[HPforGrownups] Re: What you WON'T read in OoP

[Sushi]

No: HPFGUIDX 61085

         Rachelbeth007 said/tidied:

>Keeping with the "things that won't be said in OotP" mold (meaning dialouge
>only), I've cleaned up the list and added some of my own.  Couldn't resist.
>This is too much fun.
>
>1. From Hagrid : " Now Harry, I'm supposed to tell you this secret....."
>2. "Fawkes! Stop flicking your ash on the carpet!"
>3. At the Dementors : "Now give auntie a nice big kiss!"
>4. Snape : "Well done, Neville! 50 points to Gryffindor!"
>5. Madame Malkin : "This year the mini is 'in'!".
>6. Colin Creevely, pointing his camera : "Keep moving, please!"
>7. Ollivander : " For the budget minded we have the PVC model with
>simulated grain."
>8. " Neville! Can't you control Trevor? There's toadstools all over the 
>place!"
>9. Ron : " That won't work, Harry. According to the Theory of
>Indeterminancy...."
>10. Dumbledore : " Harry, what I have to tell you is...Arrrgggghhhh!" Body 
>hits
>floor.
>11. Ron: "I read in "Hogwarts' a History.........."
>12. Hermione: "Well it hardly matters if we miss just one
>lesson.."
>13. Snape: "Thankyou." to any Gryffindor you please
>14. Moody: "I was just taking a little relaxation break."
>15. Arthur Weasley: "Its just some *ordinary* muggle thing."
>16. MacGonagall to Moody: "Really, relaxation well that was just the thing on
>my own mind today."
>17: Neville: "Harry, why do you always forget your passwords?"
>18: Hermione: "Maybe he apparated into Hogwarts?"
>19: Petunia: "Do you want to invite your friends to spend the summer with us,
>Harry?"
>20:Snape to Sirius: "Don't worry about it; I forgive you."
>21:Sirius to Snape: "I've always liked your hair."
>22:Draco to Harry: "I can't help it. I love you."
>23:Lucius Malfoy: "One mustn't take this pure-blood stuff too far."
>24:Lily Potter to Harry: "You're adopted."
>25. Prof. Trelawney: "It's just a lump of tea leaves"
>26. Crabbe and Goyle: "This feast food is just way too fattening"
>27. Prof. Snape: "I think I'll lay out in the sun for a bit....I could use 
>a tan"
>
>***
>28. Uncle Vernon: "Harry, you're an absolute rail.  Petunia, fix Harry a 
>nice big
>steak dinner."
>29. Uncle Vernon:  "Pleasure to see you again Mr. Weasley. You must come
>see my new mechanical tie rack."
>30. Voldemort (dressed in drag): "Hi everyone.  I'm your new DADA teacher."
>31. Hermione: "Arithmancy is such rubbish.  I should have stayed in
>Divination."
>32. Any Trio member:  "I guess they'll have to call us the `Threesome' now."

         33. Wormtail: "M-master?  C-could I have a different hand, 
please?  This one clashes with my robes."
         34. Dumbledore (to Voldemort): "Tom... I am your father. *heavy 
breathing*"
         35. "Is it just me, or are those... highlights... in Professor 
Snape's hair?"
         36. Fred (or George): "Geez... go away, Percy!  I've got to finish 
this report on cauldron bottom thickness before tomorrow!"
         37. "And our next model for Madam Malkin's House of Style, the 
lovely Severus Snape, is wearing..."
         38. Cedric: "What worms?  I don't see any worms."
         39. "My Lord?"
         "What, Lucius?"
         "My Lord, some of the lads and I got together and, um, we got you 
a present.  Just something we chipped in for to... to show our appreciation."
         "Well... I... I don't really know what to say, Lucius.  I'm... 
touched."
         "*hands over package* It's a clock, sir.  And we've got you this 
watch as well, Lord, and Goyle, here, baked you a cake..." (yeah, yeah - 
bad Python takeoffs are my specialty)
         40. "You know, Potter, this Dark Lord business is all well and 
good, but all I've ever really wanted is a kitten of my very own."

Sushi, who will stop before she gets to Dumbledore saying, "THIS is an 
EX-DIGGORY"


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