Harry and Tommy (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 59515

I really should hold this one back until Book Five, but it's 
demanding to be released.

Harry and Tommy

To the tune of Lucy and Jessie by Stephen Sondheim (originally in 
Follies, but cut from the premiere)

Dedicated to Lilac

Here's a little story that may sound bizarre
But has won some great acclaim.
I'll sing you of Harry P and Tommy R 
That is, He-Who-Can't Be-Named.
Now Harry has the bravey
And Fawkes from the aviary 
And that's why he belongs in Gryffindor.
Tommy has audacity
And being neo-fascist, he.
Transformed himself into Lord Voldemort
Given these antagonists 
You may know why 
These two share such bitter hate 
Canon so narrates
Their fate 

Harry's a hero
And has been since birth
Tommy would domi-
Nate all of the earth
Harry's just a year old, he
Tommy calls himself Voldy
Harry's safe with his Mommy
Till Tommy tarries

Scary Tommy has worries
About Lilly's son.
Harry must hurry
Or his life is done
Tommy tries to kill Harry,
Mommy tries to flee Tommy
Then he's hit by a bomb, the
Giant tsunami.

Poor old  Vold
Shattered and then scattered whole.
Harry gains powers that Tommy bore
Tommy, harried, now must head off-shore

Harry's with Dursleys
Just barely he's fed.
Tommy's entombed, he
Is virtually dead.
Harry ain't got a prayer, he
Tommy's deep in despair, see
But Harry and Tommy will once more collide
And that they will someday
The fate of the whole world decide!

Now if you see Harry P,
Youthful, truthful Harry P,
Tell him don't compel him into therapy!
Now if you see Tommy R
Snaky, sneaky Tommy R
Tell him antebellum times went *au revior*
Wary Harry
Swami Tommy.
Ask  'em when they plan to get together next,
'Cause when they get together, they'll be both hexed!

    - CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm