TBAY: Kirstini's Big Theorising Adventure 2/3- An Arc on Board the Ark.

[Kirstini]

No: HPFGUIDX 78532


Here's Part 2. Thanks to Hayes for approving my mutilation of her 
boat.
**********************************************************************

On the deck of the Narrative Ark, Hayes was sound asleep in a 
hammock, having had a hard day's archiving. Some small waves were 
lapping round the prow, but other than that, the only noise breaking 
the calm were some well-bred snores from the gay box over by the 
stern.
Suddenly – CRACK/POP! Hayes started awake, to see Kirstini (in a 
stupid-looking beret) standing over her, accompanied by a young man 
with messy hair and glasses.
"Morning!" said Kirstini brightly.
"Is it?" Hayes asked, glancing dimly at the sky. It still looked 
pretty dark to her.
"Hayes, I had to come. I've had an idea. And I brought you 
breakfast." Hayes noticed that Kirstini was holding a steaming 
cafetiere and a plate with one of her own HUMBLE PIES on it.
"MC!James, would you mind
?" The young man with Kirstini began 
setting up a small table with two chairs on deck. He then toddled 
over to the hammock, and offered Hayes an arm. As Kirstini produced 
mugs and forks from her voluminous overcoat, the young man pulled out 
a chair for Hayes, and checked four times that she was quite 
comfortable.
"This is MythicalConstruct!James." said Kirstini. "He insisted on 
escorting me. Have you got any heavy furniture that needs moved or 
anything? He loves helping. He's kind of like a house elf in that 
respect."
"Actually, there are some huge crates down in the archives that I 
couldn't get open." Hayes said, blearily.
"Say no more, fair lady!" said the young man, hurrying off to the 
cabin.
"Thank goodness for that. He was beginning to get on my nerves." said 
Kirstini.
"Kirstini, I don't mean to be rude, but what on earth are you doing 
here? Dawn is yet to crack, and I got to bed sort of late last night
"
"Bed! I haven't been to bed yet!" said Kirstini, airily.
That explained a lot, Hayes thought to herself, as she sipped the 
very nice coffee Kirstini had brought. Kirstini had paused to look 
around the vessel, her eyes shining. 
"A learning curve, an arc, a Narrative Ark! It's brilliant, Hayes, 
it's brilliant! I wonder if you would be interested in a small 
proposition? Not - not a business proposition necessarily -" Kirstini 
said, hastily, seeing the familiar closed expression appear on her 
potential partner's face. "More of a re-positioning, if you like. You 
see, I need a ship, and this one is absolutely perfect. I don't think 
I could do any better if I'd designed it myself. And Hayes, you like 
HUMBLE PIE, don't you! Yes. It's perfect. Perfect."

"Kirstini, what are you talking about? I don't want to reposition the 
Narrative Ark. I told you, we're not a ship with can(n)ons per se; we 
are more of, um, a reference ship. We help support theories that 
develop either through arguments about how the Harry Potter narrative 
has developed internally and we also house an extensive collection of 
great reads for analogical sources. We are not a theorising vessel in 
ourselves."

 "Yes, yes, yes, but they have the Canon Museum on shore doing 
something vaguely similar," said Kirstini, impatiently. "Hayes, I 
could make you Captain of such a seaworthy theory. Imagine hundreds 
of shining, golden can(n)ons bursting out of that prow. This ship 
could be the envy of the whole Bay, Hayes. Please,  please, hear me 
out." Hayes, looking rather uncertain, took a large gulp of coffee. 
Kirstini began. 

"I suppose, really, this theory started with HUMBLE PIE. Or rather, 
just the HUMBLE bit. PIE, PIPE and PINE aren't really relevant at 
this point. HUMBLE, as well you know, stands for How Umbridge 
Modernises Badness/Light Enquiries - how the introduction of Dolores 
Umbridge, undoubtedly evil, and yet not siding with Voldemort, opens 
up the text to new interpretations of "good" and "evil", and 
constitutes a move away from the child's black/white understanding of 
these concepts as fixed binary opposites, as espoused by the first 
four books. Suddenly, the debate becomes focused on facets of human 
character instead. I suppose, at it's most basic level, what I'm 
trying to get at is: as Harry grows up, so does the narrative. Our 
first can(n)on would be Umbridge herself - her entire existence." 
Kirstini  scooped out the inside of the HUMBLE PIE, and dropped it 
onto the deck

"No!" Hayes cried (she had always hated mess, and was beginning to 
wonder if her guest hadn't gone a little bit insane). But to her 
surprise, where she had expected to see a blob of sickly pink goo, 
there was a large (pinkish) can(n)on, shimmering in the beginnings of 
dawn light. Kirstini nodded sagely at it, and then continued.
 
