TBAY: Operative!Arthur Attacks Auror!Arthur

[abigailnus]

No: HPFGUIDX 45481

Abigail just can't believe her luck.  She was really enjoying her new 
cabin on the Imperius!Arthur trimaran - it was quite an improvement 
over the dorm rooms at Canon College - Stoned!Harry could be 
quite a difficult roomate.  And here she is, less than a week on board, 
up on disciplinary charges!

"I hope you realise the gravity of your situation, young lady." Says 
Captain Veronica, who is taking the loss of a Pina Colada very seriously.  =

"Your reckelss behaviour came very close to running this vessel 
aground!  Whatever do you mean by calling Imperius!Arthur 
unnecessary?"

"That's a dirty lie!"  Abigail cries.  "My words were taken out of context!=
  
I am a loyal crewmember on the Imperius!Arthur!"

"A reliable deckhand quoted you to me word for word."  Veronica says 
quietly.  "You would do well to tell me the truth."

Abigail opts, as a last resort, for honesty.  "Alright, so maybe I rocked 
the boat a little - but Cindy goaded me into it!  She was trying to say 
that without Imperius!Arthur, there's no reason for Arthur to keep his 
Auror past secret from his children, and I was trying to explain how there =

could be plenty of reasons for Arthur to do this even if he had nothing in =

his past to be ashamed of.  And as long as we're talking about rocking the =

boat, Cindy very nearly capsized it by torpedoeing the holy trinity of 
Moody's Unforgivable curses lesson!"

"I have already dealt with that matter, and this discussion is about you." =
 
Says Veronica, but she's beginning to look a bit less deadly, and Abigail 
senses that she may not be thrown overboard today after all.  However, 
there might be a way of making sure of that...

"To be honest, I'm not sure what Cindy is doing on this ship."  She adds, 
off-handly.

Veronica's face hardens, "What do you mean, crewmember?"

"Well, why is Operative!Arthur necessary, anyway?"  Abigail waves 
Veronica away as she begins to speak.  "I know, it's *bangy*.  But that 
implies that Auror!Arthur isn't bangy, which is patently not true."

"Auror!Arthur deals with the past, whereas Operative!Arthur addresses 
the coming battle."  Veronica parrots, but it's clear that Abigail's argume=
nts 
are getting to her.

"Auror!Arthur does indeed postulate about Arthur's past, but it's an unspok=
en 
and, I think quite obvious, assumption is that in the coming battle, Aurors=
 
will be needed.  We already know that Arthur is going to become part of 
'the new crowd'.  If he was indeed an Auror there is every reason to expect=
 
him to take up that task again in the new fight against Voldemort."  Abigai=
l 
crosses her arms in front of her.  "There - it's bangy *and* it deals with =
the 
coming battle - what is Operative!Arthur's distinction?  Except of course f=
or 
introuducing the concept of Unspeakable!Arthur, which is..."

"You already tried to argue against the logic of making Arthur an 
Unspeakable."  Veronica notes.  "And you fell flat on your face when it 
turned out that you misremembered the canon.  I have to tell you, I thought=
 
Canon College had higher admission standards.  *And* you tried to place 
Unspeakables on the GARBAGESCOW, which turned out to be quite a mistake."

Abigail hangs her head in shame, and to think that she got such good 
marks in Canon 101!  "That's true, it turns out that only Arthur identifies=
 
the two Unspeakables at the QWC, and that no-one else has reaction to them.=
  
And Cindy very astutely pointed out that those two Unspeakables worked for =

the department of Mysteries - the same department led by the DE spy 
Rookwood, which means that they belong anywhere but on the SCOW.  But I 
think I may have found a way to turn Cindy's canon against her.  In fact," =

Abigail beams, "I have a three-pronged attack!"

"Here on the trimaran, that's out favorite kind!" Criess Veronica.  "Do go =

on!"

