TBAY: Baiting the Sirius Apologists (Banging On The Dishwasher )

[dicentra63]

No: HPFGUIDX 47131

--- In HPforGrownups at y..., "marinafrants" <rusalka at i...> wrote:
> --- In HPforGrownups at y..., "Cindy C." <cindysphynx at c...> wrote:
> > Cindy stepped onto the wooden dance floor at the center of the 
> > Tavern and slipped her wand from her uniform.  She took careful 
> aim 
> > at the wall and began to write:
> > 
> > ************
> > 
> > "What he really wanted (and it felt almost shameful to admit it to 
> > himself) was someone like – someone like a *parent*: an adult 
> wizard 
> > whose advice he could ask without feeling stupid, someone who 
> cared 
> > about him, who had had experience with Dark Magic . . . .  And 
> then 
> > the solution came to him.  It was so simple, so obvious, that he 
> > couldn't believe it had taken so long –- Sirius."
> > 
> > ************
> <snip>
> 
> > "Isn't this canon strange?  I mean, Sirius is supposed to be a 
> good 
> > guy.  He was on Dumbledore's team, and he is probably good at 
> > Transfiguration.  But there's nothing to suggest he knows the 
> first 
> > thing about Dark Magic.  We've never seen him perform any, and he 
> > hasn't even conjured a Patronus, so far as we know.  Yet here JKR 
> is 
> > hinting that Sirius is someone who 'had experience with Dark 
> > Magic.'  What could she be implying there, exactly?  That Sirius 
> is 
> > *Ever So Evil,* do you think?"
> 
> "Uhm..." Marina steps out from behind Dicey.  Her Sirius Apologist 
> robes are still freshly creased from the package, and the shiny 
> motorcycle boots she bought specifically for stomping on Sociopath!
> Sirius claims are only a lilttle scuffed, but she's doing her best 
> to look confident.  "Can I take that one?"
> 
> Dicentra and Cindy both nod.
> 
> "Well," says Marina, "it seems to me that 'had experience with Dark 
> Magic' is a rather vague phrase.  It can mean 'experience working 
> Dark Margic,' or it can mean 'experience dealing with Dark Magic.'  
> Now, Sirius grew to adulthood during the first Vold War, when Dark 
> Magic was running amock everywhere.  Now, theoretically, I suppose 
> it's possible that he spent the years between Hogwarts and Azkaban 
> doing macrame or writing reports on cauldron bottoms or something; 
> but in practice I think it's a pretty safe bet that he was out there 
> fighting the good fight alongside James and Remus and the rest of 
> the "Old Crowd."  And if that' the case, then Sirius has had 
> experience with Dark Magic in the same way that a homicide cop has 
> had experience with murder."
> 
> Marina smiles hopefully and looks to both Dicey and Cindy for 
> approval.
> 
Dicentra crumbles at Marina's feet, sobbing in gratitude.

"Yes, yes, that's the only answer.  Undoubtedly, the condition
'experience with Dark Magic' is meant to exclude Muggles, Ron,
Hermione, and other Hogwarts students."

Dicentra gets to her feet and fixes Cindy to the wall with a
bullet-like stare.  "And you call yourself a Sirius Apologist," she
sneers distainfully.

"Only when I need Sirius Apologetics," Cindy spits back.

"By the way," says Dicentra, as she turns on her heel and shepherds
her bespeckled companion away from the mess. "Great performance art."

--Dicentra, who would also like to chuck in two sickles for the
brilliant PASHMINAS