The KwikSpell Lesson (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 54805

I thought of doing this as "filk-song army," but that's too obvious 
and I'm sure it's been done, so......

The KwikSpell Lesson

To the tune of The Folk Song Army by Tom Lehrer

Hear a MIDI at:

http://members.aol.com/quentncree/lehrer/folksong.htm

Dedicated to Gail B. (a 5-star general in the Filk Song Army)

THE SCENE: The Caretaker's Office. With great excitement, FILCH opens 
a large glossy purple envelope which contains his introductory 
KwikSpell lesson.

FILCH:
Here is my KwikSpell lesson
Designed for all of us squibs
It's got each spell simply spelled out before you
Except the ones you ad-lib

There are inordinate hurdles
For those whose wandwork is weak
But now with this course via correspondence
Why, Fred & George will have to learn to get meek.

(FILCH reads from the First Lesson's introduction)

"If you cannot do Apparation 
Study your Kwikspell today
Your life will gain Scintillation
So –  do not mind all the Galleons you'll pay"

Those kids may think that they're clever
But supposin' I was to throw a couple extra monkey wrenches into 
their plans
I'll learn to use all the stuff in my drawers I've 
Confiscated as contraband

Recall D.J. Prod of Didsbury
Once Warlocking powers he lacked
And much he was mocked by his Missus
Till he turned her into a yak

So, I'll start my Kwik-Spell lessons
I'll pick up ev'ry magical trick
And become a great wizard like Sev'rus & Dumble
Ready....swish.....flick!

(FILCH waves his wand. Nothing happens. He waves it again. Black-out)

     -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm