TBAY: Arthur Weasley With Imperius Curse and Small Craft Advisories

[ssk7882]

No: HPFGUIDX 45290

REPENT!  THE END IS NIGH!

Says the writing spray-painted on the wall of Hypothetic Alley.  


The Alley is eerily deserted these days.  Many of the shops are 
closed and locked, hastily hand-written signs ("Early storm 
closing," "Back for OoP," "Gone fishing...INLAND") hung in their 
windows.  Old newspapers and discarded chocolate wrappers skitter 
across the cobbles, borne along by the disturbingly cold wind which 
has been picking up speed ever since sometime in September.  Other 
than the howling of the wind, the only sound to be heard is the 
frantic hammering of those few intrepid shopkeepers who have already 
begun to prepare; they stand on rickety ladders, nailing thick 
protective boards up over their windows and doors.  

Down at the shore itself, stalls have been left abandoned, the docks 
are desolate.  Cigarette butts and grease-spotted wrappings litter 
the bases of the bins along the promenade, each one cheerily 
labelled "KEEP THEORY BAY TIDY!"  (People have been far less willing 
to pick up the trash ever since the construction of the Safe House at 
the far end of the Bay.)  A child's bucket and spade sits beside a 
half-completed sand castle on the empty strand.  

Hoarse shouts of workmen drift down from the seawall above the 
promenade, where a host of citizens is gathered together, hefting 
huge bags of sand up onto the woefully inadequate barrecades.  They 
yell and gesture and groan as they bustle, every last one of them 
casting frequent nervous glances above them, to the weather station 
flagpole on the headland high above the Bay.

Ever since September, there has been a flag flying from that pole.  

A single red flag, with a black square in the center.  

Small craft advisory.  

Hurricane watch.


**********************************************************************

Veronica walked along the strand, her head bowed over message number 
37121.  She was so engrossed in her text that she failed to notice 
the wild-eyed madwoman stumbling in the opposite direction until they 
had physically collided.

"Repent!" screamed the madwoman.  

Veronica staggered backwards, staring.  The woman was coated with 
grime and covered with scratches.  Her clothing was ripped and 
tattered, her hair matted into a single snarl.  Her eyes rolled 
wildly in their sockets.  

"Repent!" she screamed again.  "The day of reckoning is at hand!  Oh, 
can't you smell it on the air?  Can't you hear it in the wind?"

Veronica took another step backwards, but the woman reached out and 
caught her sleeve in one claw-like hand.

"Didn't you hear about the BBC interview?" she shrieked.  "Oh, it is 
later than you think!  It is later than you think!"

"Let go of me!" cried Veronica, tugging at her sleeve.  "You--"  The 
filthy remains of a set of battered featherboas around the woman's 
neck caught her eye.  She stopped and stared.

"It's *coming!*" howled the madwoman.  "Batten the hatches!  Weigh 
the anchors!  Lower the--"

"Elkins?" gasped Veronica.

The woman stopped.  She blinked twice.  Her grip on Veronica's sleeve 
loosened.  

"Is that really you, Elkins?"

Slowly, the woman let go of Veronica's sleeve.  She raised her hand 
to her eyes, then turned quickly away.

"I..." she muttered.  "I...did go by that name.  Once.  A long time 
ago.  But that was before...before...OH!"  She cried.  "It's *coming!
*  The Author!  She is coming back to claim what is Hers!  She will 
divide the Righteous from the Unrighteous, and the Faith-ful from the 
Subversive!  She will--"

"Elkins," said Veronica sternly.  "I have been trying to *find* you.  
I did try to send you an owl, but it seems to have gone to Dicentra 
instead..."

"Owl?"  Elkins shook her head slowly.  "Oh, no," she muttered.  "No 
owls reach old Elkins these days.  No, no, no.  Elkins is 
unplottable, you see.  Every bit as unplottable as OoP."  She laughed 
shrilly.  "Unplottable, yes!  Yes!  Unplottable!  Or so they *said!*"

"Elkins--"

"I..."  Elkins shook her head again.  "No, no, listen, listen to me, 
don't listen to me, just listen.  You really mustn't be out here like 
this, you know.  Not now.  Not these days.  It's just not *safe* here 
anymore.  There's a storm coming, you see.  Such a storm.  Such a big 
storm."  Her head rolled on her neck, and an insane grin spread 
across her face.  "A Perfect Storm," she whispered.

Veronica shivered, then took a deep shaky breath.

"Elkins," she said firmly.  "I am not worried about the storm.  The 
storm does not concern me.  Because I know, you see, that Arthur 
Weasley really *was* under the Imperius Curse."

"Arthur Weasley?"  Elkins raised her head, something flickering in 
her eyes.  "Imperius Curse?"

"*Yes.*  I've been trying to--"

"There's..."  Elkins swallowed hard.  "There's quite a bit canon for 
that, you know.  For Arthur Weasley.  With Imperius Curse."

"I *know.*  I've been trying to talk to you about it.  Where on earth 
have you *been?* What *happened* to you?"  

"I..."  Elkins shuddered helplessly.  "I've been having terrible 
dreams," she whispered.  "Terrible, terrible.  So terrible.  I dreamt 
that it was two weeks from now, and Bloomsbury and Scholastic had 
both released the Order of the Phoenix simultaneously, as a 
'Halloween Surprise.'  And...and...and...and our membership soared to 
over a thousand, overnight.  There were three hundred new messages 
being posted every *hour.*  And nobody was snipping.  And Yahoo kept 
crashing.  And...and...and..."  She took a deep breath, then burst 
into tears.  "And none of the *FAQs* were done!" she wailed.  She 
dropped to her knees and covered her face with her hands, rocking 
back and forth and sobbing uncontrollably.  

Veronica glanced down at the SYCOPHANTS badge pinned to Elkins' 
lapel.  She sighed.

"Yes, yes, yes," she said soothingly.  "There, there.  Pull yourself 
together, Elkins.  We all knew that it had to happen sooner or 
later.  We've known that for years.  It had to happen sometime.  No 
good worrying about it, right?  What's coming will come, and..."

"And we'll meet it when it does?" choked Elkins, sniffling.

"Yes.  That's right.  So just...er, take deep breaths.  Try to relax."

Elkins nodded slowly.  She took a few deep breaths, wiped her nose on 
her sleeve, and then hiccuped.  Veronica shook her head.

"Dicentra sent me this old post of yours about Arthur Weasley with 
Imperius," she explained, handing the scroll down to Elkins.  "But 
I'm a bit confused by it.  Some of the canon seems to be missing.  Do 
you think that you could help me with it?"  

"Help you?"  Elkins repeated numbly.  "I...let me see."  She took the 
scroll and unfurled it, her hands trembling.  She squinted down at 
it.  "Ah, yes," she said hoarsely.  "Message 37121.  Yes.  Canonical 
evidence for the supposition that Arthur Weasley was a victim of 
the Imperius Curse during the war.  Yes.  Yes, yes, it's all coming 
back to me now."  

"Is it all there?"

"Well, let's see now."  Elkins reached up to straighten her bent and 
mangled spectacles.  "Evidence that there really were genuine victims 
of the Imperius Curse.  Yes, that's right.  Mulciber was said to 
specialize in the Imperius.  Both Hagrid and Sirius talk about the 
terror of not knowing who was really trustworthy back then.  So it 
certainly does seem that there were real Imperius victims, as well as 
all of those DEs..."

"Yes," said Veronica quietly.

"And then we have Ludo Bagman's trial.  That the DEs bothered to 
target Bagman suggests that younger ministry officials were often 
chosen as targets for persuasion or other forms of coopting..."

"Yes."

"And then there's all of this canonical suggestion that Arthur 
Weasley might hold a particular grudge against Lucius Malfoy.  That 
could just be due to political differences, of course, as well as to 
lingering schoolboy rivalries.  But it could also be because Lucius 
falsely claimed the same excuse to which Arthur had a truly 
legitimate claim."

"Yes."  

"And then there's Crouch/Moody's DADA class..."

"Oh, I really like that part!" Veronica interjected.  "I love the 
symmetry (as you described it) of that scene. It says so much about 
Moody!Crouch that he brings attention to Neville in regards to 
Cruciatus (which for some reason is always Crustaceous in my head), 
and Harry in regards to AK. It just adds a nice parallel that if 
Arthur had been enslaved at some point by the Imperius that he call 
on Ron."

Elkins blinked, then smiled.  "That's always been my favorite part 
too," she admitted shyly.  "It's the lynchpin of the entire theory, 
really."  She glanced back down at the scroll in her hands.  "And 
then there are those hints of a Weasley vulnerability to Imperius..."

"It does make sense that some families might be more vulnerable to 
the Imperius curse," said Veronica. "After all children of alcoholics 
are more likely to be alcoholics. Perhaps there is a gene that some 
have that make them less able to fight off that curse. That would 
explain why Ron has a more difficult time with that curse in DADA 
class."

"It could be," agreed Elkins.  "Also, Ginny succumbed quite readily 
to Riddle's diary, which would seem to be a similar type of magic, 
don't you think?  Mental domination.  You really do have to be 
careful with this one, though," she warned, looking up owlishly from 
the scroll.  "This one can get you into some trouble.  A lot of 
people balk when it comes to this piece of canon, because they don't 
like the idea that such a weakness might be genetic, rather than a 
matter of pure personal willpower.  They find that notion very 
thematically shaky.  And many people also point out that none of the 
students in Harry's class has very much luck with the Imperius 
Curse..."

"Yes, Susanne said that," said Veronica.  "She provided this canon, 
from Chapter Fifteen:

> Lavender Brown imitated a squirrel. Neville performed a series of 
> quite astonishing gymnastics he would certainly not have been 
> capable of in his normal state. Not one of them seemed to be 
> able to fight off the curse, and each of them recovered only when 
> Moody had removed it.

"Susanne has a point," admitted Elkins.

"Yes," said Veronica.  "But Susanne *also* gave us this bit of canon, 
from the same chapter:

> ***************
>
> and after the class
>
> ***************
>
> "Yeah, I know," said Ron, who was skipping on every
> alternate step. He had had much more difficulty with the curse
> than Harry, though Moody assured him the effects would wear off by
> lunchtime. 
> ***************

So while it's true that nobody other than Harry could resist the 
curse, Ron is still the only person that JKR specifies actually 
suffering from lingering after-effects *after* the class!"

"Why, yes!" Elkins flashed a slightly startled smile.  "Yes!  Well 
done!"

"But as for myself," Veronica continued thoughtfully.  "I think Moody 
is the key to this whole theory.  Why was it Arthur who had to help 
out Moody the morning the kids left for Hogwarts?"

"An excellent question!" exclaimed Elkins, sitting up straighter.  
"And why is Molly so quick to rebuke the Twins for making fun of the 
paranoid old coot?  In fact, I think that I talked about that 
somewhere in this post..."

She looked down at the scroll in her hands, then frowned.  She turned 
it over.  She shook her head. 

"Now that's odd," she said.  "I could have sworn that...OH!  Oh yes, 
I see now.  This is only the *short* version.  That's why you 
couldn't find all the canon in it."

"That's the *short* version?"

"Yes.  There's a longer one that I posted later on.  One with more 
canon.  And options on Missing Weasley Child and Seventh Son, as 
well.  And even a Filicide!Arthur option, if you like that sort of 
thing."

"I don't," said Veronica rather severely, frowning at Elkins' bloody 
featherboas.

"I'm sure that I have it here somewhere..."  Elkins fished about in 
her pockets, then pulled out an even thicker document.  "Ah, yes.  
Here it is."

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/message/40168

"This one also adds Arthur's reluctance to expose himself to the 
Veela's charms at the QWC," explained Elkins, handing it up to 
Veronica.  "And evidence of a Voldemort-related skeleton in the 
Weasley family closet.  And--"

"And Moody?" asked Veronica excitedly.

"And Moody."

"Moody and Arthur's relationship interests me," said Veronica.  "It 
could just be that they are old friends, but my gut tells me there is 
something more here. Perhaps, as I think you suggested (forgive 
me if it was someone else), it was Moody that investigated his case. 
I personally don't see Moody doing much investigating; I think 
perhaps he "caught" Arthur, or the person doing the spell, and broke 
the spell.  Still, I think Moody was involved in clearing his name, 
thus the deep respect on Arthur's part."

"Hmmmm."  Elkins thought about this for a moment.  "Well, I do think 
that Moody was probably an investigator," she said.  "Certainly Snape 
seems utterly unsurprised at the idea that Crouch/Moody might be 
searching his office.  And when Crouch/Moody congratulates Harry and 
Hermione on having the right mindset to become Aurors, he's talking 
about investigative thinking, isn't he?  Detective work."

"But still," she added.  "Even if you're right, even if all that 
Moody did was to bring Arthur in for questioning -- you know, 
*without* actually AKing the poor man or Crucio'ing him or using the 
Imperius to make him come quietly -- well, that in and of itself 
would have been enough to earn Arthur's gratitude, I should think.  
After all, we know how *some* Aurors were behaving themselves back in 
those days.  So whether Moody actually investigated Arthur's case or 
helped to break the curse or merely apprehended him, it still works 
out."

"True," said Veronica.

"Of course," added Elkins.  "This canon *is* the one that tends to 
bring all of those 'Arthur Weasley Was Himself Once An Auror' people 
out of the woodwork.  I've never cared for that one myself, although 
its adherents are lovely people, and they do scout up some 
interesting canon.  Still.  Imperio'd!Arthur just makes more sense to 
me."

"There's no reason he can't be both," pointed out Veronica.  "He 
could have been an Auror *and* under the Imperius Curse."

"Oh, I suppose so," said Elkins irritably.  "I just don't *like* 
Auror!Arthur, that's all.  It doesn't work for me at all on the 
grounds of characterization.  But whatever.  If you like Arthur as an 
Auror, then that's okay.  De gustibus, and all that."

"I have another piece of evidence for Imperio'd!Arthur, I think," 
offered Veronica shyly.

"You do?"  Elkins brightened.  "What is it?"

"Well," said Veronica.  "Another idea, perhaps part of the reason 
Arthur never advanced far in the MOM, apart from his love of all 
things Muggle, is that he is still partly ashamed of what he might 
have done--even though he wasn't conscious of his actions."

Elkins thought about this for a moment.  Then, suddenly, she smiled.  
She rummaged through her pockets, pulled out a small canon, and laid 
it down on the sand with an ill-concealed air of triumph.

"How's *that?*" she asked.

The canon read:

>    "There is work to be done," he said. "Molly... am I right in
> thinking that I can count on you and Arthur?"
>
>     "Of course you can," said Mrs. Weasley. She was white to the
> lips, but she looked resolute. "We know what Fudge is. It's Arthur's
> fondness for Muggles that has held him back at the Ministry all
> these years. Fudge thinks he lacks proper wizarding pride."

"Now why is Molly so quick to leap to her husband's defense like 
that?" asked Elkins excitedly. "She sounds just a wee bit defensive 
there, don't you think?  She's very keen to pin her husband's 
lack of promotion on his political beliefs, and on Fudge's.  But why 
must she feel the need to say as much?  And why bring it up right 
after Dumbledore has asked if he can *count on* them?  And why 
is she white to the lips?  What is she really responding to with this 
statement?"

"She's responding to what she fears might be Dumbledore's implication 
that Arthur cannot be counted on because he was once under the 
Imperius Curse," answered Veronica promptly.  "*And* to the unspoken 
implication that his lack of advancement in his job might be due to 
his unfortunate past, rather than to Fudge's political bias."

"Yes!"

"Imperius Curse," said Veronica simply.

"Imperius Curse," agreed Elkins.  

They smiled at each other.

"Oh!"  Elkins jumped.  "I nearly forgot!  I have a new Imperio'd!
Arthur canon as well." She reached into her pockets again.  
"Actually," she admitted, "I outright stole this one from Eileen 
Lucky_Kari.  But since we're on this topic...  Ah.  Here it is."

She pulled out another small canon, this one from PoA, and lay it on 
the sand beside the first.  This one read:

>     "Forget it, Harry," said George bracingly. "Dad had to go out 
> to Azkaban one time, remember, Fred? And he said it was the worst 
> place he'd ever been, he came back all weak and shaking.... They 
> suck the happiness out of a place, dementors. Most of the prisoners
> go mad in there."

"Curious, isn't that?" asked Elkins.  "Why does someone in Misuse of 
Muggle Artifacts visit Azkaban?  That doesn't really seem part of his 
job description, does it?  And George's phrasing is rather ambiguous 
as well.  It's possible that he's just recounting something that 
their father once *told* them happened, rather than an actual 
memory.  Did the Twins actually *see* their father come back all weak 
and shaking?  Or is George just saying that Arthur *said* that he 
came back weak and shaking?  Is George reminding Fred of an actual 
event, or of being told an anecdote?  Could Arthur have altered the 
details slightly, so that he could tell the Twins about Azkaban 
without actually admitting that he'd ever been imprisoned?"

"Why would Arthur want to tell his children about Azkaban at all?" 
asked Veronica.

"If you had children like the Twins," answered Elkins grimly, 
fingering her PRATTLESNAKES badge.  "Wouldn't *you* want to impress 
upon them the horrors of Azkaban?"

"Well...maybe," conceded Veronica dubiously.  "Maybe I would.  But 
Arthur was acquitted, surely.  So would he ever really have been 
guarded by dementors?"

"Yes, quite likely he would have, because in the Penseive scene, 
Barty pleads with his father not to send him *back* to the dementors, 
even though he is not found guilty until the end of the scene.  So it 
would seem that prisoners are held by the dementors even while 
awaiting trial.  And that means that even though Arthur was 
eventually acquitted, he still could have spent some time in Azkaban, 
the poor man."

"LAW CAMERA," murmured Veronica.  

"What?"

"Lovable Arthur Weasley Controlled And Manipulated by Evil Riddle 
Anagram."

Elkins' jaw dropped.  "You *acronymed* Imperio'd!Arthur?"

"Twice.  I also came up with DARE DEVILS - Dear Arthur Ruthlessly 
Enslaved by Death Eater Villains to Instigate Lamentable Situations.  
It's all in the letter I sent you.  The one you never *got.*"

"Sorry," said Elkins.  "Yeah.  Um.  Sorry about that.  I was, er...I 
was..."  She looked down at herself and winced.  "Um," she 
said.  "I'm really rather a mess, actually.  Aren't I."

"You are, rather," said Veronica, not unkindly.  "But what I really 
wanted to know is: why does this theory not have a *vessel?*  Why 
does it not have a *name?*  Why couldn't I find it in any of the 
Alleys?"

"Well, nobody ever really cared enough about this theory to turn it 
into a vessel.  Usually poor old Imperio'd!Arthur just gets treated 
as a food item.  Teacakes, you know.  Crunchy canony goodness.  A 
filling and nutritious breakfast.  That sort of thing."

"Well, what good is that?" demanded Veronica crossly.  "I want to see 
this theory sailing out there in the Bay!  Why isn't it?"

"It's not my fault that no one ever made it into a ship!  I couldn't 
do it *myself,* you know.  It just isn't done.  So I waited and 
waited for someone else to make it into a vessel.  I hinted and I 
hinted.  For months on end.  But no one ever took the bait.  Unless, 
that is..."  Elkins looked away, blushing slightly.  "I mean, 
unless...you know.  If you...that is, only if you really wanted to, 
of course..."

"I don't know how."

"No?"  Elkins blinked.  "Oh," she said.  "Well, you just need to pick 
a nautical metaphor to represent the theory.  You need to literalize 
it, you know.  Concretize it.  Give it flesh.  Sort of like 
Voldemort's rebirthing ritual.  Except, er...less nasty, of course.  
Usually."  She picked herself up off of the beach and started 
brushing the sand off of her knees.  "So if you'll just give me time 
to work the terribly complicated and involved Literalysis ritual..."

"Yes?"

Elkins smiled slightly.  "Actually, I was lying about it being 
complicated and involved," she said.  "Look out in the Bay."

