Weeping for Sirius

[darrin_burnett]

No: HPFGUIDX 67910

I must confess that, I too, upon first read, was not horribly 
affected by the death of Sirius.

I attribute that to the speed with which I read it the first time, my 
expectation that it would be Hagrid and my preparation for that, and 
the almost perfunctory way it was handled. One blast and a fall 
through a mysterious veil.

But on second read and on further reflection, I say without 
hesitation that I am in mourning.

Sirius is an important character, if we take a moment and view him 
through Harry's eyes. Sirius is the closest thing Harry feels to a 
father. In GoF, Harry wants someone like a parent to write to and he 
hits upon Sirius.

Harry has lost his parents and now lost his father's best friend, 
someone he viewed as a kind of favorite uncle. 

I further mourn for Harry because of the he feels for his part in 
Sirius' death. I don't blame Harry as much as he blames himself. 
After all, his vision of Arthur was accurate.

And make no mistake, had Harry not gone to the Ministry, the visions 
would have increased until Harry went mad or until he went to the 
ministry. 

But had Harry remembered the mirror, he'd have been able to stave off 
the whole thing. I can't imagine what he is feeling. So, I mourn for 
what the kid, and he is still a kid, has lost.

Sirius only got a few good years in his life. His childhood was in 
the company of people he didn't agree with and his time with James 
and Lily were all-too brief, and, in the lens of hindsight, tainted 
by his and James' arrogance and meanness to Snape. Then, the life as 
a prisoner and a fugitive.

I mourn the chance he had to make things right, to Harry, to Snape, 
to himself, to the world. 

Is he dead? Yes. I don't believe he will come back through that veil.

But then again, the dead never truly leave us.

So yes, I did not mourn for Sirius the first time through. Maybe I 
was glad it wasn't Hagrid. 

But I mourn now. A good man has fallen.

Darrin
-- Lens of Hindsight would be a good name for a band.