[HPforGrownups] Harry and Dudley - both victims (was Food and body image in the series

[Scott Santangelo]

No: HPFGUIDX 68239


Scott S wrote:
I don't buy it. Dudley a victim of abuse like Harry is?! I'm ok with the "fat" and "stupid" parts, but Dudley is more manipulative of his parents than they will ever be of him. Dudley consciously chooses to tack on the pounds and to bully children, where his parents simply give in to (fine, enable) his behaviors. At least Petunia finally acknowledges the weight problem and tries to do something about it. While that may be helpful to Dudley it's like putting Harry on a starvation diet. Petunia dosen't seem to care about that! I'd be squirreling away rations, too, and I wouldn't be too particular about balanced meals at that point. As to education, Dudley's given every 
chance to attend quality schools, and clearly both parents are proud of his achievements. Harry is labeled as a juvenile delinquent and cut-off from the most basic resources (as if Dudley would ever want to watch the evening news!)

-------------jenny from ravenclaw said:

I don't think you understand what abuse is.  Harry is definitely abused . . . Why wouldn't you think Dudley is abused as well?  Do you really think his parents are doing a decent job with him?  Do you really think good 
parents allow their children to eat and eat and eat until they are as big as a baby whale?  Do you think parents who never say no are showing love or teaching their children limits and responsibilities?  Petunia and Vernon are terrible parents who are doing Dudley a major 
disservice by treating him as they do.  They refuse to acknowledge his horrible behavior at school (GoF) and listen to his lies (OoP) willingly.  They treat him as if he can do no wrong, which is allowing him to live in some kind of a world that doesn't exist.  Dudley goes 
around beating up 10 year olds - you're telling me his own parents had nothing to do with that? Parents don't have to lay a hand on a child to abuse that child.  
Enablers are people who give in to every whim which allows the child to continue doing precisely what is bad for him.  At the rate Dudley is going, he won't be able to finish school, get a job or ever live on his own, because he won't know how to.  Is this the life his parents wanted for him?  Because this *is* what they'll get.
-------------------------

I can't equate the two sorts of abuse. Harry is flagrantly abused in a way that the law (in the USA) would prohibit. Dudley is "enabled" in ways that would not be a cause for legal action. Yes, yes, it's still "wrong," but Petunia and Vernon *love* and *worship* Dudders (and they ARE dealing with his weight problem). As to his bullying ways, the apple didn't fall far from the tree, there, and I think Dud will do just *fine* in the "real world" of ignorant bullies. This at least is what Vernon wants for him. Lots of kids grow up in environments that cushion them and "enable" all sorts of behaviors, but society does not label "enablers" as "abusers." Dudley may become a by-product of a dysfunctional family, but he's not suffering like Harry!



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