"Our second canon would be a handy little mission statement made by 
Sirius in OotP. I call it a mission statement, because it describes 
perfectly the new phase that JKR seems to be moving into. Here we 
go..." (she had been flicking hastily through a handy, pocket-sized 
version of OotP, roughly the shape of a large breezeblock 
brick)  "Page 271, Bloomsbury. You probably know it already, as I 
used it to advertise the HUMBLE PIES, and you're such a fan." Hayes 
nodded, weakly. 
"Ah, yes. " '...the world isn't split into good people and Death 
Eaters.' said Sirius with a wry smile.""
 As she spoke, an enormous, golden can(n)on appeared on the ship with 
a clang. Hayes gave a muffled squeak, and refilled her mug.

 "Funny, isn't it," Kirstini continued, "as that's exactly the way 
JKR *has* divided the world up until OotP. Or the Wizarding world, 
anyway. Good people, Death Eaters. Prior to OotP, there are three 
characters who break this rule. One is Snape, both good person and 
Death Eater, but bending the definition of each term. The other two 
didn't show themselves until at least halfway through GoF. Rita 
Skeeter - eventually ends up working for the good side, but only 
because she's being blackmailed into it; and Cornelius Fudge, who's 
in there due to his horrible little head-in-the-sand routine at the 
end of GoF, which, as we know,  leads him to much, much more wrong-
doing in OotP. Fudge and Rita's lines of development in OotP are 
extra can(n)on for us," (two small cannons positioned themselves on 
the starboard side of the deck as she spoke) "and Harry's realisation 
of Snape's troubled past, containing as it does the beginnings of an 
understanding of Snape beyond the two dimensional is another whacking 
great can(n)on." 
Said whacking great can(n)on did indeed appear, a silver one this 
time.

"Let me get this straight," said Hayes. "You're proposing that we 
turn the Narrative Ark into a vessel housing your theory that the 
narrative is following a - well, an arc, moving towards maturity and 
complexity of character, narrative and plot, and away from childish 
conceptions of good and evil, as it follows Harry's own development?"

"Pretty much," said Kirstini. "It's a movement that I've identified 
in OotP. She's slowly taking the books away from children's writing, 
towards something that I can only describe as realism, although I 
know that's a rather silly claim to make about a series about 
wizards. "Snape's Worst Memory" is our best can(n)on, I think, which 
is why I'm rather down on people trying to claim that it's all 
subjective, and James Potter couldn't have been that bad after all. 
Yes he was. It's perfect – the shattering of the father-as-hero or 
icon; removing him instantly from the pedestal and giving way to a 
realistic conception of human flaws." 

Hayes groaned, and the deck groaned with her, as the "Snape's Worst 
Memory" can(n)on landed on deck and snuggled up to the mission 
statement can(n)on.
 "See, everything comes in twos on the Narrative Ark," said Kirstini 
happily. Suddenly, she whipped around to face Hayes, her forefingers 
aloft.
"The Dursleys!" she cried, with relish. "The Dursleys are *fantastic* 
can(n)on for this theory. Listen! It's this bit about Aunt Petunia, 
p.39 Bloomsbury: 
" 'Back?' whispered Aunt Petunia.
She was looking at Harry as she had never looked at him before. And 
all of a sudden, for the very first time in his life, Harry fully 
appreciated that Aunt Petunia was his mother's sister. He could not 
have said why this hit him so very powerfully at this moment. All he 
knew was that he was not the only person in the room who had an 
inkling of what Lord Voldemort being back might mean. Aunt Petunia 
had never in her life looked at him like that before. Her large pale 
eyes (so unlike her sister's) were not narrowed in dislike or anger, 
the were wide and fearful."  - You see?" Kirstini asked, triumphantly 
(and rhetorically, thought Hayes).
"It's the first time Harry has any realisation that Aunt Petunia - or 
any of the Dursleys  -might be a human being rather than a 
caricature?" she ventured.
"That's the general idea, but it's not the first time. It's about 
Dudley..."

"Hang on a second. If this is going to be a rehash of your gay Dudley 
theory...." said Hayes, standing up. "I've already told you, I've got 
Justin Finch-Fletchley in the gay box, and that's where he's staying. 
Now I've let you get away with a lot of changes on board my ship so 
far, but don't think I'm going to stand back and let you waltz all 
over my own pet theory...."
"Hey, hey, Hayes..." said Kirstini, and then laughed at 
herself. "Sorry. Anyway, I was just going to say that this doesn't 
have to have anything too do with Dudley's sexual orientation. It's 
all pure can(n)on.. Look at this bit, a few pages earlier, on 33." 
Here she indicated a passage of text. Hayes read:
"
despite the sense of numb dread that had settled on Harry since the 
arrival of the first owl, he felt a certain curiosity. Dementors 
caused a person to relive the worst moments of their life. What would 
spoiled, pampered, bullying Dudley have been forced to hear?" 

"It's not much" said Kirstini, "but it's a start. Suddenly, Dudley 
has potential for a much more complex, and interesting personality. 
Just with that one sentence. And she also creates potential for Harry 
to feel some sort of sympathy with them - with both of them, Dudley 
and Petunia, which she has never done before. All the characters are 
becoming better rounded, more complex, as understood by an older 
Harry. OotP is the book in which Neville finally grows out of the 
sentence that has been used in every book to describe him: " a round-
faced, forgetful boy" and develops into the character with the most 
touching scene in the book. Ginny, too. She finally gets over the 
crush on Harry, and becomes a noisy, bright, dominant, *developed* 
character. We also have the introduction of the D.A, which introduces 
us to Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, and gives them character and often 
quite complex motivation (think Susan Bones, no more than a name for 
years, now with feelings and a vaguely similar experience to Harry's) 
to distinguish them from the pack. Not to mention the first non-Gryff 
main student character in Luna Lovegood. It all fits, you see? 

"Well, that's the general idea. As a theory it doesn't make too many 
particular demands on the outcome of the next two books, because 
we're really more concerned with theme and it's expression in 
narrative technique – with morality and realism. I do have some 
requirements, though. I need Peter Pettigrew to have been a 
Gryffindor gone wrong, rather than just another sneaky Slytherin. 
Because at the moment, the Gryffs are still rather infallible. 
Lavender and Parvati might be a bit bitchy, and Seamus a bit 
gullible, but none of them have really transgressed as yet, have 
they? Not even him, really. " (here she jerked a thumb at the empty 
PIE crust) You see? On that note, the one problem I'm having at the 
moment is the Slytherins. They're all so blooming one-dimensional. 
They all just hang about in gangs and say nasty things to whichever 
of the Trio happens tobe the least popular at that point. My theory 
requires a Good(ish) Slyth to make his or her appearance at some 
point fairly early on in Book 6, or at least for one of them to start 
developing human attributes. I was holding out hope for that little 
boy he could see the Thestrals, but..." she shook her head sadly, as 
a child's catapult appeared on deck with a clatter, "no can(n)on in 
it. None at all." She paused, rather despondently, before perking up 
again.

" I had an idea for our uniform too," she said, pulling off  her 
overcoat to reveal that she was wearing a tunic in various shades of 
shimmering grey, with a thin black band down one side and a similar 
white band on the other. Hayes noticed that she had discarded the ill-
advised beret, and was fastening a matching scarf around her head.
"Shades of grey, you see! Because I haven't managed to come up with 
an acronym yet. I could run you up a really official looking one, 
with a captain's hat, and stars and stuff? So, what do you say, 
Hayes? Will you let me house my theory about the narrative arc on 
board the Narrative Ark? Can I come on board? Can I be co-captain? 
I'll keep the can(n)ons up here all the time, so they won't interfere 
with your archival work, I promise. And I'll throw in MC!James as a 
sort of deckhand if you want?"

Hayes thought for a minute, and then said "Alright then. I must say I 
really do like this idea about a move towards realism, even if I'm a 
little unsure about the co-captaincy. For the moment you can be First 
Mate. And there may well be room for Dudley in the gay box after 
all.  However, I must make one stipulation. The Narrative Ark has 
always been a peaceful vessel. If you come along, loading up the deck 
with can(n)ons, you're going to attract us some possibly unwanted 
attention. Particularly from over there." Kirstini followed Hayes' 
outstretched finger in the direction of the Big Bang Destroyer.
"Oh, no Hayes, it's all perfectly sea-worthy." Kirstini said.
"I didn't mean in that way. A moral landscape in various shades of 
grey is all very well, but shades of grey don't Bang, do they? . 
Neither does a narrative movement towards
realism. Captain Cindy could interpret our re-launch as aggressive 
action. We need to prove to her somehow that the two theories are not 
completely incompatible. Is there any way you can make your unnamed 
theory sit in harmony with the Big Bang?  I think we should follow 
some sort of program of appeasement."
" Well, we could send her over Ever So Dead Dean Thomas (1)," 
Kirstini suggested."I know he's  kind of Bangsty, but since OotP, 
they've been a bit  starved for real, true Bangs over there. Cindy 
said so herself. She might like him. We could send him over with a 
note saying that we'll send her another present at the same time 
tomorrow. Gain her trust, you know?" 
"Right, you get on to that, while I consider your co-captaincy." said 
Hayes, now sounding remarkably alert. "And MC!James, if you wouldn't 
mind giving the decks a bit of a swab..ow! Kirstini, what on earth is 
this?"
Hayes pointed angrily at a large, foul-smelling joint of meat, and 
rubbed her shin.
"Oh, I wasn't going to show you that immediately. Umm...it's a DITCH 
HAM."
"A DITCH HAM? What is a DITCH HAM doing on board the Narrative Ark?"
"Well, it stands for Dudley In The Closet Helps Harry Achieve 
Maturity." said Kirstini sheepishly. "I thought we could carve a 
lovely little lifeboat out of it
"


1) See posts 72765 and 73322 for Hayes and Kirstini's Big Killing 
Dean Thomas Adventure.