[HPforGrownups] Re: What you WON'T read in OoP

[IAmLordCassandra at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 61086

In a message dated 6/19/2003 10:58:45 AM Eastern Daylight Time, 
rstephens at northwestern.edu writes:


> Keeping with the "things that won't be said in OotP" mold (meaning dialouge 
> 
> only), I've cleaned up the list and added some of my own.  Couldn't resist.  
> 
> This is too much fun.
> 
> 1. From Hagrid : " Now Harry, I'm supposed to tell you this secret....."
> 2. "Fawkes! Stop flicking your ash on the carpet!"
> 3. At the Dementors : "Now give auntie a nice big kiss!"
> 4. Snape : "Well done, Neville! 50 points to Gryffindor!"
> 5. Madame Malkin : "This year the mini is 'in'!".
> 6. Colin Creevely, pointing his camera : "Keep moving, please!"
> 7. Ollivander : " For the budget minded we have the PVC model with 
> simulated grain."
> 8. " Neville! Can't you control Trevor? There's toadstools all over the 
> place!"
> 9. Ron : " That won't work, Harry. According to the Theory of 
> Indeterminancy...."
> 10. Dumbledore : " Harry, what I have to tell you is...Arrrgggghhhh!" Body 
> hits 
> floor. 
> 11. Ron: "I read in "Hogwarts' a History.........."
> 12. Hermione: "Well it hardly matters if we miss just one 
> lesson.."
> 13. Snape: "Thankyou." to any Gryffindor you please
> 14. Moody: "I was just taking a little relaxation break."
> 15. Arthur Weasley: "Its just some *ordinary* muggle thing."
> 16. MacGonagall to Moody: "Really, relaxation well that was just the thing 
> on 
> my own mind today."
> 17: Neville: "Harry, why do you always forget your passwords?"
> 18: Hermione: "Maybe he apparated into Hogwarts?"
> 19: Petunia: "Do you want to invite your friends to spend the summer with 
> us, 
> Harry?"
> 20:Snape to Sirius: "Don't worry about it; I forgive you."
> 21:Sirius to Snape: "I've always liked your hair."
> 22:Draco to Harry: "I can't help it. I love you."
> 23:Lucius Malfoy: "One mustn't take this pure-blood stuff too far."
> 24:Lily Potter to Harry: "You're adopted."
> 25. Prof. Trelawney: "It's just a lump of tea leaves"
> 26. Crabbe and Goyle: "This feast food is just way too fattening"
> 27. Prof. Snape: "I think I'll lay out in the sun for a bit....I could use a 
> tan"
> 
> ***
> 28. Uncle Vernon: "Harry, you're an absolute rail.  Petunia, fix Harry a 
> nice big 
> steak dinner."
> 29. Uncle Vernon:  "Pleasure to see you again Mr. Weasley. You must come 
> see my new mechanical tie rack."
> 30. Voldemort (dressed in drag): "Hi everyone.  I'm your new DADA teacher."
> 31. Hermione: "Arithmancy is such rubbish.  I should have stayed in 
> Divination."
> 32. Any Trio member:  "I guess they'll have to call us the `Threesome' now."

33. Dobby: Join me in the boycott against clothes! Wheeeee! *runs around 
naked* Down with socks!!! 
34. Dobby/Ginny/Colin: I hate Harry Potter. Down with scar boy! 
35. Hagrid: Eep! I'm not going to get near that thing...it looks dangerous!  
36. Voldemort: Harry...it is time you knew the truth....Dumbledore never told 
you what happened to your father   Harry: He told me enough! He told me you 
killed him!  Voldemort: No. *I* am your father!  

~Cassie~ 


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