[HPforGrownups] Mrs. Weasley

[Sheryl Garfio]

No: HPFGUIDX 44879

Richelle wrote:
>Ron's
> next comment was "Why is everything I own rubbish?"  Quite sad, coming from
> a fourteen year old.  Considering he's felt that way at least since he was
> eleven.  Most families who are poor manage in such a way that the children
> usually don't even know it until they're grown and look back.  

Then Karie replied:
> I have to disagree.  When you're poor, there's no hiding it--you
> might not know it at age 4, but certainly long before you're 11 you
> know there's no money.

Plus, people like Malfoy sure don't ever let him forget it.

Ron is in the most difficult position among the siblings.  He is the youngest
of 6 boys, so everything he has is as worn out as it's going to get.  Then
Ginny, being a girl, gets new stuff (at least her clothes and gender-specific
toys).  This can seem awfully unfair to an 11-to-14-year-old.  He also gets the
short end of the stick when it comes to attention.  He's not a stand-out like
Bill, Charlie, or Percy, nor is he a screw-up like the twins.  He's just
average, so it would be typical for his parents to just assume he's okay and
not give him any special attention.  When you have that many children, you're
always putting out fires (perhaps literally in the twins' case) - attending to
the child who is in need *right now*.  In Molly's case, it doesn't even seem to
matter if the child in need is not hers - Harry's problems are as urgent to her
as any of her own children's problems.  After all, what's one more child?  She
has a strong need to fix other people's problems, as long as their problems are
not money-related.  Ron's current problem is money-related, which she can't do
anything about, so she dismisses it ("Fine, go naked").  This is the one area
where she is helpless, and I get the impression that her seemingly cold remarks
to Ron stem from this helplessness.

Still, Ron often defends his mother.  On the train in PS/SS, he makes a comment
about how she always forgets that he doesn't like corned beef, but quickly adds
that she doesn't have much time.  When he opens his Weasley sweater at
Christmas, he complains that she always forgets that he hates maroon, but then
quickly changes the subject to Harry's sweater, knowing that Harry has never
had Christmas presents and that the sweater would be a big deal to him (thereby
putting Molly in a good light for including Harry).  He complains about
*material* things, but whenever his complaints spill over onto his mother, he
quickly excuses her.  He seems to be trying very hard to love his mother in
spite of her shortcomings: it's not *her* fault that everything is rubbish, but
then whose fault is it?  Large families can be very problematic in this
respect.  If they hadn't had so many children, there wouldn't be so many
demands on Arthur's salary, and indeed Molly may have been able to contribute
financially as well, and she would have more time to pay attention to each
child... but there would be no Ron.  I doubt any mother of many children wishes
the younger ones hadn't been born because now they are poor.

On the other hand, incidents like this do bother me as a parent.  My husband
comes from a large, poor family, and his mother can tell me details about every
one of her 11 children.  If my husband hated maroon, she would know that and
she would *never* make him a maroon sweater.  Why bother?  If she's going to
buy the wool and spend the time, then why not spend the same time and money
knitting a sweater in each child's favorite color?  The gift represents a
commitment of time on Molly's part, but it comes up short.  She sends
sandwiches on the train, again an investment of time rather than money, but why
not send something that none of the children dislikes?  Of course, it could be
that Ron is just determined to hate *everything* his mother does that stems
from their poverty.  But I would like to see Molly at least pay attention to
little things she can do for each child that don't cost extra.  These are the
little things that enrich the lives of poor kids (indeed, *all* kids), and that
they remember as adults - we never had anything, but Mom always knew my
favorite color.

Sherry - who is not sure whether her point was to defend Molly or to attack
her...


=====
"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers."

      -Dave Barry, "Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn"

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