FILK: The High Inquisitor Song

[pippin_999]

No: HPFGUIDX 69514

Hogwarts High Inquisitor
A filk by Pippin to the tune of 
Gilbert and Sullivan's Major General Song
Hear the original at 
http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/pirates/p13.mid

Note: for purposes of this filk, Voldemort is pronounced with 
silent 't'

UMBRIDGE
I am the very model of a Hogwarts High Inquisitor
I sit in back of every class as if I was a visitor
There'll be no deviation while I serve as  an inhibitor
>From subjects in the syllabus which you will all be quizzing for
Although I do not soil my hands  with matters strictly practical
I am the prefect parody of educratic folderal
As I bring Hogwarts to its knees with educational decrees
>From twenty-two to twenty-eight in Ministry bureaucrat-ese

ALL:
>From twenty-two to twenty-eight in Ministry bureaucrat-ese (3x)

HERMIONE
She looks all loveydovey with her velvet bow and cardigan
And yet she has a magic quill that carves out  letters in your hand
Oh Harry go tell Dumbledore, the woman's a sadistic --boar
We cannot let her go on being Hogwarts High Inquisitor

HARRY
Your good advice I will ignore for I've defeated Voldemort
And surely I'm an  equal for the Hogwarts High Inquisitor

UMBRIDGE
I have a thing for halfbreeds which is positively Freudian
I passed a law so Remus Lupin cannot be  employed again
I sent Trelawney packing with my breathless phony hacking 
'hem'
And my  reforms are sticking cos the Daily Prophet's backing 
them
And now that I have  evidence against that old fool Dumbledore
I've proved he's raised an army and we're going to shove him out 
the door
I'll use Veritaserum, I can prove that  Potter's telling lies
And naughty Marietta tells that they've been meeting in disguise

THE DA
And naughty Marietta squeals that we've been meeting in 
disguse (3x)

UMBRIDGE
I'll squelch this nasty rumour saying You Know Who is back 
again
And I'll be the new Hogwarts Head before you can say Slytherin
And I will have accomplished everything that is requisite for
Fulfilling my assignment as the  Hogwarts High Inquisitor

ALL
And she will have accomplished everything that is requisite for
Fulfilling her assignment as the Hogwarts High Inquisitor 

UMBRIDGE
If Harry Potter doesn't talk I'm going to use a crucio!
Unless the little bugger tells me whom he was floo speaking so 
It's time he was discredited, I do not need a  dementor
I'll make him talk because I am the Hogwarts High Inquisitor

HERMIONE
No! Come in to the forest where a weapon's hidden carefully
And do not take your squad unless you trust them all  implicitly
(And if you are not capable of fighting off a mad centaur
I think we'll finally get rid of the Hogwarts High Inquistor)

THE DA
I think we'll finally get rid of the Hogwarts High Inquisitor (3x)

UMBRIDGE
What I have learned from Slinkhard's book is highly theoretical
It's only useful when I'm fighting monsters hypothetical
The centaurs have surrounded me, my terror is exquisite for
They don't seem to respect me as a Hogwarts High Inquisitor

THE DA
The centaurs have surrounded her, her terror is exquisite for
They do not give a clop about the Hogwarts High Inquisitor