Letter to Hide (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 73339

A foray into Bohacek-land



Letter to Hide (PS/SS, Chap. 3)

To the tune of The Beatles' Ticket to Ride

Hear a MIDI:

http://www.geocities.com/Yosemite/2729/index2.html

Dedicated to Wendy St. John (Keep on filking!)

THE SCENE: Four Privet Drive. VERNON & PETUNIA are alarmed by a 
persistent series of letters addressed to their nephew

VERNON
Today at my Privet pad 
I choked on my toast, yeah. 
A note for that Potter lad 
Jus' came in the post. 

I've got a letter to hide. 
I've got a letter to hi-hi-hide. 
I've got a letter to hide
I don't know where 

PETUNIA
He once stayed under the steps 
We just moved him out, yeah. 
This note we now intercept 
Shows that they found out 

BOTH
We've got some letters to hide. 
We've got some letters to hi-hi-hide. 
We've got some letters to hide, 
We don't know where

DUDLEY
I don't know why they're writing this guy 

HARRY
A letter addressed
A letter suppressed from me

DUDLEY
Despite my threats my folks won't comply

HARRY & DUDLEY
A letter they shred
A letter unread by me

HARRY
I think that I've got a plan 
Get up with the birds, yeah. 
First up to greet the postman 
And scan all those words, yeah. 

Ah, I want that letter to read. S
I want that letter to re-re-read. 
I want that letter to read.
It's my affair.

I don't know what is now underfoot 
It's quite a surprise. 
It has these two eyes, dear me!

On Vernon's face my shoe I just put, 
He wants to stand guard  
To keep these notes barred from me. 

VERNON
You think that sneakin' downstairs 
Will earn you some views, yeah
These notes sent, I declare, 
You'll never peruse. 

Ah, I've got more letters to hide. 
I've got more letters to hi-hi-hide. S
I've got more letters to hide, 
And am I scared!. 

HARRY & DURSLEYS
Letters from nowhere....
Letters from nowhere....
Letters from nowhere....
Letters from nowhere....
Letters from nowhere....

(A couple of seconds of silence after the fadeout, after which 
several dozen letters plummet out of the fireplace.)

  - CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm