Sit Down, Ron (a filk)

[Haggridd]

No: HPFGUIDX 78115


This is a filk of the song "Sit Down, John" from the musical 1776.

I seek to tread in virgin pastures, unmarked by any trace of 
previous exploration.  Wherever I go, however, no matter how high 
the mountain or how long the valley, Ever do I see the tracks of one 
who has gone before, and willy-nilly, I must step in his footprints.
I speak of Caius Marcius Coriolanus, and it is to him I dedicate 
this filk.


                        Sit Down, Ron 
(with apologies to John Adams, the Second Continental Congress and 
the city of Philadelphia)

SCENE:  Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, newly-minted Gryffindor 
prefects, confront the Weasley twins, Fred & George, who are using 
first-years as guinea pigs.   
Hermione urges Ron to exercise his authority.  The twins are 
unimpressed by their little brother's new office.
 
HERMIONE: 
Come on, Ron! Come on, Ron!
By Godric, Ron, come on!
Come on, Ron! Come on, Ron!
By Godric, Ron, come on!
Ron, you must remember you're a prefect!

(to the Twins)
Don't hurt those first-years!

FRED & GEORGE:
They're all volunteers!
Besides, you see they all are still alive!

HERMIONE:
Ron, you must remember you're a prefect!

RON WEASLEY (reluctantly):
I say skive off! Skive off! No more Fainting Fancies, please!

FRED & GEORGE:
Hey!  Our ickle Ronnie's now a prefect!

RON:
I say skive off!

FRED & GEORGE:
Sit down, Ron!

RON WEASLEY (practically begging):
No more Fainting Fancies, please!

FRED &  GEORGE:
Listen hard now, Ronniekins the prefect!
No, no, no! Two dozen tries! Nobody dies!
See? The ickle Firsties all are still alive!
Say, Ron, go and ask your fellow prefect
Can't she compromise here?

RON WEASLEY:
Skive off! 

HERMIONE:
No, the law applies here!

RON WEASLEY:
Skive off! 

FRED & GEORGE:
For Godric's sake, Ron, sit down! 


RON WEASLEY:
Good Godric! Consider yourself lucky that you have brother Ron to 
abuse;
Hermione'll never tolerate it! 


FRED & GEORGE:
Ron, you're a bore; we've heard this before
For Godric's sake, Ron, sit down!

RON WEASLEY:
I say skive off!
 
FRED & GEORGE:
No! 

RON WEASLEY:
Skive off! 

FRED & GEORGE:
No! 

RON WEASLEY:
No more Fainting Fancies, please! 

HERMIONE:
And I'll post an owl to your mother! 

RON WEASLEY:
I say skive off!
 
FRED & GEORGE:
Sit down, Ron!
 
RON WEASLEY:
No more Fainting Fancies, please!
 
FRED & GEORGE (to Ron):
Will you please stop Hermione? 

RON WEASLEY:
Never! 



(Even the Weasley Twins must bow before the elemental moral force 
that is prefect Hermione)


-Haggridd