Thoughts on SHIPS

[Nicole L.]

No: HPFGUIDX 44781

Jessica said:

> I have to weigh in on this discussion of SHIPS and
> their importance to the HP series.

Thank you very much for doing so!  I thought your post
was brilliant and I am sorry to snip any of it as I
add my thoughts.  I sincerely hope that everyone on
the list read your post and, if they did not, I hope
they will go back and read it now.

> 
> There seems to be a climate of dismissiveness toward
> the development of romantic relationships amongst
> the Hogwarts students -- specifically Harry, 
> Hermione, and Ron. The inference, it seems to me, is

> that these types of relationships are trivial to the

> overriding action of the books. I could not disagree

> more.  Indeed, I believe they will prove vital to
the
> battle against Voldemort, the development of the 
> plot, and the survival/redemption of many of the 
> series' characters. 

I completely agree with you here.  While I highly
enjoy discussions of character motivation, symbolism,
etc., I have found that there are very few discussions
about romantic relationships and that when there are,
they are differentiated from other posts and often not
taken as seriously.  I think this is very sad as I
think that love is the most important thing in the
world and I would venture to say that it is *the*
central theme in this series.  

> 
> As much as one cant consider the romantic pairing
> of James and Lily Potter trivial, I dont think its
> fair for one to consider the pairings of Harry and 
> his contemporaries to be trivial. Dont get me 
> wrong  Im not at all interested in the series 
> dissolving into some silly teen Harlequin. In fact, 
> it seems to me that the these pairings will have far

> less to do with drippy romance, than with the 
> significance of two people finding they can 
> contribute something vital and lasting to each 
> other, something that will make them stronger, 
> braver, wiser, and more aware of their potential as 
> an individual. 

My thoughts exactly.  I don't want to see these books
become Harlequin romance novels either but the
presence of loving relationships between the
characters does not doom HP to become a cheesy
bodice-ripper of a series.  I would think it
completely abnormal if the characters did not form
romantic attachments because true love is the ultimate
form of comfort, security, and happiness for human
beings.  Our experiences with love have a huge impact
on who we become.  If I recollect correctly, JKR is a
fan of Jane Austen.  Those familiar with the
incomparable Miss Austen know that it is often through
the influence and guidance of their lovers that her
main characters overcome their worst flaws.  All this
is central to my belief that there will be a
Hermione/Ron pairing and a Harry/Ginny pairing and
that these couplings will be very important and very
influential to the characters.

As far as Ron and Hermione go, they have had a very
contentious relationship but I think that a lot of
this stems from the affection that they feel for each
other but have not yet acknowledged.  Conventional
wisdom tells us that when we care very, very deeply
for someone they are often the person we hurt the
most.  This is because we have so much vested in them
emotionally that the slightest word or glance from
them has a great power to wound us.  When Hermione and
Ron fight, it seems to me that they have the ability
to hurt one another much more than anyone else hurts
them.  Furthermore, the worst sting is when someone
that we truly care about points out one of our flaws
because we want to be something more for that person,
we don't want to be seen as flawed by them.  I believe
this is why Ron becomes so defensive when attacked by
Hermione.  In my opinion, he really wishes for her to
see him as someone special and so anytime she points
one of his flaws out to him it is especially painful. 
It's a constant reminder that, to his mind, he is not
good enough for her.  Is there anything more painful
than believing that we are not good enough for the
person we love?  There is also the issue or Ron's
behavior when Hermione goes to the Yule Ball with
Krum.  From the first time I read that scene, it
seemed blatantly obvious to me that Ron was crazed
with jealousy.  He had admired Krum and openly gawked
at Krum as if he were a god until Krum developed an
interest in Hermione.  Suddenly, Krum became public
enemy #1 and Ron was ripping the head off his Krum
figure.  He had assumed that Hermione would be
available to him and when he realized that she is seen
as an object of attraction by another person, he can't
handle it.  She's *his* Hermione and Krum has a lot of
nerve to think he can muscle in on Ron's territory.

As for Harry and Ginny, I admit that this was a
pairing that I did not think much about until rather
recently.  Of course I noticed that Ginny had a crush
on him as that's apparent from the books but in
reading through some of the posts on this group and
having some discussion with Lilac, I have realized
that there are several reasons why Ginny would be
perfect for Harry.  For one, there's the obvious
answer.  If Harry were to marry Ginny, he would become
a true member of the Weasley family.  For another,
Ginny is really the only other person in the WW who
has some idea of what Harry has suffered at the hands
of Voldemort.  She too has been tortured by him, which
is something that Ron and Hermione and most other
people in the WW cannot possibly understand and relate
to, at this point.  I think that Harry will find a
kindred spirit in Ginny and that's very important to
him because, as Jessica pointed out, he is very
isolated and seems to feel very alone.  When someone
is the victim of a crime or a terrible tragedy, they
often withdraw into themselves and feel that no one
else understands until they meet someone who has been
through the same experience.  This is why support
groups exist--once someone is shown that there are
others who understand what s/he is going through, s/he
is able to unburden him/herself before people who will
have carried similar burdens.  This shared experience
creates a safe environment and helps foster recovery. 
I think that Ginny and Harry will become a support to
one another and that, through this support system,
they will begin to heal.

> One final note: A lot of anti-SHIP speculation seems
> to center around the assumption that all of the dark
> and terrible things beginning to escalate in the WW
> would make infatuation/love/romance irrelevant or
> unimportant to the characters. Im not so sure about
> that. Ive done no research on this sort of thing,
> but its always been my understanding that, when 
> faced with danger or crisis, many people tend to 
> fall into relationships. In those types of 
> situations, emotions are running high and people are

> scared. Fearing death, some people confess to or act

> on feelings theyd hidden or were unaware of in the 
> past. Or they turn to others for support and comfort

> and for the escape that affairs or love can bring. 

This is a very good point.  After 9/11, many couples
in the U.S. got married right away.  They came to
realize that life can be unexpectedly short and that
it was important to them to find a partner with whom
they could share their hopes, dreams, and fears.  I
know that I personally came to appreciate the fact
that I have a husband and life partner more than ever
as a result of the attacks.  I think that
relationships during a time of crisis not only offer
support, comfort, or escape, but they also provide a
person with a motive to keep on fighting rather than
accepting defeat and giving up.  Human beings are
always more motivated to fight when there is something
precious to them at stake.  Besides that, I think that
the WW will find it necessary to find something
beautiful in the midst of a time of great fear.  This
is already exemplified when Harry gives Fred and
George his tournament winnings because he feels that
the WW will need a laugh during the times to come.  I
think that the romantic relationships that H/R/H will
form in future books will be life-afirming to them and
remind them of the great goodness that exists in the
world, even in the face of great evil.

> -Jessica, who is an eternal big mouth 

~Nicole, who thinks Jessica is not a big mouth. 
Instead, she thinks that Jessica is very eloquent and
has started a very thought-provoking discussion.

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