"First," Abigail holds up one finger, "it's Arthur himself who identifies t=
he 
Unspeakables to Harry - if I may draw your attention back to 'Bagman 
and Crouch':

------------

"There was plenty to watch while they waited, however.  Their tent seemed 
to be pitched right alongside a kind of throughfare to the pitch, and Minis=
try 
members kept hurrying up and down it, greeting Mr. Weasley cordially as the=
y 
passed.  Mr. Weasley kep up a running commentary, mainly for Harry and 
Hermione's benefit; his own children knew too much about the Ministry to be=
 
greatly interested."

------------

"There follows the introduction of several Ministry members and their job 
description, including Bode and Croaker the Unspeakables.  The information =

is volounteered by Arthur.  Harry doesn't ask for it, and when he does ask =

what Unspeakables are, Arthur cheerfully adds the department for which 
the two work for.  Now, I ask you, is this good operative behaviour?  To 
admit to the existence of your professsion (and isn't the first defense of =
a 
spy the denial that he exists?) and identify by name and department two 
of your colleagues without even being prompted for the information?  I 
think not."

"Second,"  Abigail holds up a second finger, "Arthur is supposed to be a 
good guy, right?  His job as an operative is to look out for Dark Wizards 
and presumably use that knowledge to the benefit of Dumledore's side, 
right?  Then why are the only two Unspeakables we have ever been 
introduced to working for a department formerly under the leadership of 
a Death Eater Spy?"

"There's no reason to believe that the entire department is corrupt 
because it's former director was a spy."  Veronica points out reasonably, 
"In fact, GoF leads us to believe that every one of Rookwood's contacts 
was investigated after he was found out - even down to a foolish profession=
al 
Quidditch player like Bagman."

"True, but you can't deny that the first thing one associates with the titl=
e 
Department of Mysteries is Augustus Rookwood"

"The first thing Cindy associated with it, you mean."  Veronica points out.=


"Yes, thank you."  Abigail says testily.  "In fact, since we're talking abo=
ut 
associations, why don't we discuss the job title 'Unspeakable' for a moment=
?  
Yes, it's a clever pun it that it's a person of whom one is not allowed to =
speak, 
but what words do we usually attach in our minds to the word 'unspeakable'?=
  
Negative ones - unspeakable crime, unspeakable horror.  The connotation is =

not good.  Add to that the two men's names - Bode and Croaker - and one 
can't help but think of death and darkness.  The overall impression formed =
by 
the two-line introduction in 'Bagman and Crouch' and the Pensieve scene is =

that an Unspeakable is not a person you'd like to be associated with - hard=
ly 
descriptive of Arthur Weasley."

"But according to Cindy, Arthur is deep under cover."  Offers Veronica.

"Yes, but she has no canon to back her up!" Insists Abigail, "In fact, the =
only 
canon we have on Unspeakables is that Arthur freely identified two of them =

by name.  It's only Cindy's assumption that there are different kinds of 
Unspeakables, and that Bode and Croaker work for the department on 
Mysteries whereas Arthur is under cover - and assumption which is not borne=
 
out by the context.  Observe:"

-----------

"'That was Cuthbert Mockridge, Head of the Goblin Liaison Office ... her co=
mes 
Gilbert Wimple, he's with the Committe on Experimental Charms, he's had tho=
se 
horns for a while now ... Hello, Arnie ... Arnold Peasgood, he's an Oblivia=
tor - 
member of the Accident Magic Reversal Squad, you know... and that's Bode 
and Croaker .. they're Unspeakables ...'

'They're what?'

'From the Department of Mysteries, top-secret, no idea what they get up to.=
'"

-----------

"The way the sentence is formed seems to indicated that, just as Obliviator=
s 
work for Accidental Magic Reversal, Unspeakables work for the Department of=
 
Mysteries.  Which brings me to my third point."  Abigail raises a third fin=
ger.

"I was wondering how long this was going to take."  Says Veronica, who is 
getting quite tired of all this and wishing she was back in her deck chair =
with 
a fresh Pina Colada.  "Aren't your fingers starting to hurt?"

"It seems to me," Abigail continues, ignoring her, "that we have some 
radically divergent views on exactly how magical law enforcement works.  
Cindy has suggested that wizarding law enforcement is similar to muggle law=
 
enforcement.  She thinks that Aurors are like FBI agents - cops of varying =

degrees of skill and training."

Veronica gasps.  "Cindy said that?  But that's entirely unsubstantiated, an=
d 
even countered, by canon!  Aurors are clearly defined as Dark Wizard catche=
rs
 - nothing more or less.  The wizard cops are the Magical Law Enforcement S=
quad."

"Exactly."  Said Abigail. "And the Hit Wizards who caught Sirius were a spe=
cially 
trained sub-division of that squad.  Cindy has suggested that the Unspeakab=
les 
are one level more elite - they do the deep undercover stuff -– the James b=
ond 
kind of stuff.  But there she shoots her own arguement in the leg, because =
if 
Unspeakables have nothing to do with Aurors or catching Dark Wizards..."

"Then they have nothing to do with the upcoming battle and it is of very li=
ttle 
importance that Arthur is one of them!"  Exclaims Veronica.  "It's nothing =
more 
than a way of making him cool!  It isn't *bangy* at all because it has noth=
ing to do 
with the coming battle!"  She calms down and eyes Abigail warily, "You were=
n't so 
militant the other day.  You even tried to get Operative!Arthur and Auror!A=
rthur 
to get along."

"I did," Abigail admits with a sigh, "because I truly do see merit in some =
of Cindy's 
arguments - not the Unspeakable part, that makes no sense to me.  But I fee=
l that, 
if we take into account that Arthur used to be an Auror, the fact that he i=
s now 
*someone's* operative begins to make sense - it even becomes bangy again."

"But did you have to bring in the Dark Arts Defense League?"  Asks Veronica=
.  
"I mean, they made Gilderoy Lockhart and honorary member."

"Yes, but they also made Dumbledore a full-fledged member." Abigail points =
out. 
"And besides, the DADL was just a suggestion I threw out as an organization=
 likely 
to have hired Arthur as an operative after he lost his job as an Auror - an=
d I still 
think it's a likely suggestion.  You don't mention - twice - an organizatio=
n dedicated 
to fighting Dark Arts in a series in which the chief villain is a Dark Wiza=
rd unless 
you're planning to use them at some point."

"Hmmm, you might have a point there."  Veronica concedes.  "Well, crewmembe=
r, 
you've made some very good points.  Operative!Arthur is looking less seawor=
thy 
by the minute."

"I'm glad you think that."  Abigail says with a gleam of triumph clearly vi=
sible in her 
eye. "Because I think it's high time you pitched him overboard."

Veronica is taken aback.  "Throw him overboard!  I, who have been compared =

to Dumbledore himself in my willingness to give people second chances?  Wha=
t 
madness is this, woman?"

"Oh, come on!"  Abigail demands, "He's always at poor Auror!Arthur's throat=
, 
he's plainly redundant, and Cindy nearly capsized the ship trying to make a=
 point 
about him.  He's got to go!"

Veronica's eyes narrow.  "Are you sure that's what this is about?  Concern =
for 
the ship?"

"Of course," Says Abigail, a tad defensively.

Veronica begins to smile.  "Because from where I'm sitting it seems a bit l=
ike 
jealousy."

"Jealousy!  Hah!"  But Abigail is beginning to look a bit nervous.  "Whatev=
er 
have I got to be jealous of?"

"Well,"  Veronica offers, "Operative!Arthur does have an acronym."

Abigail says nothing.

"And it's such a long acronym too."  Prods Veronica.

"It is cumbersome."  Abigail sniffs.  "And I could have one too, if I wante=
d to, 
I could come up with one right now..."

"I seem to remember." Says Veronica silkily, "that you never completed 
Introduction to Acronym Generating.  Strange that.  I thought it was a 
required freshman course at Canon College."

Abigail stands up stiffly and heads for the door.  "I don't have to listen =
to 
this.  Good day, Captain."

Veronica stares at the slammed-shut door.  "Acronym-envy." She says and 
goes to order another Pina Colada.

Abigail