Veronica turned and looked out to sea.  Far out in the harbor, a 
large trimaran bobbed and lurched in the uncharacteristically choppy 
waters.

"Why a trimaran?" she asked.

"Oh, I don't know.  Because a trimaran is a ship with three hulls?  
For those three Unforgivable curses in the DADA class?  Symmetry?  
Although really, I'm not altogether sure whether three of something 
can technically be called symmetry.  But..."  Elkins sighed.  "Yeah, 
okay.  The trimaran's lame.  Sorry.  It was the best I could come up 
with.  After all, you can't expect *miracles,* can you?  Given that 
only two pages ago I was a gibbering lunatic, I think that I'm doing 
rather well, myself."  

"No, no," Veronica hastened to reassure her.  "It looks fine, 
Elkins.  Really.  I'm very impressed."

"You most certainly are," agreed Elkins grimly.

"What?"  Veronica blinked as Elkins advanced on her.  "What?" she 
cried.  "Ow!  What are you..."

"I'm *impressing* you.  There."  Elkins stepped back, tilted her head 
to one side, and then nodded. "Perfect.  You make a lovely Captain."

"What?"  Veronica raised a hand to the hat that Elkins had just 
shoved onto her head.  "I..."

"The trimaran's yours, Captain.  I bequeath it to you.  Now, you'll 
want to remember to add those two new canons." Elkins gestured down 
to the two new canons lying on the beach.  "And to tighten the screws 
on some of those old ones as well.  Especially the Weasley 
Vulnerability To Mind Control.  That's where you're weakest, you 
know, especially once the CRAB contingent comes out in force.  You'll 
also want to--"

"Wait!  Hold up!  I'm not sure that I *want* to--"

"Too late.  This *is* an Imperius Curse theory, after all.  So its 
Captain really *has* to have been ushered into service against her 
will, don't you think?  It's only proper."

"But isn't this really your--"

"Look," sighed Elkins.  "I'm really not very good at Captaining, to 
tell you the truth.  It just doesn't suit my persona.  TBAY!Elkins is 
a mad subversive theorist with histrionic tendencies, not an 
authority figure.  Whenever people try to make her into an authority 
figure, things get ugly.  Trust me.  You so totally do *not* want to 
go there."

"But--"

"The trimaran wound up rather larger than I intended, but I think 
that it will have to be, just to house all of those crewmembers that 
I just *know* you're going to be recruiting."

"But--"

"You'll do a great job.  I just know it.  Just don't forget to man 
the canons.  And save me a stateroom, if you would.  And a seat at 
the Captain's table.  And listen...let the Filicide!Arthur and the 
Auror!Arthur and the Seventh Son people have their own quarters, 
okay?  Even if you don't much like their versions of this theory, 
inclusivity is always a wise policy.  Just look at how well it worked 
for the Good Ship LOLLIPOPS!"

"I--"

"I'll bet Richelle will do a great job of keeping her fellow 
FEATHERBOAS-wearing Filicide fans in line.  She may be bloody-minded, 
but she's also compassionate.  Watch out for the Big Bang Destroyer.  
Imperio'd!Arthur *is* pretty Bangy, but you still don't want to let 
yourself get tied too closely to the Destroyer, because then you'll 
have to worry about Cindy and her Big Paddle.  Oh.  And don't serve 
too much PIE."

"Pie?"

"PIE.  Percy Is Evil.  I absolutely adore Percy.  So if I hear too 
much Evil!Percy talk coming from this ship, I'll be forced to come 
back and scuttle it.  Understood?"

"Um..."

"Oh," said Elkins.  "Right.  And one last thing, Captain.  I'd see to 
those lifeboats, if I were you.  Just in case, you know.  Just in 
case.  Because there *is* a storm coming."

"Yes," sighed Veronica.  "So I've heard."


**************************************

For further explanation of the acronyms and theories in this post, 
visit Hypothetic Alley at 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/files/Admin%
20Files/hypotheticalley.htm 
and Inish Alley at 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/database?
method=reportRows&tbl=13


***********************************


Elkins