Harry's Blues (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 74394

My first Sondheim OOP Filk (just in time for Harry's birthday)

Harry's Blues 

To the tune of Buddy's Blues, from Sondheim's Follies

Dedicated to Suzanne Chiles

Despite the title, this is not a Blues song – it is sung very fast in 
a 1920s/1930s Vaudeville style. 

A brief MIDI is here:

http://www.musicalmidi.net/Sondheim.html

The text can be found here:

http://libretto.musicals.ru/text.php?textid=116&language=1

THE SCENE: The Playground at Little Whinging. Enter HARRY, sliding to 
center stage

HARRY (to the readers):
Hello, folks, welcome to The Phoenix!
First off, folks, let's pause for a spell.
OK folks, `cause before we see Six--
I've got a couple problems that I just have to tell
..

See, I've been very perturbed of late, very upset,
Very distressed and alone.
Awake or asleep, there's always some threat
It's PTSD —or maybe hormones?

I've got those
"Hey-he's-resurrected-but-nobody-will-believe-me" 
Blues,
That "How-can-they-all-deride-me-when-they-know-that-I'm-the-good-
guy" 
Feeling
That
"No-one-can-appreciate-how-bravely-I-fought"
And, "I-did-it-all-through-dumb-luck-and-those-skills-can't-be-taught"
Those
"Snape-is-such-a-git-and-how-could-Dad-treat-him-so-rotten?"
Feelings,
Those
"Tell-me-you-believe-me-oh-you-do-who-cares-what-you-think"
Blues.

(A slower tempo, as an imaginary RON appears before HARRY  - all of 
RON'S echoes are spoken)

Ronnie, Oh, Ronnie, 
He says that he supports me.

"RON":
Support you

HARRY:
-he says.
He says he's my ally.

"RON":
A lie, a lie


HARRY:
But through some crummy deal

"RON":

.me deal

HARRY:
-it seems.
Ron's  Prefect, not I

"RON":
I'm Prefect, goshdarnit

HARRY:
And so that night we partied-

"RON":
We partied-

HARRY:
- we did  
The twins said they'd be sick.

"RON":
(makes wretching noises)

HARRY:
They say Prefects are all nerds-

"RON":
Are all nerds
.

HARRY:
-they said.
In this our opinions both click!

(The music resumes a quick tempo)

"RON" (takes off on his Cleansweep in pursuit of the Quaffle)
Don't stop! Don't stop!
I've got it! I've got it!
Come back!

(Exit "RON")

HARRY:
I've got those
"They-should-know-I'm better-than-Ron-Weasley-don't-you-think-so?"
Blues,
That
"Am-I-low-enough-to-devastate-my-best-friend's-greatest-triumph?"
Feeling.
That
"I-can't-stand-to-hear-him-when-he-bickers-with-Herm
SO-I'LL-JUST-SCREAM-AT-HIM-IN-CAPS-UNTIL-HIS-EARS-BURN"
Those
"`I'm-really-glad-to-help-you'-in-a-horrible-and-fake-voice"
Feelings,
Those
"I'm-so-glad-to-see-you,"
"I'm-glad-Hedwig-scratched-you,"
"It's-good-that-you-made-our-team-as-Keeper-you-dumb-loser -
Ron-I-saved -your-father-though-I-might-have-meant-to-kill-him"
Blues!

(An imaginary DUMBLEDORE joins HARRY on the playground. DUMBLEDORE'S 
lines are spoken)

Dumble... Oh, Dumble... 
He says I'm like no other -

"DUMBLEDORE":
No other-

HARRY:
-he says,
A hero he proclaims

"DUMBLEDORE":
Claims, claims

HARRY:
He says I fight off evil.

"DUMBLEDORE":
Evilevilevilevil

HARRY:
-he says.
>From Flamel to Flame 

"DUMBLEDORE":
Phlegm in the flame!?

HARRY:
But now he sends no letters-

"DUMBLEDORE":
No letters!-

HARRY:
-He sends
Won't look me in the eye

"DUMBLEDORE":
Aye, aye, aye.

HARRY: 
He must think that I'm a failure

"DUMBLEDORE":
You fail your-

HARRY:
-it seems.
I'd lead an army for that guy!

(Re-enter "RON", as the music returns for a very fast tempo for the 
grand finale)

HARRY:
I've got that
.

ALL:
"Saving-people-thing-that's-putting-everyone-in-danger"
Blues-

"DUMBLEDORE & RON":
Bla-bla-blues-!

ALL:
That
"Go-on-and-ignore-me/him-and-just-see-how-much-I/he-suffer(s)"
Feeling-

"DUMBLEDORE & RON":
Feeling-!

HARRY:
That
"Don't-treat-me-like-a-child-when-I'm-as-grown-up-as-you"-

"DUMBLEDORE & RON":
Woo-!

HARRY:
And "If-you-don't-agree-I'll-hold-my-breath-and-turn-blue"

"DUMBLEDORE & RON":
Ooh-!

HARRY:
Those
"How-dare-you-show-you're-human-when-it-interrupts-my-tantrum"
Feelings.

"DUMBLEDORE & RON":
Bla-bla-blues-!

HARRY:
Those
"Boy-Who-Lived-Dog-Who-Died,
Sibyll-T.-said-I'm-gonna
Voldy-sought-it-as-I-dreamt-it
Lou-grabbed-for-it-Neville-smashed-it"

ALL
"Nightmare-Doomsday 
DE-DA".

HARRY
"Yes-he's-resurrected-and-my-destiny's-to-kill-him
."

ALL:

..Blues!

   -  CMC
  
HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm