FILK: The Ends Justify the Meanies

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 87429

The Ends Justify the Meanies 

To the tune of If You Go In (aka Faint Heart Never Won Fair Lady) 
from Gilbert & Sullivan's greatest operetta Iolanthe

Hear a MIDI at:

http://diamond.boisestate.edu/gas/iolanthe/html/hewhoshi.html

Dedicated to Ginger

THE SCENE: Slytherin Commons. The ANTI-TRIO make a recruiting pitch 
for their home dorm.

DRACO          
If you go in
To Slytherin
You will succeed like Mussolini:
Simply recite
This old sound-bite,
"The ends justify the meanies"

DRACO, CRABBE & GOYLE:
Meanies, meanies meanies,
The ends justify the meanies!

Ev'rybody has their price
Finishes last does ev'ry guy nice
If they lack bread, let `em eat cake
Give no sucker an even break!

CRABBE:         
It's so cool
To be as cruel 
As the famous barber Sweeney
Who once prayed
To his sharp blade:
"The ends justify the meanies!"

DRACO, CRABBE & GOYLE:
Meanies, meanies meanies,
The ends justify the meanies

Just look out for Number One --
Risk not your neck for anyone
Plausible be what you deny
Life is a bitch and then you die!

GOYLE:               
In our dorm
It is the norm
To have a conscience rather teeny
Take this proverb
As your sworn word:
"The ends justify the meanies!"

DRACO, CRABBE & GOYLE:             
Meanies, meanies meanies,
The ends justify the meanies

When you find opportunity
Make sure you ask, "What's in it for me?"
Divide and conquer, that's our aim
As we learn how to play the game!

     -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm