OotP - feeling just a bit resentful...

[elspeth_orange]

No: HPFGUIDX 61792

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> --- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "shelaghcol" 
<ShelaghC at a...> wrote:

> > The poor man basically had no life at all, spent nearly half of   
> > it either in prison wrongfully or on the lam, is never cleared  
> > and that's about it - so sorry, Messrs. Black and Potter.
> > 
> > Anyone else having similar resentments about that whole 
> > thing?

yes, yes, YES!  i know damned well that i get too emotionally 
involved in these fictional characters (don't we all, i guess; why 
else would we be here, eh?), but i feel BETRAYED... empty... 
numb... and yes, *resentful* that JKR seems to have invested so 
much in constructing such a fantastic, three-dimensional 
character with so much potential, only to tear him away from us 
(or moreover, Harry).  seems like she knew just the character the 
fandom had become so emotionally invested in, the one person 
whose death would well and truly knock us down and tear our 
hearts out.  hell, i was halfway prepared for Hagrid, for a 
Weasley, hell, for Dumbledore, but somehow i was never 
prepared for Sirius.  i'm sure this has been mentioned before (i 
can never keep track, hence the lurking), but i suspect that those 
of us with a penchant for fanfiction feel a sort of weird irony that 
the connection to this character we've built through certain 
pieces is making the real deal all the more heartwrenching.  
dammit, JKR.

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "Rach" <
rachrobins at h...> wrote:

> I keep deluding myself that he's not really gone, and beyond 
> the veil is not what we think it is, but this is a very childlike
view. 

ditto.  i've read the scene over and over again, naively looking for 
some glimmer of hope that the veil is not all it seems, etc, etc.
i also feel as though Sirius' death has poisoned all the little bits 
earlier in the novel where i howled with laughter, screamed 
giddily at some fantastic turn of phrase, all the bits that made me 
think that JKR had somehow turned from good to %^&$* brilliant.  
aggghhh!  not fair!

> Harry too is now so totally despondent that he would probably 
> roll over and die given the chance. He loved Sirius more 
> completely than any other adult in his life right now. 

you know, there were a couple key moments in GoF that i found 
myself thinking "GAH!  if THIS doesn't make Harry want to throw 
himself off the Astronomy Tower...".  and now in OotP, Harry 
practically says as much, and god was it heartwrenching all over 
again to see him wishing for death, wishing for an 'out', and end 
to the game... even before Dumbledore explains the prophecy.  
not to sound any more fatalistic and overly emotional than i have 
already, but bloody hell, HOW can this poor kid possibly survive 
what he knows is to come when any foundation he finds along 
his journey is promptly ripped out from beneath him?  i kept 
thinking of Cassie's DV!Harry, self-involved and blinded into 
thinking he was born to stand alone before all the evils of the 
world.  it'll be interesting to see how JKR will handle this now 
that Harry knows his destiny.

*sigh*  i was so looking forward to creeping out of lurkdom for 
happy, giddy posting and reading.  i didn't bargain for not being 
able to SLEEP for all my angst!  ;>

-elspeth