[FILK] One More Crouch In A Coffin

[Lilac]

No: HPFGUIDX 45659


Before we start, I want to apologize for sending my last FILK twice yesterday.

When I pushed "send" the first time, Yahoomort went to a "page can not be 

displayed" page.  When it did the same thing the second time, I decided to check

my Sent folder, and low and behold, Yahoomort did send it the first time and, 

unfortunately, the second time as well.  I guess Yahoomort thought my filk was so 

nice, he'd send it twice!  Now, on with the show...

 

ONE MORE CROUCH IN A COFFIN

to the tune of _One More Angel_ from JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT

midi link: 

http://www.broadwaymidi.com/shows/joseph_and_the_amazing_technicolor_dreamcoat.html

 

Dedicated to CMC

 

(The Scene: A stage with a fake wall separating the space into two halves so we

can see two scenes simultaneously. On one side, we see Barty Jr.(as Moody) at

Hogwarts writing a letter, and on the other side Voldemort (in a baby buggy), 

Nagini and Wormtail are at the Riddle house reading that same letter after it’s been 

delivered. Barty Jr. has donned a cowboy hat and one cowboy boot for the 

occasion.) 

 

BARTY JR. (Singing as he is writing)

Master, I've something to tell you... 

the story of my crime!

Near-tragedy we did avoid,

and in the nick of time

 

You know the situation was bad

but now that ain't quite true

and there's no sorrow, no regrets

of killing "daddy" for you....

 

There's one more Crouch in a coffin

There ain't no tears in my eyes

Father, on you I've my revenge

It's "tough", but I'm gonna get by

 

There's one less bloke at the Ministry

There's one less obsessive guy

Barty the senior enforcer

has bought the farm in the sky

 

When I think of his last days travel

a chuckle comes to my throat 

he got all scratched and bloodied-up

and then "Zap!"... that’s all she wrote!

 

Your one true servant at Hogwarts

has proven himself again

I’m loyal to you, Lord Voldemort...

Harry Potter’s next!

 

(Barty stands up, tips his hat, and pretends that he is speaking to his father) 

 

So long, Father

Adios, daddy-o

10-4 Barty Sr.

 

VOLDEMORT (TO WORMTAIL):

Crouch is no longer a problem

I guess Nagini won't suck you dry

Wormtail, I'll never forget this,

You're lucky there was patricide



 

Your blunder shall be forgiven

this once, but you will dread

What torture you will get next time

You'll wish that you were dead

 

(As Voldemort is pushed out of the room by Nagini, Wormtail is 

groveling, saying, "Yes, Master, your mercy knows no bounds, thank-you, thank-

you..." Making sure that Voldemort is out of hearing range, he puts on his own 

cowboy hat and boots, let’s out a big "Yee-Haw!" and starts dancing for joy at not 

being fed to Nagini. At the same time, Barty Jr. knocks down the fake wall. 

Wormtail and Barty run to each other, enthusiastically shake hands, and lock arms 

to twirl around and dance to the music, hootin’ and hollerin’ the whole way). 

 



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