[HPforGrownups] Re: Chapter Discussions - Chapter One, Dudley Demented

[Wendy St John]

No: HPFGUIDX 68249

I wrote:
> Another really great question! I wonder just what it would take to 
repair
> this relationship. As it turns out, Harry wouldn't have actually 
had the
> opportunity (time-wise) to explain before the Dementors attacked. 

To which Marina replied:

"Why *would* Harry explain the nightmares to Dudley?  What reason 
does he have to expect that Dudley would be sympathetic or 
understanding?  Harry's experience at the graveyard was extremely 
painful and traumatic: he was kidnapped, tortured, forced to witness 
a murder he was helpless to prevent.  Many people would need years 
of therapy before they could begin to discuss something like that 
even with people they loved and trusted, let alone with someone 
who'd been victimizing them since early childhood.  I would've found 
it absolutely mind-boggling if Harry responded to Dudley's taunts by 
suddenly taking Dudley into his confidence."

Now me (Wendy) again:

I agree that for Harry to have taken Dudley into his confidence at that
moment would have been out of character, and that Dudley would not likely
have been sympathetic. However, my real point was that *now,* after Dudley
has had an extremely negative experience of something from the Wizarding
World, this might be something which could bring Harry and Dudley together.
Dudley has his memory of the Dementors which could help him be more
empathetic to some of Harry's experiences. I wouldn't be surprised if Book
6 starts out with a suitably humbled Dudley coming and asking Harry more
about "his" world. I've had experiences in my life where longtime feuds
were broken almost instantly. One time in particular, I hadn't been on
speaking terms with a family member for 10 years and just sitting with him
at my grandmother's death bed was enough to change everything. We never
even *spoke* about what had happened in the past - it was just enough to
share that experience for us to overcome all those years of anger. There
was a moment where we just looked at one another, and we've been on good
terms ever since. This scenario is certainly not identical to the situation
with Harry and Dudley, but it's just meant to be an example of the ways in
which people can overcome past resentments and find common ground,
especially after sharing a particularly intense experience. I don't think
it's unreasonable to think that now Dudley and Harry might use this shared
experience of the Dementors to build a new relationship. We know that
15-year-olds can grow out of their awful childhood behaviour (James
apparently did), so why not Dudley? I'm not predicting that this will
happen, but it is one way the story could go, and I personally would like
to see Dudley grow up and redeem himself in some way.

:-)
Wendy