Weeping for Sirius

[Claire]

No: HPFGUIDX 67920

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "darrin_burnett" 
<bard7696 at a...> wrote:
> I must confess that, I too, upon first read, was not horribly 
> affected by the death of Sirius.
> 
> I attribute that to the speed with which I read it the first time, 
my 
> expectation that it would be Hagrid and my preparation for that, 
and 
> the almost perfunctory way it was handled. One blast and a fall 
> through a mysterious veil.
> 
> But on second read and on further reflection, I say without 
> hesitation that I am in mourning.
> 
> Sirius is an important character, if we take a moment and view him 
> through Harry's eyes. Sirius is the closest thing Harry feels to a 
> father. In GoF, Harry wants someone like a parent to write to and 
he 
> hits upon Sirius.
> 
> Harry has lost his parents and now lost his father's best friend, 
> someone he viewed as a kind of favorite uncle. 
> 
> I further mourn for Harry because of the he feels for his part in 
> Sirius' death. I don't blame Harry as much as he blames himself. 
> After all, his vision of Arthur was accurate.
> 
> And make no mistake, had Harry not gone to the Ministry, the 
visions 
> would have increased until Harry went mad or until he went to the 
> ministry. 
> 
> But had Harry remembered the mirror, he'd have been able to stave 
off 
> the whole thing. I can't imagine what he is feeling. So, I mourn 
for 
> what the kid, and he is still a kid, has lost.
> 
> Sirius only got a few good years in his life. His childhood was in 
> the company of people he didn't agree with and his time with James 
> and Lily were all-too brief, and, in the lens of hindsight, 
tainted 
> by his and James' arrogance and meanness to Snape. Then, the life 
as 
> a prisoner and a fugitive.
> 
> I mourn the chance he had to make things right, to Harry, to 
Snape, 
> to himself, to the world. 
> 
> Is he dead? Yes. I don't believe he will come back through that 
veil.
> 
> But then again, the dead never truly leave us.
> 
> So yes, I did not mourn for Sirius the first time through. Maybe I 
> was glad it wasn't Hagrid. 
> 
> But I mourn now. A good man has fallen.
> 
> Darrin
> -- Lens of Hindsight would be a good name for a band.

Claire responds:
Thank you, Darrin, for putting so succinctly what I went through.  I 
also wasn't affected initially.  I truly though it was going to be 
Molly Weasley.  It wasn't until the end of the book that I 
went, "Whoa, wait a minute.  Sirius is gone?!?"  I had to go back 
and reread that chapter to make sure.  Delayed reaction.  Love the 
part about the "dead never truly leave us".  Dumbledore has already 
explained that to Harry about why he was able to create his 
particular Patronus.  And since JKR has a tendency to revisit 
seemingly minor conversations and/or plot points, I believe we will 
see Sirius again.  What form he will take, I don't know.  He was a 
good friend, a good godfather--despite his faults, his foibles 
(which made/make him so very human).  I hate to eulogize him now, 
thinking we haven't seen the last of him (despite JKR saying that no 
matter how she wrote it, the character was still dead).