FILK: How to Succeed Against Baseness Without Even Dying

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 70879

How to Succeed Against Baseness Without Even Dying (OOP, Chap. 18)

To the tune of How To Succeed from the musical How to Succeed in 
Business Without Really Trying

A brief excerpt can be heard at Amazon (If this URL is too long to 
work, go to Amazon, and enter "Succeed in Business" – select the 1961 
version, which has more of the song than the 1995)

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-
/B000003EZ7/qid=1058367396/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_2/104-2177332-2257522?
v=glance&s=music

Dedicated to Pippin

NOTE:  To preserve the original rhyme scheme "here" and "near" are 
pronounced with an East-Coast accent (i.e., "he-ah" and "ne-ah")

THE SCENE: The Room of Requirement. With the newly-created DA 
assembled before him, HARRY begins his first lesson.

HARRY: 
How to defy a Dark mob.
How to advance in your spell work.
How to defeat the grotesque
How to de-jinx Counter-jinxes.
How to develop alternative schools.
How to include that poor Longbottom dude,
So that he'll be superlative cool.

This room is all that we need.
How to... How to succeed! 

HARRY (with DA CHORUS singing each "How To")
How to use disarming spells.
How to outsmart all the Dark Arts
How to destroy evil fiends.
How to make use of the Foe-Glass.
How to teach in a Requirement Room 
With Cho Chang he-ah 
Chilling me when she's nea-ah
As I teach you Expelliarmus!

This room is all that we need.
Now to...
Now to proceed!

   -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm