TBAY: Operative!Arthur Meets Imperius!Arthur (WAS TBAY: Arthur Weasley With

[Cindy C.]

No: HPFGUIDX 45320

Cindy apparated to the deck of the Imperius!Arthur Trimaran and 
stood admiring Veronica's sparkling vessel.  The polished wooden 
deck gleamed in the sunlight and the place smelled vaguely of fresh 
varnish.  Dozens of new deck chairs were arranged in straight rows, 
each chair with its own cupholder and footrest.  A steel drum band 
pounded a soothing rhythm somewhere in the distance as shirtless 
cabin boys carried trays of tea cakes, waiting for the first guests 
to arrive.

"Nice vessel you got here, Veronica," Cindy said.

"Isn't it *great!* " Veronica said breathlessly.  "Elkins just gave 
it to me.  I mean, she's been working on it for months, and she just 
up and *gave* it to me.  Isn't she *amazing?*"

"Oh, she's amazing, all right.  No doubt about that.  But there's 
something you have to know here, Veronica.  TBAY!Elkins is, uh --"  
Cindy's voice broke, her mind suddenly filled with images of happier 
times on the Fourth Man Kayak.  "Elkins is . . . well . . . she's 
completely *crazy,* Veronica!  Barking mad, nutters, insane, all of 
it!  She did *way* too much subversion at parties in her youth, if 
you want my opinion.  It's really quite a shame.  She used to be the 
Great-Yet-Always-Accommodating Captain of the Fourth Man 
Hovercraft.  She used to defile the FLIRTIAC dinghy under cover of 
darkness.  She used to stage grand Symposiums and hold inspiring if 
somewhat poorly attended anti-SYCOPHANT defamation rallies."  Cindy 
sighed heavily.  "Elkins was good, all right.  A little too good.  
And insanity is the ugly stepsister of genius, as they say." 

"I've never heard anyone say—-"

"Oh, take my word for it, Veronica.  Anyway, these days Elkins has 
taken to roaming the beach pushing a shopping cart full of half-
baked theories, hawking them to newcomers who don't know any 
better.  Don't be taken in by her canon snacks, Veronica.  Believe 
me, you'll be sorry."

"I don't care," Veronica said defiantly.  "Elkins gave me a theory 
and a vessel, and I already have two snappy acronyms.  I -– I'm 
happy with that.  I am.  I really am."

"Oh, are you now?" Cindy asked, raising an eyebrow.  "Well, I have 
just one question, just a little one.  You, uh, want to explain to 
me how this Imperius!Arthur theory *Bangs,* Veronica?"

Veronica froze, her eyes wide.  There was an awkward silence.

"That's right, Veronica.  It doesn't Bang.  Not at all.  The thing 
is completely *mute,* in fact.  It doesn't make a sound.  So Arthur 
was put under the Imperius Curse.  So?  He was arrested long ago and 
cleared.  So?  Where is the future Bang there?  What does Imperius!
Arthur have to do with the coming war with Voldemort?"  

Cindy sighed.  "It's not your fault, Veronica.  Really, it isn't."  
She lowered her voice conspiratorially.  "Between you and me, Elkins 
has a certain flair for dead languages, but she never really puts 
her heart into Banging."

Veronica's shoulders slumped.  "You mean I have to scuttle the 
Trimaran?" she asked glumly.

"Not if I can help it.  There is another theory to explain all of 
Elkins' Arthur canons.  It's better in a lot of ways.  It Bangs, for 
one thing.  And it focuses on the upcoming battle instead of the 
past.  Let me explain.  And if you like it, it's all yours."

Cindy eased herself into one of Veronica's deck chairs, which 
groaned audibly under her weight.  She gestured Veronica into a 
nearby chair.

"I'm not buying Imperius!Arthur," Cindy began.  "No, not me.  I 
would like to propose Operative!Arthur.  Arthur Weasley was not some 
weakling underling MoM bureaucrat during Voldemort's rein of terror, 
controlled like a puppet on a string.  No way.  Arthur Weasley was 
an Unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries!  He was pivotal in 
the fight against Voldemort."

"What?" cried Veronica.  Her face hardened.  "Oh, you're making that 
*up.*  There's no canon at all for that ridiculous notion."

"Oh, think again, my friend, think again," Cindy said.  "Elkins has 
thoughtfully provided all the canon I need.  

"First of all, it is quite clear that Arthur is far more than a guy 
who goes around dealing with Muggle artifacts.  Let's look at 'The 
Parting of the Ways.'  Dumbledore fails in his effort to persuade 
Fudge that Voldemort has returned.  The minute Fudge leaves, what is 
the very first thing Dumbledore does?  Above all else, he wants to 
get in touch with Arthur:

***********

"There is work to be done," he said.  "Molly . . . am I right in 
thinking that I can count on you *and Arthur*?"

"Of course you can," said Mrs. Weasley.  She was white to the lips, 
but she looked resolute.  "We know what Fudge is.  It's Arthur's 
fondness for Muggles that has held him back at the Ministry all 
these years.  Fudge thinks he lacks proper wizarding pride."

"Then I need to send a message to Arthur," said Dumbledore.  "All 
those that we can persuade of the truth must be notified 
immediately, and he is well placed to contact those at the Ministry 
who are not as shortsighted as Cornelius."

***********

"So?" asked Veronica.

"Oh, this passage is very important.  Now, if Arthur was just some 
guy who dealt with enchanted muggle tea sets, why would Dumbledore 
be so very interested in contacting Arthur?  Geez, if Arthur had 
proven vulnerable to the Imperius Curse years before, Arthur would 
be the *last* person Dumbledore would want spreading the word about 
Voldemort, don't you think?  Dumbledore wouldn't go out of his way 
to line up a *weakling* to do an important job like round up people 
at MoM, would he?

"Heck, look at Dumbledore's dialogue again.  Molly starts blathering 
on about how Arthur isn't rewarded for his work at the Ministry.  
But Dumbledore doesn't even appear to have been *listening.*  
Dumbledore's statement about needing to send a message to Arthur 
isn't responsive to Molly's statement at all, is it?"

"I —- I never noticed that before," Veronica admitted.

"And Arthur is supposed to be this low-level bureaucrat who doesn't 
even make enough money to keep his children in proper robes and 
wands, right?  So why would Dumbledore think Arthur could 
contact 'those at the Ministry who are not as shortsighted as 
Cornelius' and could do so 'discreetly,'" Cindy asked.  "What better 
way to arouse suspicion than to have this low-level guy suddenly 
start creeping around the halls of MoM informing others who would be 
well-positioned to organize for the war."

"I don't know," Veronica said doubtfully.  

"Hey, the books are *filled* with clues that Arthur is way more than 
he appears to be.  The man has a *flying car,* for heaven's sake!  
And he seems to be awfully well-connected at the Ministry.  He can 
get prime QWC tickets, for his whole family, no less.  He is allowed 
to have Harry over the summers, Dumbledore's protection 
notwithstanding.  He is believed to be up to the job of protecting 
Harry on his trips to King's Cross when Sirius Black is on the 
loose.  He has a 'useful contact' at the Ministry who 'fixed it' to 
get the Dursleys' fireplace connected to the floo network."

"Maybe he's just popular," Veronica said thoughtfully.  

"Maybe, maybe.  But it just doesn't add up somehow.  Arthur is 
supposed to be a specialist in Muggle Artifacts –- you know, 
straightening out problems Muggles get themselves into when magic 
goes awry, right?  Well, let's look at "Back to the Burrow" at that 
whole Ton Tongue Toffee episode: 

*************

"No, really!" said Mr. Weasley desperately.  "It's a simple process 
-– it was the toffee -– my son Fred -– real practical joker -– but 
it's only an Engorgement Charm –- at least, I think it is -– please, 
I can correct it –-"

*****************

"Did you see that," Cindy asked.  "Mr. Weasley is supposed to be 
this expert at sorting out enchanted Muggle objects, and he's not 
even sure he has an *Engorgement Charm* on his hands there.  But he 
proves awfully good at *blasting* things in that scene, doesn't he?  
He blasts the Dursleys' fireplace without hesitation.  And he is a 
crack shot, too –- he blasts an ornament right out of Vernon's hand.

"Not only that," Cindy continued, "Arthur knows a great deal about 
the Sirius Black situation, doesn't he?  Molly isn't even sure that 
Black is after Harry; Rosemerta doesn't know about Black's betrayal 
of the Potters.  

"But Arthur?  Arthur knows *everything,* doesn't he?  He knows the 
whole story -– that Black is after Harry, that Fudge is trying to 
keep things quiet, even what Fudge heard Black mutter in his sleep.  
Why on earth is Arthur so darn chummy with the *Minister of Magic*, 
anyway?  'I've tried to tell Fudge, but he insists on treating Harry 
like a child', Arthur says.  What?  Since when does the Muggle 
Artifact guy bend the ear of the Minister of Magic like that?  And 
since when does a low-level employee -– someone who has supposedly 
been shunted off to the Muggle Artifacts department –- countermand 
the Minister of Magic and tell Harry about Black.

"And then there's Arthur's reluctance to expose himself to the 
Veela's charms -–" Cindy went on.

Veronica leaned forward in her chair.  "Oh, but Elkins has that 
angle covered.  She said Arthur's reluctance to expose himself to 
the Veela's charms at the QWC shows his vulnerability to the 
Imperius Curse. "

"What!?" Cindy cried.  "Where is the canon link between Imperius and 
Veelas?  That's a bit of a leap there, don't you think?  No, better 
is the idea that Arthur used to be an Unspeakable.  He knows all 
sorts of sensitive information.  He doesn't want to risk losing 
control because he's not sure what state secrets he might blurt out, 
right there in the Top Box.  As we can see when the men encounter 
the Veela in the forest later, men will say *anything* to gain favor 
with a Veela.  Arthur was just being smart to avoid that risk there.

"Not only that, there's that curious visit Arthur paid to Azkaban:

*********

"Forget it, Harry," said George bracingly. "Dad had to go out 
to Azkaban one time, remember, Fred? And he said it was the worst 
place he'd ever been, he came back all weak and shaking.... They 
suck the happiness out of a place, dementors. Most of the prisoners
go mad in there."

***********

"Wait!" Veronica implored.  "Elkins has a point there.  Why does 
someone in Misuse of Muggle Artifacts visit Azkaban?  He must have 
been imprisoned in Azkaban but was released when it was learned that 
he had been under the Imperius Curse --"

"Hold on," Cindy broke in.  "Arthur didn't go to Azkaban as a 
prisoner.  Heck, if he's so darn weak and susceptible to the 
Imperius Curse, he would have gone mad himself, don't you think?  As 
it was, he was just "weak and shaking."  And there's a reason for 
that.  Arthur visited Azkaban as an *Unspeakable.*  Probably doing 
undercover work posing as a prisoner, listening to what prisoners 
mumbled in their sleep, or maybe just interrogating prisoners there."

"Well, maybe," Veronica allowed.  

"And then there's the real clincher.  Arthur doesn't even *talk* 
like a Muggle Artifacts guy, really.  For instance, what do you make 
of Arthur's Big Warning:  'Never trust anything that can think for 
itself, if you can't see where it keeps its brain.'  Why would a 
Muggle Artifacts guy even *say* a thing like that?  

"Arthur seems to lapse into behaving like an Operative at times 
because old habits die hard.  Arthur is a veritable gold mine of 
information about things related to Dark Wizards.  He knows how the 
Dark Mark is conjured and used.  He knows Winky wouldn't know how to 
conjure it (although this seems to escape Amos Diggory).  He leads 
the charge after the dark wizards who are tormenting the muggles 
after the QWC.   Hardly the actions of a guy who spends all day 
pulling sugar tongs off of the noses of muggles, eh?"

"Well, I dunno," Veronica said.  "You make some good points, but I 
have two really cool acronyms for Imperius!Arthur:  LAW CAMERA 
["Lovable Arthur Weasley Controlled And Manipulated by Evil Riddle 
Anagram"] and DARE DEVILS [Dear Arthur Ruthlessly Enslaved by Death 
Eater Villains to Instigate Lamentable Situations]"

"So it's like that, is it?"  Cindy said quietly.  "I spin this 
*huge* theory for Operative!Arthur, just for you, and all you can 
think about is some snazzy acronym?  Well, two can play at this 
game.  In the past, I submitted all of my acronym requests to 
Tabouli.  Well, Tabouli's not here to save my bacon this time, so I 
will just have to do my own dirty work."  

Cindy cleared her throat significantly.  I 
submit:  "CLOAKANDDAGGERARTHUR [Covert Liaison Operative Arthur is 
the Key to Assured Non-violent Destruction of Diabolical Axis, with 
Global Governance and Equilibrium at Risk, from the Ascension of 
Ruthless Terrorists with Homicidal, Unspeakable Resolve]."

Veronica sat perfectly still, her mouth slightly open.  "I -— I 
didn't know you could acronym.  Where . . . what . . . how did you 
come up with that?"

Cindy shrugged.  "Sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do."  

She hauled herself out of her deck chair.   "And Veronica?  If you 
decide to stick with Operative!Arthur, you'll have to give some 
thought to the best kind of snacks to serve on your vessel.  
Everything associated with Unspeakables has this weird tendency to 
disappear."

************

Cindy

***********


For further explanation of the acronyms and theories in this post, 
visit Hypothetic Alley at 

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/files/Admin%
20Files/hypotheticalley.htm 

and Inish Alley at 

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/database?
method=reportRows&tbl=13