Harry and Dudley - both victims (was Food and body image in the series

[jenny_ravenclaw]

No: HPFGUIDX 68227

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, Scott Santangelo wrote:
 
> I don't buy it. Dudley a victim of abuse like Harry is?! I'm ok with 
the "fat" and "stupid" parts, but Dudley is more manipulative of his 
parents than they will ever be of him. Dudley consciously chooses to 
tack on the pounds and to bully children, where his parents simply 
give in to (fine, enable) his behaviors. At least Petunia finally 
acknowledges the weight problem and tries to do something about it. 
While that may be helpful to Dudley it's like putting Harry on a 
starvation diet. Petunia dosen't seem to care about that! I'd be 
squirreling away rations, too, and I wouldn't be too particular about 
balanced meals at that point. As to education, Dudley's given every 
chance to attend quality schools, and clearly both parents are proud 
of his achievements. Harry is labeled as a juvenile delinquent and 
cut-off from the most basic resources (as if Dudley would ever want to 
watch the evening news!).>

I don't think you understand what abuse is.  Harry is definitely 
abused.  Aunt Petunia chasing him around with a frying pan in CoS, 
Vernon encouraging Dudley to hit him in SS, having to starve because 
Dudley is on a diet... we're all amazed Harry has survived to be who 
he is now.

Why wouldn't you think Dudley is abused as well?  Do you really think 
his parents are doing a decent job with him?  Do you really think good 
parents allow their children to eat and eat and eat until they are as 
big as a baby whale?  Do you think parents who never say no are 
showing love or teaching their children limits and responsibilities?  

Petunia and Vernon are terrible parents who are doing Dudley a major 
disservice by treating him as they do.  They refuse to acknowledge his 
horrible behavior at school (GoF) and listen to his lies (OoP) 
willingly.  They treat him as if he can do no wrong, which is allowing 
him to live in some kind of a world that doesn't exist.  Dudley goes 
around beating up 10 year olds - you're telling me his own parents had 
nothing to do with that?

Parents don't have to lay a hand on a child to abuse that child.  
Enablers are people who give in to every whim which allows the child 
to continue doing precisely what is bad for him.  At the rate Dudley 
is going, he won't be able to finish school, get a job or ever live on 
his own, because he won't know how to.  Is this the life his parents 
wanted for him?  Because this *is* what they'll get.

--jenny from ravenclaw, who thinks enablers are despicable and wants 
to add another great 80s song: "Tainted Love", Soft Cell 
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