TBAY: Wake Up Call aboard the U.S.S. SAD DENIAL

[Risti]

No: HPFGUIDX 72997

Inside George's one quiet afternoon, the occupants noticed that 
George appeared to be decorating.  Near one of the many back tables 
stood two full suits of armor, from helmet with face-plate right 
down to steel boots.

"Risti?  Don't you think this is a little much?  After all, we'll be 
going in there with our wands ready, I don't see how *this* is going 
to protect us," came a voice from inside the helmet of one suit of 
armor.

"Maybe you're right
" the other suit of armor said.  "Now if I can 
just remember how to get this off
"  A few muted bangs could be 
heard from within.  Without any other warning the suit of armor, 
with Risti still definitely inside began to teeter 
dangerously.  "Woah, look out Eur-"

The crash that swallowed the end of her sentence was loud enough to 
turn every head in the tavern towards the two suits of armor, which 
were now lying dented on the floor.

"Miss Ris?  You and your friend alright?" George said, rushing out 
from behind the bar.

A young blonde was the first to struggle her way out of the broken 
armor.  "Nothing really hurt, except my pride.  What a way to make 
an entrance," she said with a  pointed look at Risti, who was 
tugging at the last piece of armor that was stuck on her foot.  
Risti blushed, looking slightly sheepish.

"Sorry about that Eurydice," she said, and then turned to 
George.  "I don't think we'll be needing these tonight.  Not quite 
the right weaponry we're looking for.  We need something with a 
little more stealth."

"Miss Ris, I think I might just have what you need.  If you'll just 
give me a moment
"  Now that Risti had managed to get herself 
completely free, the suits of armor were putting themselves back 
together.  They followed George behind the bar, clanking only a 
little.  Risti motioned to Eurydice, and they walked with the 
entourage as far as the counter. George did indeed return in a 
moment to the counter, taking a quick look around at the other 
occupants in the bar.  After making sure they were indeed all 
occupied, he purposely tipped over a dusty bottle of butterbeer, 
whose logo said it was in commemoration of the first annual Theory 
Bay Ship Race.    With a loud squeak which effectively turned all 
heads towards the girls again, the counter spun upside down to 
reveal a large collection of various weapons.

"Whoa
" Eurydice said, seeming slightly in awe.

"So what'll it be, Miss Ris?" George asked.

"Well, I'll need a OOTP-710, naturally.  I ought to be able to get a 
few good shots out of that one."

"American issue?"

"You know me better then that, George.  British issue, Canadian 
styling."  As Risti hid her weapon inside her jacket, Eurydice 
selected her own weaponry.

"Oh, and George?" Risti crooked her finger, indicating for him to 
come closer.  Leaning forward, she whispered something in his ear.  
George's eyes grew large.

"Are you sure, Miss Ris?"

"Never been surer."

"Alright then
" George trailed of as he turned around and knocked 
over another dusty bottle, a bottle of Firewisky that looked as old 
as he was.  The counter shot sideways into the wall to reveal a 
sunken compartment.  George carefully lifted a long, black tube and 
handed it to Risti, who strapped it to her back.

"That'll be all, George.  We'll be back for victory drinks later 
tonight."

"Cocky, aren't you?" said George as his counter slowly returned 
itself to normal, stale peanuts and all.

"Well, I'd have to be, carrying this, now wouldn't I?"

"You can say that again."

Risti turned to Eurydice, "Ready to go?"

"All set."

"See you on the deck of the U.S.S. SAD DENIAL then."  With a crack 
and a pop, they were gone, leaving the less jaded onlookers 
wondering what sort of wierdos they'd just seen.

A short distance away, Captain Terry was startled to see two women 
suddenly appear on her ship.

"Welcome," she said, getting her off her lounge chair.  "He will 
rise!" she said in greeting.

Risti snorted.  "Indeed."

Terry continued on with a cheerfully grievous tone  "What can I do 
for you ladies?  Would you like to add a flower to the memorial?  
Light a candle for the protection of Sirius's soul during it's brief 
stint in the world beyond the veil?"

"We'd like to see your canons," said Eurydice bluntly.

"My canons?  Are you sure?  They're not much to look at, you know?" 
Terry said, seemingly thrown off guard.

"Oh trust me, we know."

"Perhaps we should introduce ourselves," Risti said, stepping 
forward.  "My name is Risti.  I'm here on behalf of the Water Safety 
Patrol for the Bay.  My friend here came along as back up.  We're 
here to make sure this ship is sea worthy."

"Eurydice, P.I." Eurydice said by way of introduction.  "I make it 
my job to find out what you unknowingly reveal."

"Oh, well, er, what can I do for you two?  I run a tight ship, I can 
promise you that," Terry said, obviously flustered.

"We'll see about that after we inspect your canons," Risti said, 
pulling out a notepad.

"My canons?  What do they have to do with how seaworthy this ship 
is?"

"You haven't been around the Bay that long, have you," Risti 
chuckled.  "Now quit stalling."

