FILK: I hate Snape

[marinafrants]

No: HPFGUIDX 56185

I Hate Snape
To the tune of "I Hate Men" from Kiss Me, Kate by Cole Porter

SCENE: After an especially trying Potions class, our intrepid trio 
take some time to rant.

RON:
I hate Snape.
He gets me totally bent out of shape.
He's nasty and he's biased and he's always docking points.
I'd like to punch his ugly nose and put it out of joint.
Expect no kindness from him, 'cos he's sure to disappoint.
Oh, I hate Snape!

Of all the teachers in this school -- a fine, diverse collection --
I hate most the Potions Master with his bad complection.
When he approaches, I take off in the opposite direction.
'Cos I hate Snape!

HARRY:
I hate Snape.
He almost foiled Sirus' escape.
He used to work for Voldemort, a fully-pledged Death Eater.
And he might be reformed now, but he sure ain't any sweeter.
He's even more annoying than Malfoy and Rita Skeeter.
Yes, I hate Snape!

If you find yourself in Potions class, you'd better pay attention,
Unless you are a Slytherin, you'll wind up in detention,
Performing tasks too gruesome and embarrasing to mention.
Oh, I hate Snape!

HERMIONE:
I hate Snape,
Like I hate the stuff that off my shoe I scrape.
I do not find his swooping manner graceful or romantic,
I do not like the way he makes poor Neville scared and frantic
And I don't appreciate how he insults my orthodontics.
Oh, I hate Snape!

I know that he's a teacher, and I really should respect him.
I know he's guarded Harry and attempted to protect him.
But every time he speaks, I feel this great urge to dissect him.
Yes, I hate Snape!

Marina Rusalka
rusalka at ix.netcom.com