guessing the one wizard that is considered the 
greatest among all of WW?" Melody says shaking her head.  "If 
he cannot find a way.  No one will it seems.  After all, we have 
Fudge choosing to be lazy one-man fireman.  He says, 'Hey, *if* 
the time comes, we will be able to save the inhabitants.'  
Dumbledore is not that optimistic.  He knows better.  What he and 
the old crowd devise to bring down the fire hazard (i.e. Voldemort 
for those still clueless) *is* the best they can come up with.  
Whether you think it is still foolish is a Monday morning 
quarterback opinion."

"It is not when you have yet to offer convincing proof of the 
existence of Dumbledore's over-reaching master plan."  Abigail 
insists.  "So far, MAGIC DISHWASHER reads like Dumbledore is 
constantly rolling with the punches.  Whether or not he 
orchestrated the Philosopher's Stone ordeal, by the beginning of 
CoS he is already planning to ensure that Voldemort's return is 
acheived only through using Harry's blood - but look at all the 
elements he leaves to chance!  He needs Voldemort to have 
Pettigrew at his side, but that only happens because Sirius Black 
escapes from prison. I forget, does MD hold that Dumbledore 
knew Sirius was innocent before The Shrieking Shack?  If he didn't, 
then how exactly did he plan to provide Voldemort with a faithful 
servant to help his resurrection?  And if he did, then how could 
he be certain that Sirius would still be sane enough to escape 
Azkaban, that the Weasley's picture would be in the paper, that 
Scabbers would be in that picture, that Sirius would see the paper, 
that it would motivate him to escape, that he wouldn't be 
recaptured, and finally that The Shrieking Shack would even occur 
in a way in which Pettigrew would be released with a life debt to 
Harry?  There's simply too much here  that can go wrong if you 
ask me."  

"Now, I think it's great that Dumbledore has contingency 
plans, I would be very disturbed if he didn't, but contingencies to 
what?  What was the original plan to bring about Voldemort's 
return, presumably much later and with less additional deaths?  
I've yet to see a coherent form of that plan emerge from MAGIC 
DISHWASHER, and without it MD reads more like rationalizing the 
past.  In which case you're all right, of course - there's no point in 
predicting the future - you can just make the facts fit the theory 
after they happen."  

Abigail sighs.  "Now I am getting too strident, and this really isn't 
what I wanted to discuss anyway - nor is it what brought you here, 
am I right?  You came because of what I said about 
Dishwasher!Dumbledore."

"That's right."  Melody says. "You said that  Dishwasher!Dumbledore 
has two problems...."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"  Abigail cries.  "There you go, twisting my 
words right at the start!  At no point did I say that the two qualities I 
described Dumbledore as having were 'problems'.  I deliberately used 
the word 'trait'.  You are once again assuming that I've made a moral 
determination about Dishwasher!Dumbledore when in fact nothing 
could be futher from the truth."  She gives Melody an apprasing look.  
"You know, I don't think you DISHWASHER people are as morally 
relativist as you like to think.  And, boy, do you ever have a 
persecution complex!"

"Well, we are spies."  Melody says.  "It pays to be paranoid."

"I would check the equipment at the Safe House, if I were you."  
Says Abigail.  "Because you certainly heard me wrong."

"How can you claim that to say that Dumbledore puts the ends 
before the means and that he is a liar is not making a moral 
determination?"  Asks Melody.

"I don't say that - you do."  Abigail smiles impishly.  "MAGIC 
DISHWASHER is rather firmly based in the character of a pragmatic 
Dumbledore, who believes that sacrifices are necessary in order 
for the greater good to prevail - that sounds like putting the ends 
before the means to me.  And you'll note that I didn't say that 
Dumbledore ever utters an outright lie in order to deceive Harry."

"Yes you did!"  Melody exclaims.  "You said that Dumbledore lied 
to Harry when he suggested that Voldemort might never come to 
power.  Which, by the way, is conceivably a truth.  That *could* 
hypothetically happen."

"But Dumbledore has either already set events in motion or is 
about to set them in motion so that it won't."  Abigail insists.  
"You see, my problem isn't that Dumbledore doesn't spill his 
entire master plan (if such a thing even exists) in Harry's lap 
right then and there.  I'm talking about the person that 
Dumbledore is trying to get Harry to believe in.  So you needn't 
explain to me, yet again, why it's best to resurrect Voldemort 
now rather then wait in the hopes that he is never resurrected 
- I know that argument and it makes sense to me, but it's hardly 
germaine to this discussion.  Dumbledore is presenting one face 
to the multitude and another, far more pragmatic one, in private 
(I'm sorry I don't remember the exact Nathaniel Hawthorne 
quote - can someone help me?)."

"And you think that that is deceiving and he should not do that." 
says Melody.

"No, I don't think that."  Abigail is getting a bit exasperated.  
"There you go again attaching morality to an issue that has 
nothing to do with it.  It actually makes sense to me that 
Dumbledore is deceiving Harry.  In fact, it helps to eliminate one 
of the main problems I've always had with MAGIC DISHWASHER 
- how can the Dumbledore that we're presented with be the 
calculating spymaster MD expects us to believe in?  That answer
 is that he isn't.  The Dumbledore we're presented with doesn't 
really exist.  He's a creation suitable for young impressionable
 children.  Dumbledore is grooming heroes, and heroes don't 
tend to think in shades of grey.  There's not too much moral 
relativism in the hero mentality - you're either moral or you 
aren't - and that's the kind of person Dumbledore needs on the 
front lines.  At the rear, though, is where you find the people 
with a few more colors on their palate - they're the ones making 
the plans."  Abigail stops and frowns.  "Have you noticed how I 
keep providing arguments for a theory I don't even believe in?"

"There's always room in the Safe House for you, you know."  
Melody says sweetly.  "Come on, you know you want to!"

"No!"  Abigail stands up so quickly her bar stool clatters to the 
floor.  "Not until you agree that Dishwasher!Dumbledore no 
longer has the privilege to refuse Assassin!Snape.  Not with the 
blood of innocent people on his hands."

"On his hands!"  Melody gets up herself.  " Dumbledore is moral 
and does respect life.  Just because people die in the hands of 
Voldemort does not mean that it is Dumbledore's fault or that 
he *willed* it to be."

"Dumbledore set events in motion that brought about people's 
deaths."  Abigail says quietly.  "The fact that he isn't responsible 
for those deaths doesn't exonerate him from complicity in them.  
Or at least it shouldn't.  And here I *am* going to make a moral 
determination.  A Dumbledore who could look at the deaths of 
Bertha Jorkins, and Frank Bryce, and Cedric Diggory, and the 
many deaths that are coming and say 'I had no hand in that' *is* 
immoral, and I want nothing to do with him."

"My point,"  Melody says, in an equally quite voice, "is that 
Dishwasher!Dumbledore is working his campaign within a moral 
compass.  He would not condone a course of action that would 
definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, 100% mean someone 
would die."

"And my point."  Abigail replies, "Is that he already has, and that 
he no longer has the luxury of saying 'this is a line I won't cross'.  
Dumbledore passed the point of no return long ago - he is now 
committed to this course of action and *must* - if he is to maintain 
any credibility - stop at nothing to acheive his goal.  If he requires 
Snape to become a spy, and if Snape needs to offer Voldemort 
proof of his loyalty in the form of Karkarof's head on a spike, then 
so be it - otherwise God help them all."

"You do get very melodramatic about this point, don't you?"  
Melody points out.  "Did you practice that at home?"

"Yeah, a bit."  Abigail admits sheepishly.  "Was it too much?"

Abigail