"Now, now," Terry said, leading them through a door, "No need to get 
testy.  They're right through here.  We don't keep them out in the 
open, we're a peaceful ship, really.  Here they are now."

Risti and Eurydice bent down and examined the first canon.  "That 
one explains how the curse was red, not green, that hit Sirius."

"Really," said Risti, pulling the OOTP-710 out of her jacket 
pocket.  Taking aim, she blasted a hole into the canon with it.  A 
voice seemed to echo around them.

"Harry saw Sirius duck Bellatrix's jet of red light: he was laughing 
at her.
`Come on, you can do better than that!'
`The second jet of light hit him squarely in the chest."

"What did you do that for?" Terry said indignantly.

"It was the second jet of light, not the first that was red," Risti 
said calmly.

"But..in order for their to be a second curse, there has to be a 
first!" Terry protested.

There was another bang, and again a voice relayed the same 
information, in a slightly different accent.  "The 806 American 
Issue," Eurydice said with a smile.  "I had George toss it in just 
in case.  That argument doesn't hold up.  Nowhere in canon does it 
say the second curse was the same as the first."

"In fact, from what Sirius said, it would be only natural that she'd 
up the curse she was using to a higher level."  Risti took aim and 
shot again.

"The laughter had not quite died from his face, but his eyes widened 
in shock
It seemed to take Sirius an age to fall: his body curved in 
a graceful arc as he sank backwards through the ragged veil hanging 
from the arch.  Harry saw a look of mingled fear and surprise on his 
godfather's wasted, once handsome face as he fell through the 
ancient doorway and disappeared behind the veil."

Captain Terry looked close to tears.  "Did you have to bring that 
up?  It still hurts to think about, you know!"

"Captain, canon shows that Sirius showed all the known signs of an 
Avada Kedavra curse.  His face showed his last expression, as well 
as shock, fear, and surprise.  Not only that, but the shot obviously 
at least knocked him out the way he's `sank backwards'.  If that 
wasn't enough, he disappeared behind the veil, and yes, the veil 
would be enough to end his life.  He's dead."

Captain Terry was whimpering now.  "We have other canons, you know, 
like this one." Terry pointed.

Eurydice knelt down and carefully examined what Terry had pointed 
at.  "This isn't a canon," she said disdainfully, "It's a STUFFED 
BEAR!"

"So?" Terry asked.

"You can't defend a theory with another theory that's nothing more 
then the opinion of fangirls."

"Yeah well, Do you really think the Ministry would just have a room 
where it was possible for someone to just walk through a veil and 
die?  Doesn't exactly seem safe, does it?" Terry countered, having 
grabbed the bear away from Eurydice she had now gone back to the 
original canon.

"It's the Department of Mysteries," Risti said, rolling her 
eyes, "It's not some broom closet off the main lobby.  People know 
the Department of Mysteries contains dangerous things.  That's why 
very few people go in there!"

 "Thestrals!" Terry blurted out.  Risti raised her eyebrows in 
question.  "Surely JKR wouldn't just waste beings who could find 
their way anywhere on getting Harry to the Ministry.  They can go to 
the underworld and find Sirius!"

"Wasted?  How else was Harry going to get to the Ministry?  And 
Harry getting to the Ministry was very central for this plot.  As 
for the underworld, just because they can find there way anywhere 
doesn't mean they can take someone along with them anywhere."

"But Neville and Harry
 Isn't it strange that the only two to see 
him die were Neville and Harry, who could both already see 
thestrals?"

"You mean isn't it strange that Harry and Neville, who were both the 
focus of the prophecy, were the only two to be there for the climax?"

"What?" Terry asked in confusion.

"Just pointing out that there could be other plot reasons for Harry 
and Neville to both be there at that point."

"Do you have any other canons?" Eurydice asked, surveying the dimly 
lit room.

"Well, some light weaponry," Terry said gulping, "There's the fact 
that Harry needs a Father figure
"

"Enough!" Risti said, her voice rising above what could be called 
an `indoor voice'.  "I think we've heard enough.  I was really 
hoping I wouldn't have to do this
" Eurydice snorted in laughter, 
but Risti ignored her.  She unstrapped the long black tube, popped 
the top, and pulled out a large, bright yellow flag.  "Captain 
Terry, on behalf of the Theory Bay Water Safety Patrol you've 
officially been Yellow Flagged, and deemed unsafe to sail.  Please 
return your ship to the harbour immediately."

"What?" Captain Terry was clearly outraged.  "But
"

"Save your arguments for court."

"Court?"

"An owl will arrive to tell you the time and place to arrive.  Try 
not to be late."

With that, Risti and Eurydice apparated, leaving the yellow flag.

~Risti

Captain Terry's points paraphrased from message 66464, in which she 
attributes some of them to other listees.  While I was writing this, 
I noticed a couple other Sirius threads pop up.  Feel free to jump 
in and add these posts, or any other thoughts you might have.  Court 
coming soon.  For full explanation of a Yellow Flag Violation, visit 
http://www.hpfgu.org.uk/faq/hypotheticalley.html#flag .