OOP: Re: Bad Harry? OotP Spoiler

[Julia]

No: HPFGUIDX 62749

> I don't think he was too confused. I think he was giving her a 
taste of her 
> own, what she gave the Longbottoms. Remember Harry's reaction in 
GoF when he 
> learned that she tortured both of Neville's parents until they 
went insane---and 
> she gloated about it during the trial. 
> 
> ---Mary

I didn't mean he was too confused persay, more like too... 
desperate?  I can't think of the best word, but he was in so much 
pain at that point right after Sirius's death, and to avoid feeling 
it, he lashed out, he needed to cause pain to something else.  This 
is mentioned as well in the next chapter when Harry wants Dumbledore 
to feel at least some part of the "horror" he feels inside.  Anyway, 
Harry can obviously feel anger and hatred, I think the point I'm 
trying to get across is that Harry, no matter how much he can't 
stand someone, does not intrinsically enjoy causing pain.  He 
performed the curse, but couldn't follow through with it.  Granted, 
he has no experience using it, but as said by Lestrange, you have to 
enjoy causing pain, righteous anger won't last, you have to *mean* 
it.  And he obviously doesn't.  He's just hurting, as Dumbledore 
said, feeling like he'll bleed to death because of it.  He 
ultimately blames himself, he wants to avoid feeling that pain and 
guilt, and thus, fleetingly wants to cause pain to others.  That's a 
natural human reaction, but this is also Harry we're talking about.  
The whole reason he's the one who can defeat Voldemort - he cares 
and loves too much - he's too good.  Harry isn't evil for using the 
curse, it just proves he's human to react in such a way.  But if 
anything, Harry is the epitome of good, just not completely 
altruistic.

Julia Adair