TBAY: Canon College: DEs and Aurors 101 (WAS "Despiadado"

Sun Sep 1 18:54:24 UTC 2002

No: HPFGUIDX 43454

Cindy startles awake, finding herself alone on the grass in front of 
the Student Union of Canon College.  She shakes her head vigorously 
and soon realizes that she dozed off there after her exhausting 
final examination on Death Eaters and Aurors.  Elkins and Avery are 
nowhere to be found, but there is a tiny owl bearing a scarlet 
envelope.  Cindy takes the envelope and begins to read.

---------------

               NOTICE OF VIOLATION OF HONOUR CODE

Dear Ms. Captain Cindy,

It has come to our attention that you have engaged in piracy on the 
grounds of Canon College in violation of our Code Of Honour.  This 
infraction has nullified your grade of "A" on your final 
examination.  Please present yourself to the office of Professor 
Eileen Lucky-Kari at once for re-examination.  Said examination will 
review material from the prior examination on which you blatantly 
*cheated,* with special emphasis on international historical figures 
having nothing whatever to do with canon.  

Failure to defend your canon theories to Professor Lucky-Kari's 
satisfaction will result in a downward adjustment in your grade and 
class rank.  Please be advised that any attempt to use the Imperius 
Curse will be punishable by immediate expulsion.

Have a nice day!  :-)

------------------

Piracy?  Honour Code Violation?  Oh, this is not good, Cindy 
thinks.  Not good at *all.*  Not only is her Masters in Banging in 
jeopardy, she might lose her summer internship in Florence Theories!

Cindy immediately apparates to Professor Lucky-Kari's office, 
finding the Professor seated at her desk, a vague but satisfied look 
on her face.  Eileen's hair, normally pulled back in a severe bun, 
is decidedly disheveled and her bright red lipstick is smeared.

"You wanted to see me, Professor?"

"Yes," Eileen says calmly, gesturing Cindy to a straight-backed 
chair.  "I was talking to George and Faith about your test answers, 
and they see some problems.  Like the fact that you stole an idea 
from Elkins and *me!*"  

Cindy gulps audibly, but Eileen pretends not to hear.  "Cindy, 
remember when you said 'There are lots of ways aurors could become 
popular.  Maybe Frank demonstrated bravery and saved someone's life. 
Maybe he was restrained like Moody.  Maybe he was just charismatic 
or dealt with the press a lot. But if Dumbledore liked Frank, that 
suggests that Frank wasn't all bad.'"

"I didn't steal that argument!" Cindy insists.  "Well, OK, yes, I 
did.  But I only stole the last sentence about Dumbledore.  The rest 
is all mine."

"Yes, but the part about Frank being brave or restrained or 
charismatic?  That part is a *Yellow Flag Violation!*  There's 
nothing in canon to support it, so I shouldn't have given you credit 
for any of it," Eileen says.

Cindy's face falls.  "So you're . . . you're going to *fail* me?" 
she whispers.

Eileen opens her notebook.  "No, not if you can address some of my 
other concerns.  Take Crouch Sr.  You said his scene with Harry and 
Krum wasn't a true redemption scene.  But what about this enormous 
canon that George told me about:

> ----------------------------
> 
> Then Ron said in a falsely confident voice, "But he was out of his 
> mind, like you said, so half of it was probably just raving..."
> 
> "He was sanest when he was trying to talk about Voldemort," said 
> Harry, ignoring Ron's wince. "He was having real trouble stringing 
>two words together, but that was when he seemed to know where he 
>was, and know what he wanted to do. He just kept saying he had to 
>see Dumbledore." 
> 
> ----------------------------

"Oh, that's no problem at all," Cindy says.  "See, there's *no way* 
Crouch is seeking redemption there.  I mean, the whole redemption 
theory rests on the premise that Crouch was trying to undo the 
wrongs he committed by springing his son from Azkaban, right?  
Crouch by this point *knew* that Harry was in a lot of danger.  He 
mentions Voldemort and Harry.  He knew the whole plan to restore 
Voldemort.  Yet Crouch *insists* on speaking to Dumbledore.

"Now, if Crouch were really motivated by a desire to put things 
right, he would have told *Harry* everything Harry needed to know to 
be safe.  He would have spilled his guts right there in front of 
Harry and Victor, right?  But Crouch doesn't do that, does he?  No, 
he is very explicit.  He wants to talk to Dumbledore and *only* 
Dumbledore.  

"Why, though?  Dumbledore isn't in any danger –- Harry is.  My 
theory, Professor, is that Crouch's unwillingness just to tell 
everything to Harry and be done with it is because Crouch hopes to 
pull a *Snape!*  He wants to cut a deal with Dumbledore for 
protection from Voldemort, just like Snape may have.  So Crouch is 
going to hold on to the only thing he has as leverage -– his 
knowledge about Voldemort's plan.  Oh, that Crouch, Sr. is 
*cunning,* all right."

"Oh, come *on!*" Eileen cries.  "The man was out of his mind!  
You're telling me that he had this carefully thought-out plan all 
worked out like that?"

"Well, the plan didn't require all that much thought, really," Cindy 
says.  "Crouch is hurting.  He has only one thing in his mind –- 
survival, a safe haven.  And the only thing he links to that is 
Dumbledore.  Remember, Crouch was right there in the Pensieve scene 
when Dumbledore revealed that Snape was a spy.  So naturally, Crouch 
thinks of Dumbledore as someone who can protect him -- the way he 
protected Snape.  Crouch's turning to Dumbledore is instinctive, 
really.  The *survival* instinct -- the very strongest instinct of 
them all."

Eileen leans forward in her chair, her elbows on the marble 
desktop.  "Professor Faith says you have a little problem 
with 'Occam's Razor.'  She says that if Crouch seems heart-broken, 
full of guilt and remorse, wouldn't it be best to take JKR's 
portrayal on its surface, unless we have any reason to think there's 
something fishy about it?"

"You're listening to Professor *Faith* now?" Cindy asks 
incredulously.  "Professor, surely you know what she had to do to 
*get* that job in the first place?  Oh, that Faith gets around, she 
does . . . 

"Well, never mind that now.  Occam's Razor is a rule in science and 
philosophy stating that entities should not be multiplied 
needlessly, which is interpreted to mean that the simplest of two or 
more competing theories is preferable and that an explanation for 
unknown phenomena should first be attempted in terms of what is 
already known.  The term is named for William of Ockham (1285?-1349).

"It's just a fancy way of saying 'Yellow Flag Violation,' really,"  
Cindy says with a smirk.

"Anyway, William of Ockham would *love* my theory because it is 
completely consistent with Crouch's character in canon.  
Manipulative.  Machiavellian.  Ruthless.  Harry says Crouch was most 
sane when he was talking about Voldemort.  That means Crouch was 
completely capable of telling Harry what he needed to know to 
protect himself, but deliberately chose not to.  Only Dumbledore 
would do.  So the simpler, more natural choice here is to go with 
what we know about Crouch's character already –- that he is cunning, 
ruthless, selfish.  

"That means Crouch's main motivation there was to find a way to  
prevent Voldemort from -- "  Cindy licks her lips -- "going all 
*Tasmanian Devil* on him."  Cindy winces, but when she opens her 
eyes, Eileen looks intrigued.

"Not only that, Professor," Cindy continues quickly, "but look what 
happens if we do a Bang assessment.  What's Bangier?  Crouch as 
whining, groveling confessor or Crouch as scheming, desperate 
extortionist?  Give me 'Crouch Cuts A Deal' any day."

"OK, maybe you're right."  Eileen places a single check mark in her 
notebook.

"What about your Fleeing Wizard theory?"  Eileen asks.  "George 
thinks you're basically right that police have the authority to kill 
in situations where they are not immediately defending themselves or 
bystanders.  And your theory says that the wizarding world didn't 
allow aurors to shoot fleeing wizards until Crouch authorized the 
Unforgivables.  But that's so contrary to common sense. You'd have 
to be a bleeding heart of the bloodiest variety to ban all lethal 
force in the case of the Fleeing Suspect.  Who would make that law?"

Cindy heaves a sigh of relief.  "Oh, *that.*  That's *easy!*  Let's 
think about the world in the pre-Crouch era, before and during the 
early stages of Voldemort's rise to power.  Things are peaceful, 
with Aurors having the occasional arrest to make here and there.  
Nothing really serious, usually.  The laws don't allow Aurors to use 
AK to shoot fleeing wizards, and this makes perfect sense.  Why?  
Because AK is unblockable and irreversible, remember!  So if an 
Auror uses AK and *misses,* the spell could hit an innocent 
bystander."  

"Are you telling me now that Aurors like the Great Alastor Moody 
Can't Shoot Straight?" Eileen asks, rolling her eyes contemptuously.

"No, that's not it at all," Cindy says.  "Remember, people in the 
wizarding world can *apparate!*  So an Auror can take careful aim at 
a fleeing wizard and still miss because the suspect, well –" Cindy 
bites her lower lip  "-- goes all *Speedy Gonzalez* on them at the 
last second and apparates."  

Eileen furrows her brow, but Cindy goes on quickly.  "No, Aurors 
weren't allowed to use AK for fleeing wizards Back In The Day so 
Aurors had to use other more inventive ways to capture suspects.  
Like the old rope trick Snape uses on Lupin in the Shack, or the 
immobilization spell Hermione uses on Neville.  There's no chance an 
Auror will accidentally kill a bystander with those spells.  I think 
there were a lot of Aurors sneaking around under Invisibility Cloaks 
before Voldemort's ascent to power, hoping to get close enough to 
the DE to, er –"  Cindy pauses, thinking hard.  "To go all *Boris 
Badenov* on them.  

"Boris Badenov? That sounds --"  Eileen abruptly leans forward in 
her chair, her eyes wide.  "That sounds *Russian* to my ears!"

"Why yes, it is!" Cindy says brightly.  "Boris Badenov and his 
sidekick Natasha Fatale were notable intelligence experts from the 
1960s.  Boris did most of his work in Pottsylvania, but he was a 
full professor in the Department of Moose and Squirrel at Wossamotta 
U in Frostbite Falls, Minnesota.  He was a master of disguises, and 
he eventually won the admiration and praise of his mentor, Fearless 
Leader."

"Wow!" Eileen exclaims.  "I've never heard of this Badenov.  Did you 
focus on Russian Literature in your youth?"

"Actually, I did," Cindy says.  "I studied Classical Animation in 
the 1960s and early 1970s.  I was something of a child prodigy, if I 
do say so myself.

"But I digress.  There are a lot of DEs escaping capture, and 
Voldemort starts winning the war.  The very existence of the 
wizarding world as we know it is in peril.  Crouch decides that 
Aurors can now use AK in the Case Of The Fleeing Wizard because the 
wizarding world is willing to risk the deaths of a few innocent 
bystanders if that is what it takes to stop a dangerous Fleeing 
Wizard in his tracks.  So that shows that Crouch's authorization of 
the AK curse by Aurors could simply have been an expansion in their 
powers in situations like those where the use of deadly force is 
already authorized in the muggle world."

"One last question,"  Eileen says.  "My colleague Eloise says that 
law enforcement officers in Britain don't carry firearms.  So 
doesn't that *destroy* your whole theory?"

"Good heavens no!"  Cindy replies cheerfully.  "Cops in Britain may 
not carry firearms, that's true.  But it is certainly clear that 
every witch and wizard carries a firearm at all times -– their 
*wand.*  So Aurors really are more similar to American police than 
British bobbies in their ability to use deadly force in defense of 
themselves, in defense of others, and to blast a fleeing suspect."

Eileen places scores of check marks in her notebook and looks up, 
smiling broadly.  "All right, Cindy.  You've convince me.  I'll 
restore your grade -– you earned it fair and square."  She 
frowns.  "George won't be pleased, though.  He's all about principle 
over passion, you know.  He didn't think much of your theories."

"Oh, goodness.  Don't worry about *him.*"  Cindy rises from her seat 
as Eileen hands her a grading sheet with an oversize "A+" emblazoned 
on the top.  She pauses momentarily in the doorway.  "After all, 
what does *George* know about Banging?"

*************

Cindy

**************

For an explanation of the acronyms and theories in this post, visit 
Hypothetic Alley at 

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/files/Admin20Files/hypoth
eticalley.htm 

and Inish Alley at 

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/database?ethod=reportRows
&tbl=13