[HPforGrownups] Re: TBAY: Stunning!Neville With Invisibility

[Eileen]

No: HPFGUIDX 52010

It rather surprised Eileen to find the door of the
Safe House wide open. It was not surprising that she
decided to go in. Who was she to reject such an
opportunity?

The living room was in the perfect condition that
Melody, Grey, and Pip always kept it, though Eileen
wondered why a dishwasher would be kept in that
particular room. Grey and Pip were taking tea, and
calmly discussing MD in relation to a new theory known
as PERSIL AUTOMATIC, whose adherents, judging from a
steady murmur from below their feet, were lodged in
the basement.

"You're here for the Invisibility Cloak discussion?"
asks Pip. "They're in the kitchen."

"They" turns out to be Cindy, Melody, Risti and... 

"I know I shouldn't have drunk all that brandy during
that shipping discussion," moans Eileen. "Now, I'm
seeing double of Elkins."

"That Elkins is an impostor!" declares Cindy. "Or
wait... That Elkins is an impostor... I think."

"How can you tell?"

"It's very simple. Watch. Elkins #1 - Do you believe
that Mrs. Longbottom saved Neville's life by stunning
him and putting him under an invisibility cloak?"

"Yes."

"See, that is not the real Elkins, Eileen, because we
know that the real Elkins is a proponent of the memory
charm theory, and under this scenario, Neville's
stunned -unconscious through this whole scene - so
there's nothing to be memory charmed for."

"Agreed," says Eileen. "Quite brilliant deduction,
Cindy."

"Elementary, my dear Eileen, elementary. Now watch
this. Elkins #2, Do you believe that Mrs. Longbottom
saved Neville's life by body binding him and putting
him under an invisibility cloak?"

"Yes."

"Voila!" cries Cindy. "The real Elkins."

"Oh dear," says Eileen. "I'm afraid there must be some
sort of mistake here."

"Mistake?" says Cindy. "Why I proved it."

"I'm afraid," says Eileen, "I'm very much afraid that
neither of these women are the real Elkins."

Melody and Risti groan.

"You see, the real Elkins would know that it wasn't
Mrs. Longbottom who saved Neville's life at all. The
real Elkins has always been most insistent that it was
Barty Crouch Jr."

"Oh..." mouths Cindy. And then waving to the
discredited Elkinses, "Who are these people anyway?"

"Spies," says Melody. 

"Right," says Cindy. "That would figure. Eileen, do
you want a poptart?"

"Not yet. You see I'm here to work mischief. If it was
Barty Crouch Jr. who saved Neville, as Elkins so
cogently argued a long while back, he could have used
his father's invisibility cloak."

"Thus reducing our projected number of series'
invisibility cloaks," groans Risti. "Thanks a lot."

"Well, the Crouch invisibility cloak is at least
canon!" says Eileen. "That Longbottom cloak is just
asking for a yellow flag if I ever saw one. We have a
situation where Barty Crouch Jr. as the saviour makes
a lot more bang and dramatic sense etc. And we have a
canonical invisibility cloak that said Crouch has
access to. That makes a lot more sense than inventing
a Longbottom invisibility cloak."

"Other than that it bangs and is very cool, and makes
you and Elkins squirm with sadistic delight thinking
about it everytime Crouch Jr. invites Neville to tea,
what does this theory have going for it?" asks Cindy.

"Well, Elkins or one of her body doubles said that it
seems likely from Snape's reaction to Harry's cloak,
that invisibility cloaks are recognizable. In his
panic, Crouch Jr. left behind the cloak, which he had
taken from the family closet earlier that day. It was
a fatal mistake... You know, there must have been
something else to convict Barty Jr. on than the
testimony of the other Death Eaters. No matter what
Elkins says, I can't see Crouch Sr. allowing that. Any
Death Eater could finger a family member and he'd cart
them off to Azkaban? There must have been some other
evidence that disposed him against his son. It
couldn't have been the Longbottoms' testimony, because
if it was, I doubt Dumbledore would have expressed
doubt about Barty Jr's innocence. 

No, I say it was finding his own invisibility cloak
there in the wreckage of the living room. Here, pass
me a poptart!"

Eileen

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